Forget Me Not
by Yueres De Leo
Summary: Bilbo could see grand halls, even if she had never actually been there; she could hear a story about greed and about a beast, even when no one had told her about it. When she signed the contract with her name, the name that ironically enough was a boy's, she didn't mean to fool the company with pants and shirts instead of skirts and ribbons, she only meant to help. Thorin/FemBilbo
1. Chapter 1: Good Morning

_**"**__**And then, if you forgive me…. would you dance again with me?"**_

* * *

_With her little hands she hold onto the back of her mother's skirt, hiding her whole being from sight, gathering just a little bit of courage to steal a glance of the one standing in front of both of them. Bilbo found herself unable of looking away once, and with only half of her little face on sight, her eyes landed on the certainly perfect face of the man kneeling in front of her mother so to talk to her face to face- But it was not a man, was him? Men didn't have pointy ears like hobbits, her mother had said so. No, he was not a man, nor he was a hobbit. He was someone with pale skin, someone with long and beautiful blond hair, someone with blue eyes. _

_Her mother had told her about people like them, almost every time during her bed time stories, she could remember that even when she couldn't remember a name- She had talked about bravery and beauty, about intelligence and a 'forever', a word the child couldn't quite place next to a definition. Nothing that really meant something to Bilbo, besides the fact of being different from home, different from her cousins and different from her aunts, different from her bedroom, her father's armchair and her mother's garden. Different from herself, she supposed. And now she could see it, see him, and somehow make him see her. The –man, hobbit, dwarf?-stopped midsentence, looking down at her with a blank expression, not blinking or nodding, not even moving, the leaves and branches that were almost encircling his head bright with color against his golden hair. _

_Bilbo thought that he looked sad. Or at least, that he looked rather lonely. _

_She didn't like it, not in the slightest. Was it because of her? Was it because he was looking at her? No, it couldn't be, he had been really happy looking at her mother, what would it be different? She didn't like it, so she reaffirmed her grip on her mother's skirt, who chuckled slightly. The sad looking blond glanced up at Belladonna, a half smile-half frown on his face, and turned back to look at Bilbo just after a second, showing something that managed to caught the child's attention. He was a little bit less lonely, and a little bit less sad, so he wasn't as scary anymore. He extended a hand to her, softly, slowly, like he was afraid to. _

_And maybe he was, thought Bilbo, and maybe that was why he was looking at her like that. Grownups don't cry in front of children, she had learnt, but he looked like he was about to do so._

_Bilbo didn't like that either. _

_So she took his hand, and tried to smile. _

_Fortunately, he smiled back. _

* * *

Bilbo Baggins didn't know where on when she learned how to use a bow.

But she _did_ know she was abnormally good at it.

And what made it an abnormal fact was not how she could pierce the centre of an apple when bringing them down because of being too lazy to just climb the tree, which was not a lady-like way to solve things either, mind you, or how neatly and quite easily she could shot an arrow through the very centre of the target behind her house and the very centre of the previous arrows that were already there.

No, what made it abnormal was how she seemed to be the only one in a mile away who knew how to even use a bow.

She knew hobbits weren't found of weapons and quite rarely were seen with their hands on even a simple dagger for hunting –_Unless she was talking about the Brandybucks, but still, no bows involved_-, but she was a hobbit as well, wasn't she? If hobbits weren't born for it, why was she able to use a bow so easily? Okay, granted, maybe she was not your everyday hobbit, apparently taking after her mother and therefore the Tooks just a little bit too much, but ever since her father died, years after her mother, Bilbo had tried her hardest to act like any other lady hobbit should act, or at least like a Mistress of Bag End, the Head of a hobbit Clan, should act. It was not hard, because she _was _already found of comfort and a good books by the fire and sitting on her father's old armchair, but it was harder to stay completely away from the things that made her just a little bit too different –_Climbing trees, using a bow, not agreeing to marry_\- so, at the end of the day, she found herself doing just that a few times a month when nobody could see her.

Or more like just when Lobelia Sackville Baggins couldn't see her.

Except that last thing, to marry, because she refused to spend the rest of her life doing even less than half of what she liked to do with a male by her side, no matter how hard Lobelia tried to engage Bilbo to her godson. There was just no way. And Bilbo was more than lucky to be liked by the Took's Head, her grandfather and the Thain, who was quick to back her up when she needed it. But yes, all in all even if Lobelia was annoying and she tried to avoid her as much as possible, Bilbo knew that dreadful woman was a little bit right- It was not normal. _She _was not normal. Bilbo knew that just alright, but it was not like she could do anything to change herself. She had tried; it had been a lost cause.

End of the story.

Or maybe not quite so, because that was where all the questions started.

"_Another bull's eye…"_ The hobbit stared at the target placed against a tree, hand still midair, mouth pressed into a thin line. The arrow she had just shot had landed just a few inches besides the arrow that was already embedded on the smooth surface. With that, it was a total of five bull's eye in just one target; the other three targets, on three different trees, were in the same condition.

It didn't make sense.

So much that it was starting to get ridiculous.

"Maybe it's a thing of blood" Bilbo muttered, closing her garden's door behind her, placing her bow and arrows against the wall just at her right. These items were to remain there when not used, which was most part of the month, hidden from any praying eye –_Ahem, Lobelia, ahem_\- so her attempts of go as a normal lady hobbit were not completely useless. Normally, she would have pulled out of the target the arrows she had used, but somehow she just wasn't up to it at that moment, her mind twirling around the possibilities she had come up with, the ones she had thought about over and over again.

_"__Maybe mother was good at shooting as well_" She thought, making her way to her room, quickly changing from her pants and shirt to a green dress already laid by the bed, placing the used clothes on the laundry basket. It was a good option, really. She had grown up hearing stories about her mother's audacity –_Bilbo's father words_\- and about her 'adventures', so maybe it wouldn't have been so surprising for Belladonna Took to know how to use a bow. It would have been nice to remember something about her, anything would have been fine, but every time Bilbo tried to remember there was just a big dark hole in the middle of her mind "_Or maybe it's a Tookish thing_" Not probable though, for no Took knew how to shoot either, no matter how Tookish.

Honestly, Bilbo didn't know if to cry or laugh at that.

To laugh because she was even more outgoing than a Took, or to cry pretty much because of the same reason.

"Or maybe it is just luck" Muttered the 'lady' hobbit to herself, opening the front door. She stretched her arms a little before going down the steps, pulling open the mailbox and reaching for whatever was inside. As usual, a couple of letters were waiting for her eyes to take in, and Bilbo did just that after pulling her arm back, busy mumbling under her breathe to even look up once "Yeah, maybe just luck"

It would have been a good idea to look up. Like, really.

"Luck is an extremely mean thing, my friend, taking for itself the believe in our own abilities"

The voice didn't fright her, per se, but it did make her jump in her place. Bilbo stood there, pressing the letters to her chest in a poor attempt of steading her heartbeat, looking up at the impossibly tall newcomer that was standing just in front of her at the other side of the little fence. It has been a really long time since she last saw a man, having gone to Bree no more than a couple of times with her father as a kid, and even so a part of her brain told her that this 'man' was not quite so. His white beard was odd for someone used to no facial hair, a pointy hat on top of his head, grey tunics that could use a wash and a long staff on his hand.

_-And butterflies made out of light danced around her head, flapping their wings so many times she got dizzy just of trying to count. Bilbo clapped happily, giggling at them, trying to catch the little moving lights over her head by jumping almost all over the room and by the long table at her side, her mother's and another person's chuckles reaching her ears. The tall man that had set the lights free laughed when she jumped by him, patting her head a little with his free hand; Bilbo looked pass his grey clothes, his white beard and messy eyebrows, staring right at the butterfly standing on top of his pointy hat. _

Bilbo frowned a little and shook her head ever so slightly.

Odd.

Extremely odd.

"Good morning" She greeted after she was sure enough that she was not going to stutter over her words, her heart beat not completely back to its normal pace. It was getting weirder and weirder by the second, now she was having strange thoughts. Where all those pictures came from anyway? Now she was going delusional.

"What do you mean?" He raised an eyebrow at her, and Bilbo was left with her mouth a little bit open. What exactly was she supposed to say to that? "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?"

She didn't miss a beat.

"I'm almost tempted to say that none of them"

There was a moment of silence that Bilbo used to bit hard on her tongue. She just had to go and say something like that to a total stranger, right? Her father had taught her better manners than that! But there was something on that man that just made her kind of unsettled, like she just had to know who he was, possibly because of the weird things going on her head. Or maybe it was just because he acted like she _should _know him. There was a slight frown on his face, and Bilbo just knew she had messed it up just like she had messed up the meeting with her great aunt Calivia just a few months ago. Truly, damn her and her incredibly big mouth.

Then, to her even bigger surprise, the man in front of her chuckled.

"I see where you take after your mother, Bilbo Baggins, and I'm most pleased for what I see. Although you look quite uncomfortable in a dress, am I right about that?"

_Say what?_

"I-I beg your pardon?" The hobbit was pretty sure the letter were going to end up wrinkled in such a way she wouldn't be able to read it, everything because of the tight hold she had on them against her chest, but that mattered little to her at that moment. Stuttering over her words was not something she did often, but this situation certainly deserved some kind of special treatment "You knew my mother?" He nodded.

"And I certainly know you" He pointed out, one of his eyebrow still slightly risen. If anyone had the right to look surprised, it was her, but her mind didn't exactly had the space to comment on something like that "You know my name, Bilbo Baggins, though you don't remember I belong to it" Said the strange man like some sort of explanation, and Bilbo opened her mouth again, not completely sure what was going to come out of it, but he was already talking again "I'm Gandalf, and Gandalf means me"

"Gandalf? Gandalf… the wondering wizard? The one that makes such excellent fireworks? Bless my soul! Old Took used to have them on midsummers eve!" Bilbo managed to let out a short laugh, completely and absolutely relieved, because now there was an explanation of _why _she had memories of him, even if her mind had placed herself and the wizard in a place she certainly didn't know. It did enough sense to calm her more than just a little bit, a smile making its way to her face "I had no idea you were still on business"

"I'm pleased to find you do remember something about me, even if it is not among my favorites" Gandalf chuckled. Then, suddenly, his eyes turned just half serious, and that kind of set Bilbo off a little bit "I'm looking for someone to share with an adventure"

"An… Adventure?" He just had to be like, what, twenty something years late? Had he said something like that when she was twenty, before her father had died, and she wouldn't even had to think about the answer. Actually, she surprised herself by not accepting right away, but what didn't surprise her as much was the picture of her armchair and her garden on the back of her head, and of course the picture of the oh ever so lovely Lobelia. Unfortunately, she was not as quick when it came to compose herself once again, her hands still holding the letters tightly against her chest "I don't imagine anyone west of Bree with much interest in an adventure, good sir"

Just like she had done before, Gandalf didn't miss a beat.

"And so it happens that I imagine someone around here wanting to do just that" Surprisingly enough he didn't raise an eyebrow even though she half expected him to. He just seemed to expect certain things about her that Bilbo couldn't allow. It didn't pain her, but it did make her uneasy. Better not to miss something when you didn't know what it was, and so she would continue without knowing what a real adventure was about.

"Then I suggest you to keep walking, Mister Gandalf, for it takes a lot time to walk all Hobbiton in one day" She took a step back, and then another one, slowly making her way up the steps to her door.

"That remains to be seen, my dear" Another thing she half expected him to do was to try to follow her inside, but that didn't happen. It was kind of a relive "I would inform the others immediately, my friend. It'll be good for you, of that I'm sure" Now with that she started to panic just a little bit. It was way too tempting.

"No! No! Please, just… just don't" Bilbo shook her head a couple of times "Do come again for apple pie and tea. A letter announcing your presence would be most welcome" At least she would get to speak with him, maybe make him tell her about her mother. Surely that much would be allowed without making her feel stupid for refusing such an opportunity "Good morning" She said breathlessly and turned around, a hand already on the knob of her door.

"Good morning indeed. Oh, and my dear" His voice was smooth, sweet, and he could be very well be making pleasant conversation. It was so calm and composed that Bilbo was almost afraid to turn around, thinking the worst as an outcome of her decision "I think you forgot these"

When she did turn around Gandalf was nowhere to be seen, almost like he had disappeared into thin air, but there, sitting on top of the bench just besides her mail box, were a bunch of arrows. The bunch of arrows she had left behind just a few minutes ago at the back of her house, pierced onto the target against a tree.

* * *

Bilbo was a boy's name.

She knew that ever since she was little, and apparently so did the rest of the people living in The Shire- They had all seen Belladonna Took's daughter wrath when she was laughed at for her name and her way of acting, and some of them even felt it; most of those unfortunates and foolish males still had the scars to prove that, when she was not that young but not yet in her tweens, Bilbo had been more of a Took than she was now a Baggins. She had been mistaken for a boy several times, running around in pants and shirts, borrowed from her cousins and then bought by her own father, up until the moment he fell ill. Bilbo could remember her father's smile when he asked her, lying on his bed, if to wear a dress was what she really wanted, looking over her green skirt and ribbons.

She had said yes.

Now, Bilbo wondered as she stood in front of the mirror inside her room, why she seemed unable to say the same lie to her reflection. The lie that she had said to herself every morning for the last twenty something years. _Just saying. _

_Although you look quite uncomfortable in a dress, am I right about that?_

Tilting her face to one side, she stared at her reflection. She certainly didn't look comfortable, but that was not something she wasn't used to. Glancing towards the small window on her left, she checked that it was getting darker and darker by the hour; frowning, she looked back at the mirror. She was just about to eat dinner and that was it for the day, she even had the food ready on the table, so it couldn't really hurt… right?

Sighing in defeat, she walked towards her closet. A couple of minutes later she was standing again in front of the mirror, smiling slightly at how much she looked like her father with pants and a shirt on. Thankfully Lobelia wouldn't visit her that night, and so Bilbo would be able to enjoy her night in absolute comfort. Smiling to her reflection once more, she walked out the door, humming to herself as she walked towards the kitchen, sitting on the seat just in front of the place with fish and several vegetables that she had set just a few minutes ago.

Then, _of course_, there was a knock on the door.

And that was quite enough to make her as nervous as she had managed not to be those last hours, just after she came back from the market. The picture of the really tall man standing in front of her door made her actually think about what would happen if she didn't move from her place at all or if she pretended to not have heard anything, finish her dinner and went straight to bed- Surely, sooner or later he would get tired and walk away, right? And this time, he most probably was not going to come back, because people as wise as wizards would know that she was not about to agree to whatever he was offering her.

And then everything would go back to normal.

In the morning maybe she would shoot a few arrows and that was going to be it; she would put her male clothes back into the closet until 'a next time'. And then she would eat breakfast.

Yes, if she didn't move from her place, he would realize that adventures were certainly the most unhobbitly thing to do, even if he already knew of her shooting arrows- Nothing more than a Baggins with a little bit too much of Tookish blood on her…

"_I'll hate myself after this_" Was her thought when she found herself waking to the door, the suddenly cold handle in her hand almost automatically, and she was quite sure her body was moving that way to prevent her Baggins side from stopping her- Sometimes, most of the times, being part Took guarantied troubles whenever she wanted to be part of it or not "_I'll definitely hate myself after this_"

What was at the other side of the door was not what she was expecting to see…. At all.

"Dwalin" The man- _The dwarf_, she corrected herself when she noticed the details between the two of them and therefore her mistake, bowed to her without breaking eye contact for even a second, almost like it was some kind of challenge from his part, something that Bilbo would gladly end if she weren't standing on her place with her mouth slightly open in what could only be described as complete confusion, trying to process what was in front of her at that moment without making a fool of herself "At your service"

_…__Is that an axe?_


	2. Chapter 2: And then, you had him

**Thank you so much for reading! I love you all! Please leave review to let me know you want me to continue it!**

* * *

That morning, Bilbo could remember, she had had a headache.

As a matter of fact it was the reason why she had gone shooting for it cleared her mind most of the time, allowing the pain to slip away. She could remember it was because of a dream, but not because of a nightmare- She had woken up annoyingly early, the image of blond hair just there at the back of her mind. It had been a really long time since she last dreamed of something as senseless as a faraway place, with a woman she supposed was her mother and people she didn't know, maybe even years, maybe even before her father died, and that was a long time ago.

It had to be a sign of some sort when someone knocked on the door again.

By the time the one who presented himself as Balin showed up, she could feel the aching inside her head, threating to come back and take revenge. Having said that, it would be an understatement to say Bilbo used every bit of the self-control she had learned those last years to not throw something pointy at a chair or at a barrel to calm herself.

"Fili"

"And Kili"

"At your service!"

It sounded worryingly similar.

Even the way they bowed looked worryingly similar, and since there were _two _of them standing in her doorstep instead of one she took it as sign to worry a little bit more than before. The hobbit fought the impulse of looking over her shoulder at the way the pantry was, and consequently to where the other two dwarves were, trying to place the events in an order that would allow some sense into the situation and would give her some kind of explanation since, apparently, no one was going to give her one just yet.

_I would inform the others immediately _

And Lobelia said _Tooks _were disturbers of the peace, only if she knew… Bilbo held back a groan but did close her eyes, mentally cursing Gandalf with all the words she couldn't afford to say out loud being a lady, dressed in skirts or not.

"Are you okay, Mr Boggins?" Bilbo opened her eyes, blinked a few times, and looked back at the two dwarves. Kili was dark haired, and Fili had dark blond hair- It would have been stupid to ask if they were family, for it was obvious and not only for their names, but because of something Bilbo couldn't really point out, maybe something about the way they stood beside each other. They _were _young, not by much but enough to remind Bilbo of two certain someone's, her youngest cousins. Before she knew it a small smile was already making its way to her face.

By all means, she should have said something then.

Bilbo had noticed once or twice how Dwalin and Balin had referred to her as 'lad' or 'laddie', but didn't really care since that pretty much was when she was still worried and annoyed. She was wearing pants after all, so it was normal for them to get confused from time to time, it actually made sense. It never occurred to her that maybe and just maybe they didn't know she was _not _a 'he', so she kind of took a moment to think about it when Kili, who Bilbo assumed was the youngest, smiled at her childishly, almost bouncing on his heels. She could have corrected him nevertheless- Eru, it was a horrible mistake to hold and repeat, even at her standards, and it was the perfect opportunity to fix it. Then she could take the opportunity to clear things with Dwalin and Balin as well. Yes, that's exactly what she could have done at that precise moment.

Bilbo tilted her face. Looked at her pants, and then looked at her 'guests' again.

Her now grimace was half annoyed, and half something else.

"Baggins, Master Kili, _Baggins_"

The other half was most probably amusement.

Enough for her to not care about the 'coulds' or 'would have happened'.

Maybe another time, when they had all ate, when there was a chance of talking to them all at once. Yes, that was a pleasant idea, even more so because it gave her the chance to walk around in pants without bringing unwanted glares in her direction "It's a pleasure to meet you both, do come in" She smiled at them, almost specially to Kili who had beamed at how she had called him, opening the door a little bit wider. But then she stopped, and they stopped with her, looking at her face curiously "But first, mud, please"

"Excuse me?" The brothers blinked together, and the hobbit took it to herself to point down at their boots.

"Mud, off. Now, if you please"

In unison they looked down at their boots, in so much synchronicity that Bilbo laughed softly just while they both tried to basically kick the mud off.

"I told you it was not Boggins" Hissed Fili.

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

Bilbo just chuckled.

As far as she knew, and it was because she heard Balin saying they needed to push further back the dining table if they wanted to get 'everyone' in, there was quite a deal of other guests yet to arrive, and as far as she was concerned she needed to play good host, even if said guests were not invited by her- Hobbits weren't known as welcoming folks for nothing, so after silently placing as many breakable things as possible inside her bedroom besides her bow, Bilbo set herself into taking out food from the pantry. She had wanted to cook something, but Fili had said that as longer as it was edible, they would eat anything raw. Somehow that didn't make her feel completely okay with it, until there was a another knock on the door and several dwarves fell on top of each other just at her feet, startling her in the process, because there was no way she could have cooked something for that amount of people in such a short time.

"Oh my, are you okay, Master Dwarf?" Bilbo stared a little bit open mouthed at the dwarf everyone else had landed on, the one who seemed to be the largest one of them all.

"Don't worry about him, happens quite a lot" The hobbit heard a chuckle as she tried to help the fallen and rather large dwarf to his feet, and when she looked up she found one of many with a hat on top of his head. He blinked, once, twice, three times, and tilted his head slightly to one side, his eyes going down- If Bilbo felt like she was about to have a heart attack, because she was not ready to announce that she was in fact a woman, she didn't show it. But when his eyes landed on her hairy feet a wide grin appeared on his face and his eyes were back on her face "Bofur, at your service. This is my brother Bombur, and my cousin Bifur" He pointed at a dwarf at his right, a broken axe firmly pierced into his skull. Bilbo tried not to stare, and she was quite proud to say that she almost didn't.

"Bilbo Baggins, at yours" She breathed deeply, a large smile on her face, relieve all over her body as she tugged on Bombur's arm. She was being selfish and stupid, she knew it, but there was always a later, of that she was sure.

"Thank you for that" Said Bombur, finally on his feet, showing that like the others he was obviously taller than her. He smiled and then bowed his head a little.

"You have a lovely house, Mr. Baggins" Said the youngest of them all, even younger than Fili and Kili, who had been introduced by his brother Dori as Ori, a book pressed against his chest. He shyly smiled at her, looking down almost immediately when she almost beamed at him. Bilbo could have sworn she saw his neck going pink.

"Why thank you. Do come in please, the others are at the kitchen, I believe you will find your way just fine" Standing back a little, the hobbit smiled at the passing dwarves, listening to their introductions of themselves and giving them her own.

"You are most certainly your mother's child, and your grandfather's grandchild" A deep chuckle and a tall figure caught her attention. Raising an eyebrow, not finding in herself the emotion to feel angry, she half smiled half grinned at the wizard as he slipped inside her smial as the last one, closing the door behind him and turning quickly to face her, an amused smile on his lips "I haven't seen such a lively and complete host since midsummer's eve festival held by the Old Took"

"I have yet to see someone like my grandfather Gandalf, for you know I'm nowhere near being as 'lively' as a complete Took" She chuckled as well, looking over her shoulder at the dwarves as they moved things around her house, shaking her head so ever slightly before turning to look at him again, the eyebrow still raised on her face "Mr. Baggins, Gandalf?"

He actually laughed.

"Quite a refreshing point of view, isn't it?" Bilbo assumed it was the Tookish blood inside of her, but she still wasn't mad or anywhere near angry. Actually, she couldn't do much more than shook her head at him "I thought you would appreciate it, the chance of tasting how it feels to be yourself in front of others without going through the gossip and yelling normally involved, I mean" There was a moment of silence between them, the sound of laughter and erupting echoing through the halls of the house. Looking up, Bilbo smiled at him.

"This is not me" She finally said, trying her hardest to shrug. She knew it didn't work, and she knew that he knew it as well, but neither of them commented on it. Bilbo played with the neck of her shirt and sighed, maybe it was time to break the news to their companions, she had had lots of fun that night just as it was after all. It had been enough, and somehow Bilbo had the feeling that if she let it go a little bit more, it was going to be even sadder after it ended.

"It is" Gandalf didn't give her the chance to say something to that, walking towards the kitchen, but there was nothing she would have said anyway "And you know it, Bilbo"

_Did she, now?_

She tried to remember her childhood, running around The Shire like it was her backyard- At that time, it was, it really was, no one knew it like she did. It had been easy as breathing, but there was more to it than what she could remember; closing her eyes, she tried to recall the earliest thing she could remember, past the light through the leaves of the tress on top of her head, or the earth under her feet as she ran with all her might. Everything she saw was butterflies made out of bright light, a tall man, a pale hand, a long hobbit skirt and a sad grown up. The headache started again, and she was forced to open her eyes once more, sighing.

That was why she hated strange dreams, they didn't make sense.

They made her sad.

"Excuse me, Mr. Baggins?" Bilbo turned her head around, surprising himself at how ironic the situation was; she was already used to be called Mr., as it seems. The dwarf standing by her side smiled shyly at her again, and the hobbit could hear the laughter was more, she could see Kili standing a few feet away, waving something in his hand –_"Mr. Baggins! Why is this dishcloth full of holes?"-_.

"Yes, Ori?"

"What should I do with my plate?"

The image of her mother's plates flying through the air was going to follow Bilbo to her death bed.

* * *

"He's here"

Bilbo knew that you couldn't judge a whole race for just one individual.

For example, you could be as unfortunate as to meet Lobelia as the first hobbit you ever saw in your life, then you would think hobbits as a race with complete lack of empathy or full of selfish thoughts, greedy as nothing else you would ever met in your life, but then you could very well meet someone like Hamfast Gamgee, her gardener, and you would think nothing but good things of hobbits. For dwarves, she could say, you could first meet someone like Ori, who very possibly was the sweetest person she have ever met, and you would think that dwarves are the kindest race on all middle earth.

And then, you had Thorin Oakenshield.

_Oh, where to **start**?_

Maybe with commenting about his absolute lack of manners.

Or how about his sense of complete and absolute authority? She stared as the dwarf entered her house, taking off his coat and basically throwing it over her head, without even looking. Taking a deep breathe she took off the fabric, slowly forming the first glare of the evening, directed towards the dwarf who was talking to Gandalf about how he had lost his why twice –_Twice? **Really?**_-, standing inside her house like it didn't even deserve to be his own, with that he probably thought was grace. To mention his arrogant behavior beyond compare was kind of pointless because if you didn't notice after two or three minutes top of meeting him, then you _certainly _needed to get your head checked by a healer.

"You put a mark on my door?" Bilbo tried her hardest not to glare at Gandalf, but she did a poor job at that. He chuckled and ignored her question.

"Bilbo Baggins, I present to you the leader of this company and King Under the Mountain, Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror"

The jerk of a dwarf half turned around, sending a glance her way. Bilbo preferred to ignore the double take he did before openly stared at her, slowly, but not so slowly, taking a step in her direction. An eyebrow was quickly lifted- She took a moment to think that he looked like Kili, and a little like Fili, so maybe they were family.

"So this is the hobbit"

His observations skill were something to behold, really.

She tried to act like a proper mistress, really - _or master, in that extremely particular and unexpected case_\- but he was making it hard for her, walking around her frame with critical eye, his lips curled in what Bilbo's opinion was something between a snarl, like he was disgusted with what he saw, and a mocking smile, like he was about to make fun exactly of what disgusted him in the first place. To her credit, you need to know that she didn't slap him, even when he stood at an arm's length of her, staring at her face with a raised eyebrow and the_ slightest_ hint of mockery in his eyes and voice.

"He looks more like a grocer than a burglar"

… Well, at least not _physically. _

"Well, you don't act much like a leader yourself- Only an arrogant fool would come inside a house that is not his and act as he owns it, insulting his host in the process"

Okay, granted, she was not the most polite host ever and her father was _certainly _rolling in his grave because of her lack of manners, but he very well deserved her words; even they did nothing but to earn a glare from the dwarf, one that she welcomed with one of hers. And maybe that was not a good idea, _and_ **_maybe_** she shouldn't find that as hilarious as Kili and Fili apparently found it, almost smirking when she caught by the corner of her eye the two brothers snickering behind Thorin. The moment of silence was not an actually moment of silence because of that, and because of Gandalf's contained chuckles.

He continued glaring.

She did the same.

"Thank you for your hospitality"

Then she smiled widely.

"It is my pleasure"

Later, she would find, Kili and Fili had used the word 'suicidal' because from their own perspective it seemed to fit just fine.

"Do you have any experience in weapons, Master Baggins?" Bilbo raised an eyebrow at Thorin who was still staring at her, and it was such a stare that it made her think he was expecting a bad answer, but what answer would that be? They obviously were dwarves, so a 'no' would be disappointing, and she had the feeling that saying 'conkers' as any other hobbit wouldn't be most impressive either- Wait a second, why was she worrying about that in the first place? Shaking her head, she answered.

"Now, why would you like to know?"

"Uncle, look! They are the hobbit's!" Not only Thorin but Bilbo turned around when Kili called, finding said dwarf with her bow and arrows in hands, almost weaving them on top of his head with a surprisingly excited smile on his face. Thorin raised an eyebrow, Bilbo gaped at Kili. How on earth…

"Another archer" The leader nodded, glancing at her once more. Kili beamed again "Very well"

"You want to come and sit with us Bilbo, trust me on this" Gandalf placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him "You are in need of listening to this"

"Of course" More like she wanted to, once for all, hating not knowing things. Before moving from her place she extended the coat on her hands to its owner, smiling 'politely' "After you put this with the other ones"

'Suicidal' indeed.

Gandalf had asked her to listen to what the dwarves had to say, and so she did.

There were lots of things that she couldn't quite understand from what they were saying for it mentioned names she had never heard of, not even from her books- But then again, she had never actually read a book about dwarves, and now that she was sitting with thirteen of them you could say that she was regretting it. One thing she got right, it _was _an extremely serious matter, so much that Thorin had stopped glaring at her with the corner of his eye in order to properly speak and explain what he had in mind. The map placed on top of the table was indeed interesting and her curiosity was so that she could hardly take her eyes off it, sensing that she was probably looking ridiculous doing that, but it was not like she could help it; it _was _the first time she saw a map as strange as that one.

A big blank filled the inside of her mind before she slowly turned her eyes to Gandalf, who _suddenly _seemed to find his other side most interesting, since he didn't look at her even once. That was enough to make Bilbo narrow her eyes, but it didn't take away the nauseating feeling at the bottom of her stomach, recalling over and over again the word that caught her attention with so much… intensity.

"…What beast?" It almost was a whisper, but somehow shut the entire table until Gandalf finally decided to accept that she was talking to him, slowly setting his eyes on hers. But it was Bofur who answered her question.

"Well, that would be a reference to Smaug The terrible, chifiest and greatest calamity of our age" The dwarf was holding a pipe in his hand and the smoke didn't make his hand any less interesting, but nevertheless Bilbo forced herself to look at his face while he spoke with complete ease "Airborne fire breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely found of precious metals"

"Yes, I know what a dragon is just alright, thank you" She half groaned, kind of relived the attention was off her when Ori stood up, stating that he was no afraid. She was way too busy trying to breathe to notice their spirits, or the way they awed at the thick looking key Gandalf took out of his sleeve but a moment after the silence actually started. Half of Bilbo's mind wanted to scream when curiosity started to grow within her, and the other half urged that other voice to shut up in order to give the key complete attention; at least she was not the only one looking at the piece of metal like it was the first key she had seen in her life.

"If there is a key" She heard from somewhere at the other side of the table; Fili "Then there must be a door"

Well, now she knew the observation skills ran in their family.

"These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls" Gandalf pointed to the map on the table, eyes fixed on said runes.

"There's another way in"

"Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it, but there are others in Middle-Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage. But if we're careful and clever, I believe that it can be done" Said the wizard.

"And an excellent one too, I imagine" Mumbled the hobbit from her place, biting her lower lip deep in thought while looking at the map; fire breather giant beast was not even near her idea of an adventure, and quite frankly it had left a chill running down her spine just to think about it. When there was no more conversation around her she looked up slightly, almost jumping in her chair when she found all eyes on her, apparently waiting for something. Truly, it didn't take to be the most intelligent person in the room to know exactly why they were suddenly looking at _her _from all people; besides, Bilbo could _feel _the wizard moving kind of nervously on his sit, and she was quite certain that he was trying not to look at her "...Just exactly on what you got me into, wizard?"

Suddenly, everything made sense. And she was pretty sure Gandalf didn't told her sooner about that… detail in order to get her to hear everything that had to be said- Not that it meant she was happy with that in the slightest.

"I'm hardly a burglar" She managed to say, still glaring at the wizard.

"And I'm afraid I have to agree with the lad. He's not burglar material"

"Aye" Dwalin at her side nodded at his brother's words "The wild is no place for gentle folk, knowing how to fight or not"

"Enough!" Gandalf stood from his place and Bilbo half wished for him to just shut up and sit down again "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is! Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose, and while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of a dwarf, the scent of a hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fourteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins" She winced, for coming through his lips it sounded like he was referring to her father "There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself"

"Does Bilbo even have a say in this?" Hissed the hobbit, but was pretty sure that no one had heard her, or at least that no one paid her any attention.

"You must trust me on this" Added the tall man, looking at Thorin. Bilbo noticed the frown on his face when he turned his head to look at her, and she was a little bit ashamed to admit she almost immediately straightened on her sit on order to not look as small as she really was; if she had just sat quietly and biting her pride back, maybe she wouldn't have looked like a suicidal hobbit. _Again._

"Very well" He said, even though he didn't look happy with the decision _at all_. Bilbo was just starting to open her mouth when he looked at Balin "Give him the contract"

"It's just the usual summary about the pocket expenses, time required, remuneration,  
funeral arrangements, so forth" The old dwarf got to his feet, handing over some papers pressed together. Bilbo blinked a few times in a row, hopping to have heard wrong.

"Funeral agre…" She trailed while taking the contract in her hands after a moment of hesitation, opening just enough to see what seemed like endless lines of hand writing, listing detail after detail in a neat letter. Bilbo was quite tempted to laugh at it and then hand it back like any other sane hobbit would do in her place- Wait, any other _sane _hobbit would have close the door in Dwalin's face when he first appeared what to her was hours ago, so it didn't count. Instead, she read quietly the lines that caught her attention "'the present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...lacerations. Evisceration'…. Incineration?"

"Aye, he'll melt the meat off your bones in a blink"

It was the perfect time to say that she was a woman.

Surely, they wouldn't allow a woman to travel with them, right into the wild.

_I won't do it_.

It was in the tip of her tongue- It had been there when Gandalf came by in the early afternoon, ready to say it again since it seemed that the wizard paid no attention to her previous words. Even if it hurt and would most probably disappoint her mother to no end, Bilbo had to admit that kind of reaction had become a habit of some sort; she had become extremely good at pushing away anything things like that one- The contract in her hand, the mysterious key presented by a wizard, and the company of dwarves sitting at her kitchen. She just had to say it.

She just had to hand over the contract without even give it a glance.

She just had to politely offer them to stay at her house for the night, as the only thing she could possibly do for them.

But, strange enough, the words didn't get out of her mouth automatically. Nor did she shook her head at them, or walk away without saying a word. Instead, she looked at the kitchen again, surprising herself when she found that the seriousness and gravity of the situation and the atmosphere made it hard to try to remember the happy cheers that had taken place at that same room no more than ten minutes ago. She tried to place in Kili's face the same childish hint that she had seen before, but found it impossible. She tried to recall the happy, yet annoying, tone that who she learned was named Bofur had used when putting her plates in a pile, but failed at it.

She tried to feel indifferent.

\- _She gripped the hand she was holding with her much smaller one, listening to the story the one standing by her side was telling. It was a story she had already heard; about greed, about fate, and about a beast. She stared, from the hill they were standing on just besides the line tree she was warned not to cross alone, the half burned half destroyed buildings that together made what she supposed used to be a city. Or at least she tried to look at it. Her small but kin eyes couldn't help but settle themselves on the something that was craved on one side of the mountain, the one that seemed so far away. She could see a destroyed gate, but somehow, she thought it was beautiful nevertheless_-

But she couldn't.

"I…"

She breathed, trying to calm her shaking hands, her eyes blurring for a second. Her hand found the side of her head in a second, like that could contain the slight pain nesting just there. Not looking up, she spoke again.

"I need a moment


	3. Chapter 3: A Baggins of Bag End

She was a Baggins of Bag End, its Mistress.

She was the head of one of the three largest Hobbit Clans in The Shire, the most respectable one.

She was the Thain's eldest grandchild, expected to assist him alongside her uncle Isengrim starting next year so the elder could choose one out of the two of them.

She was supposed to teach some kids, like Hamfast Gamgee's, Samwise, the most basic of studies four times a week.

She was a lady, even if _they_ didn't know.

But over all things, more important than the fact that she was basically holding up the act of the year by wearing pants in front of those dwarves, there was no way she, willingly, would spend even more time with Thorin than she already had.

Even when it was amusing to mock him.

That was the list of the reasons why she should take the contract she was holding her hands and throw it into the fire she had started inside her room. But Bilbo was never good a listening to her own advices when it concerned her sanity, so she just sat there, staring at the paper like it would start speaking to her at any second.

She didn't sit on the armchair near the fire of the living room like she would usually do- She knew that if she did so, Gandalf would soon be at her side, trying to talk her to accept the quest and sign the contract. Bilbo didn't knew the wizard for long, or at least she couldn't remember knowing him, but that didn't mean she was about to let him see how _useless _she truly was, so now there she was, sitting unceremoniously on the very floor of her room. The hobbit didn't knew why he even _proposed _her for something like that, heavens knew that, therefore she couldn't start to think what good her presence would bring to the company now probably standing on her living room- Sure, she was perfectly capable of going unnoticed if she wished to, and she was quite proud of being able of sneaking at others hobbits, even when they were younger and sharper than her, but that didn't make her burglar material.

Not even when she had been quite capable of taking one or two baskets full of berries from Lobelia's garden when she was still at her tweens.

She was a hobbit, _just _a hobbit, and that meant shy personality and desire of a warm home and an enjoyable garden or front porch, not of a journey where she would most probably sleep on the cold and hard forest ground, and wouldn't have the opportunity of not even five meals a day. It didn't meant she had what someone needed to survive the elements, or to fight the dangers of the world outside the borders of The Shire- Eru, the only thing she had used her bow for besides practicing with the target was hunting, and that was it. Bilbo would be damned if she hide at someone's back while an attack, because that would be Thorin reasons to mock her even more, if not demand for her to turn around and walk all the way to her armchair.

She was no fool, she knew it was far away.

"_This is madness_" She shook her head, a hand pressed to the side of it. Bilbo groaned and looked at the piece of paper, directly at the empty space where her signature was destined to go, almost like it was hunting her good will "_How can I even think of the possibility of accepting? It's almost too ridiculous! Who ever heard of a Baggins going out in an adventure?_"

She decided, and it was better to tell them before it was too late and she regretted it more than she allowed herself to admit. But then again, it would not really be a surprise to them, surely none thought from the beginning a hobbit like her was going to accept something like that. Yes, it was better that way. She was going to tell them the truth as well, that was the right thing to do. Maybe it was a good idea to change into a dress.

Walking near the door was probably her second biggest mistake on that day, the first one not running away when Gandalf first stopped in front of her that afternoon.

Her ears, so used to music meant to be danced and meant to be remembered with a smile on her face, caught a tune that she certainly hadn't heard before. It was beautiful, but it was the kind of beauty that she wasn't ready to face- And still, Bilbo found herself opening the door, contract in hand, letting the voices fill her room and her head. Slowly she made her way down the corridor, her kin eyes lingering in the fire light that the open door allowed into the darkness she was standing in; Bilbo stood beside the open door, still in the shadows, closing her eyes.

It was like a memory.

A sad one.

Yes… it was just like one.

-_It was a story she had already heard; about greed, about fate, and about a beast.-_

"_…__It probably is_"

Bilbo sighed.

She was probably going to hate herself for the rest of her life- _If _she lasted that long.

_-She could see a destroyed gate, but somehow, she thought it was beautiful nevertheless_-

**Or maybe not so much**

"Have you come to burn your contract, Halfling?" He looked at her sideways when he noticed her by the door, scowling, but probably because he hadn't noticed her before.

"As a matter of fact, I have not, _Dwarf_" There was silence, but Bilbo was pretty sure she had hear Gandalf laughing "I understand you are sure I'm nowhere near being able of surviving out in the wild" As she expected a glare was there almost instantly, but it didn't matter as much now, for she was sure a few seconds before there was sadness in his face instead of anything else. The kind of sadness that had settle itself on her face when her father passed away, the kind of sadness she could sympathize with, even if she still thought him to be a jerk "So, shall we test it?"

His face was completely priceless.

"Do you have something for me to write with, Master Balin?"

There was a moment of shared whispers and exchange exclamations when, surprised by her question, the dwarf slowly gave her what she asked for. But Thorin's expression while looking at her using the wall as support in order to write was still priceless, his mouth a little bit more open than necessary.

"What?"

He looked at the piece of paper she was handing him like it meant a threat or insult to his person, and truly, if Bilbo were to be in his situation she would act the same way, but that didn't take her amusement away, not even when his mouth turned into a scowl when his eyes caught her signature, and certainly not when his eyes so very slowly went from the paper to her eyes, eye contact apparently being the last resource in his self-appointed job of scaring her off. It didn't work.

"It's going to be a pleasure to travel with you" A small, innocent looking smile crossed her lips- Or at least it was innocent looking in Bilbo's mind, because everything the king could see in that face while his eye twitched a little was something that ridiculously close to challenge, even if he would never ever admit it aloud "_Master_ Oakenshield"

* * *

"Mr. Boggins! Did you check your arrows already? What about your bow? You don't want the string snapping in the middle of shooting, right?"

Startled, Bilbo looked over her shoulder at the dwarf speaking to her, taken completely out of surprise. In her opinion Kili was far too excited in the morning for it being completely normal, and Bilbo found in it the strength to breathe again, shaking ever so slightly her head before turning around, playing with the pack of letters on her hands.

"You already checked them for me Master Kili, _twice_" The hobbit half grinned half smiled as him, walking down the steps from her now closed door to the fence. The narrow path in front of her house was full of ponies, for they were all saddle in her fence- Looking around a little, Bilbo realized hers was not so far away from her. Kili walked almost close to her side, seeming by all means like a small kid waiting for a praise; actually, if she hadn't almost had a heart attack earlier that morning when she saw the young dwarf almost playing with her arrows, she would have gave it to him. Honestly, kids this days, playing with dangerous things.

"He's just excited to have another archer in the company" Fili looked up from his pony, grinning at Bilbo from the other side of the fence as she drew closer to it "And you shouldn't call him like that, Mr. Baggins, you'll only make his ego bigger, and while you are at that you can call me just by my name as well" Somehow she had the feeling he would have winked if he knew she was a female- Disturbing thought.

"Not true!" Kili pouted, and once more the hobbit almost couldn't hold a chuckle. Blinking, the young dwarf looked at her with big eyes, still half pouting "But you don't _have _to call me like that, you know"

"I'm glad to meet another archer as well, Kili" She offered him a smile, turning around with a sigh and a hand up, rubbing her eyes. She wasn't tired per se, but she was unsettled- Stupid dreams, it was always their fault.

"You seem to have stayed up until late, my friend" It wasn't a surprise to find Gandalf standing next to her mail box.

"I wrote to my grandfather in hopes he doesn't think I ran away, and I wrote to my gardener, he will take care of Lobelia, so I don't really have to worry about a major sale made out of my possessions" Bilbo went through the letters once more, not noticing the slight wrinkles on the paper for doing that exact same thing over the fifth time "I did so too with my Baggins Family. Oh, I wrote to a couple of my cousins as well, you remember Primula's kids? They are such lovely kids- May her and Bungo's soul rest in peace. But do you think I should have said something directly to my grandmother from my father's side instead of letting my uncles tell her? I'll be far enough to not hear her screaming when she finds out; but then again, maybe she'll even get somebody to drag me back by my feet"

"If I didn't know better Bilbo Baggins, I'd say you are rambling"

She stopped dead on her tracks, her head almost hanging from her shoulders and her hands on the fence that she had just opened. A huff was enough to make her hump into her place, and Bilbo noticed for the first time that a pony's face was just besides her own, breathing heavily. Smiling shakily, the hobbit patted the animal on what she supposed was the nose.

"A Baggins never rambles, Gandalf" The hobbit took a deep breathe, grinning shakily, eyeing the letters once more "But I guess a Took does, sometimes" She didn't need to look up to know that Gandalf was smiling at that, but she did it anyway. He was almost beaming. She managed to smile a little back before grimacing; the wizard frowned a little.

"Bilbo?"

"You know Gandalf, I have the feeling you can't promise me I will come back"

"If you do, you will not be the same as you are now" His face was serious, but then it softened and a spark of amusement appeared in his eyes so fast that Bilbo resisted the urge of rolling her eyes at it "And that's exactly why I think is most appropriate for you to come"

"Very well" She felt lighter and it was nice, nice enough for her to grimace at her own stupidity. Hadn't she learned long ago that does dreams were nothing more than annoying little things that made her paranoid? Perhaps a long journey that would surely tire her so much she was going to sleep like a rock was just what she needed. Snorting, she shook her head. Maybe that was not exactly the best of things to wish for.

"Have you finished your business, Master Baggins?"

Like for the fourth time that morning, Bilbo stopped death on her feet. Unfortunately, Thorin was just one pony at her right, so it was not much time until she had to meet his eyes, dragging hers all the way. He was staring at her again and this time Bilbo had to fight the urge to tough her face, was something there? She had made extra sure she looked like a male hobbit that morning, even having prepared the red coat that once belonged to her father, but those eyes on her person just made her unsettle. It was like he _knew _something was not _quite _right about her. Or maybe it was something else? But what could be? Hopefully he wouldn't feel the need to point it out aloud and she was never going to found out.

**Hopefully enough…**

"Almost" She mentally cursed herself because of how pathetic her voice had sounded, lifting the pack of letters on her hand.

He nodded once, and turned his head around almost sharply.

"We leave in a couple of minutes, be quick"

And so they did.

It's our duty to inform that Bilbo almost kicked Kili in the head when he basically threw her over her pony when Bilbo gave it a second thought and said she wanted to go by foot.

Kili never looked at her feet the same way again.

* * *

There was, in basic and much simpler terms than the ones Gandalf used to explain it when he just randomly decided to, a voice inside most people's head.

Apparently it was meant to point out the stupid things that would stand in your way through life, trying to avoid them and keep their owners alive most of the time. It was meant to be there when making difficult and life changing decisions so you wouldn't end up regretting it too much in the future, something like a guardian standing always at your side and glaring at you over your shoulder with the mission of saving your lower back, mostly from yourself. It was a quite useful thing, mind you, quite helpful and lasting; they may or may not be the wisest, but they meant nothing but good to their host- You could see it as a way of preserving themselves as well, so it was just normal for it to be so life saver some times.

Bilbo Baggins most certainly didn't have one of those.

And it was almost clear that Gandalf had decided to explain that small fact aloud for her to realize it on her own.

Sure, she had a voice inside her head just all right, but since it sounded worryingly similar to her Tookish side of her family tree and it was kind of dangerous to follow it most of the time- **_Is our duty to point out that was the voice whispering into her ear when she was signing the contract… not that she would ever admit it aloud to the company of dwarves and a wizard she was travelling with_**\- Bilbo noticed that most of the time it didn't speak or tried to avoid any actions from her part, letting her be, so she didn't have the habit of relying on it for anything.

So it was pretty ridiculous she didn't realize the kind of position she was in until it was too late and they passed Bree just a day after getting there. Inside Thorin's mind it was probable that the only reason they even stopped was because they needed to get supplies.

When Gandalf told her that it would be a most wonderful idea to keep hiding the fact that she was a woman, since she probably wouldn't be allowed to go in the first place if they found the truth, she should have had to, even if it was just for a second, think of it as an absolutely bad sign. She figured that since they already saw her as an almost useless male she should very well keep it that way; after all, she didn't need more glared from the oh so mighty leader, so maybe and just maybe she needed to let the situation be.

The little voice inside her head was more than happy to agree with her decision.

"_They… came out alive_" Bilbo laid on her side, being pretty close to staring wide eyed as the flies made their way out of Gloin's mouthly almost too smoothly, like it was actually normal. She waited for the dwarf to move to or to do something that could meant he felt them inside his body, but there was nothing besides another set of strong snores. The hobbit narrowed her eyes so to see in the dark, blinking several times as little almost went inside his mouth one more time "_…Interesting_" After what probably was a minute or two of just staring at nothing the hobbit accepted that sleep was not going to get to her anytime soon, no matter how tired, so she raised from her spot on the hard ground.

Bilbo stopped, wincing a little as her legs were a great reminder of how sore she was.

Apparently all the running she had done as a child didn't help much when it came to an actual 'adventure', if you could call ridding all day and barely stopping for eating an adventure- She knew she shouldn't be complaining since they were walking straight into a giant lizard's chamber, and so the peace should be welcomed. Besides, she had done nothing more than to ride besides Gandalf and help in whatever she could at the camp; her part of the job was miles away from there, but doing basically nothing in the mid time was kind of sad.

"Hello Myrtle, there's a good girl" Greeted the hobbit, petting her pony's nose a little bit, smiling slightly to herself. She had been given the freedom of naming her, and in all truths Bilbo was secretly happy she was not the only female in the company, even when the other one was an animal. Peeking over her shoulder the hobbit took an apple out of her near pack, cautious so no one would see what she was doing "It's going to be our little secret, just don't tell anyone"

That was when the howling started.

-_The horse was fast, but she was sitting between the rider and the reins and she could see over the blonde's shoulder, right to the place he was taking her away from. There were arrows flying through the clearing of the forest and even if it was for a second Bilbo could see the large and menacing teeth of one of the creatures that seconds before had almost jumped on top of her, coming out of nowhere and threating her life. Her back hurt, her legs hurt, and her chest hurt, but Bilbo couldn't bring herself to close her eyes; she knew that even if she did, she would still hear the howl of the creature next to her ear_-

She was suicidal enough to sign in an adventure that would sooner or later lead her to a fire breathing giant lizard, but that didn't mean her instinct didn't know what to be afraid of out in the wild. Besides, the dreams made her paranoid, always the stupid and unsettling dreams.

Bilbo looked at the other side of the forest, trying in vain to see something in the dark with what little moonlight she could use, but, as expected, she saw absolutely nothing. After a little while she took a deep dissimulated breathe, turning around and sitting in front of the fire as slowly as possible, feeling as if her legs were going to stop working at any minute. Hobbits were not fit for ridding, and even if it was one of the things that had always intrigued her, she had had enough to satisfy her curiosity- Ori, who had been ridding close to her the past days, had said the pain would last couple of days, providing that he was not found of riding either; he had blushed shortly after and walked to where his brothers were.

She sure hoped he was right.

It didn't take long for her to realize the eyes on her frame, looking up and finding both Fili and Kili staring from the other side of the fire, the youngest tilting his face to one side with a somehow intrigued look; Bilbo had to constantly remind herself of the age standards of the two races, so therefore he was not as young as she thought he was. After a second or two, the black haired dwarf spoke.

"Aren't you scared?"

"_You have absolutely no idea_"

Mind you, she was not about to say that aloud, she could already feel Thorin's glare on her back just alright thank you, knowing that he had heard his nephew's question as well, and hell, he was probably waiting for an answer. It would be a lie to say that he had been as annoying as she had prepared herself for, for he settled himself with sending a few glares in her direction during the day; obviously enough he would recognize a chance of pointing out how unfitting she was for the quest even when he was not included in the conversation, like the times when he did speak to her general direction just to warn they would not tolerate being slowed by her ineptitude.

But she did tried to be honest.

"I can't say I am not" Bilbo nodded slowly, hugging her knees against her chest, maybe just needing to feel as cozy as she would have felt sitting by the fire of her house. As far as she could tell it didn't work the same way.

"Then why don't you ask about it?" This time was Fili who raised an eyebrow at her words, or maybe at her actions "Don't think you know what was"

"Whatever is out there" She gestured to the forest around them and the general direction of the howling, feeling a chill running down her spine with almost fierce intensity when she remembered the glimpse of sharpened teeth "I do know it's dangerous, therefore I don't want to know anything else" Bilbo shrugged "Maybe that way I'll be able to sleep tonight"

There was a moment of silence where the only thing that could actually be heard was the constant squeak of the fire. Bilbo thought of maybe going back to 'bed' then, but honestly she didn't feel sleep catching up with her just yet, so there was not really other option than to sit there- or at least that was what she thought until the two brothers started to speak to her again… well, she was not completely sure about that either.

"Master Baggins most certainly does not want to see an orc up close, don't you think so?" Fili grinned at his brother, playing with a knife on his hand, probably not even worried that the sharp edge was basically against the skin of his palm. The hobbit would have rolled her eyes, really, she would have done so if the howling had not started again, startling her a little bit more this time. Guess that was the encouraging they needed to keep with their conversation.

"You are right" Kili nodded, a poor imitation of a serious expression on his face "Horrible, putrid-smelling things" He snickered after a second, but tried to cover it with a cough. What he couldn't cover it in time the amused smile made its way to his face "But it would be good if we actually get to face them, isn't it right, Fili? I mean, if we kill them on the spot, it would be less to worry about in our journey"

**Extremely funny indeed. **

"Do you think of this as funny?"

She would have preferred to ignore the fact that he existed.

Well, not to that point, it would be unfair and cruel and mean as all the things he had said to her, and maybe sometimes he deserved it, but that was not one of those times just yet, so Bilbo lifted her eyes from the floor until they found the dark figure of Thorin standing at the edge of the light of the fire, a scold on his face, and a heavy look on his eyes; for what seemed the first time since the journey begun that look was not sent in her direction, buy instead was placed on top of the two brothers, who suddenly forgot how to smile. In fact the hobbit was pretty sure for a second they had forgotten how to breathe, for they were awfully still.

"You think a night raid by orcs is a joke?" He continued, and she was pretty sure she saw Kili's lips shaking a little, like she was choking with words since Fili was not likely to say something at that, because he was even more still than him.

"W-We…" He took a deep breath, not daring to close his eyes" "We are sorry…We meant nothing by it"

"No, you didn't" If he had shook his head along with those words, or had said them in a slightly less hard tone it would have been millions of times better, but since he didn't even seem to blink the situation kept being almost suffocating. Bilbo could have sworn to notice his eyes going far away for a second, but it was too short to actually count it as possible. And if it was even more possible, his nephews looked even worse "You know nothing of the world"

The words were out of her mouth before she could help it.

"They already said they were sorry" Her voice seemed nothing but a whisper to her own ears, but even she knew it was louder than that. It was enough to catch the brothers attentions, for the two of the stared at her with lips tightly pressed into a line, resembling the statues that some of her books described. Maybe it was because the pain of her legs dulled the rest of her body that she was not really controlling what rolled out of her tongue, and hopefully, it would be nothing more than the truth "Isn't that enough?"

She should have wondered why the voice inside her head cheered.

Bilbo almost wished the howling to start again so the silence wouldn't be as awkward as it was. And she could swear even the snores had lower themselves on propose. She could certainly feel Gandalf's eyes on her frame from where he sat at the edge of the forest, and she looked at his direction briefly before looking at the oh-so-called-king again, finding to her utter horror that he was now looking in her direction.

**Joy**

"They are not kids anymore, they need to learn how to stop acting and talking like one, Master Baggins" His voice was not low but he didn't need to scream for his words to have that strong and impressively doubtless impact that he was having right now- Bilbo could feel the knot in her stomach growing by the second, making her nauseous. But by some unexplainable reason she just broke the eye contact for a second before almost automatically staring at him again, lips firmly closed into a thin line; Thorin's eyes were dead serious and heavy, but she had not seen a day when he didn't look at her like that, so now she was quite thankful for all that 'training' "If a sorry could solve everything then wars wouldn't be necessary. This is not a game, even if _you_ think of it as one"

"This is no game indeed, Master Oakenshield, this is far more important to you than that, and to them as well, they wouldn't be here if they did take it as game. I know _I _would _not _be here if that was the case"

He was going to snap at her, of that she was sure.

And so Bilbo prepared herself the same way she prepared her ears and her silverware when Lobelia Sackville Baggins was sure to bring one of her tantrums to her door; the hobbit took a deep breathe, sending her shoulders back slightly, maintaining her chin at a not so low level so it wouldn't look like a challenge. It was almost like dealing with a wild animal. But the bite -or the words, in this situation- did not come.

Nothing came out of his mouth, actually.

But that didn't exactly worry her. No what worried her was how he was looking at her.

He was not staring, surprisingly enough he was not glaring, but just… looking, like there truly was something to look at her for; he was not amused, not like Fili or like Kili, he was not annoyed like most of the time- Hell, he wasn't even _brooding_, he was _just __**looking. **_It would have been ridiculous to say he was dazed, even when it _was _the first thing that came to her mind, but then she couldn't help but think that he looked bemused

"_…__Is that amusement?_"

But then as quickly as it had come it was gone. He was glaring again, then he snorted. Bilbo prepared herself.

And then he _turned around _and_ walked away. _

**What the hell?**

Balin was the only one who dared to break the silence, and thankfully it was not long after the leader walked away, probably trying to lift the tension from their shoulders. She thought that it was almost pointless but she appreciated the sentiment, even more because she needed the time to slow the strong beats of her heart. She couldn't help but think that he was _so _close to figure out what she was hiding.

**No, I don't think is that. **

_Eh?_

**Never mind…**

"Don't mind him, laddie" He did shook his head and she was pretty sure she was the only one looking at his face now. She didn't need to glance around to know the two brothers were most likely looking at the fire, trying to calm down. Truthfully, she didn't blame them "Thorin has more cause than most to hate orcs"

At some point of his story she did feel guilty for what she had said to him but didn't say a word about it. She actually didn't speak after Baling finished, perceiving the atmosphere was slowly going back to normality- At least she could breathe down, and her ears were not dull anymore; she could hear the life inside the forest, the squeaking of the fire, and her own heartbeat, this time a little bit slower. Bilbo certainly didn't dare to look at Thorin again, fearing that she wouldn't be able of holding her own against him once more that night.

There was, however, one thing she was sure of.

She was not going to get any sleep that night.


	4. Chapter 4: Rain

-_She could hear the rain but she couldn't see where it came from; looking around, she wondered if she was the only one who had heard it, seeing how the hand braiding her curly and short hair had not stopped for even a second. Staring down at the book in her small hands a drop fell on her nose, but when she looked up, the only thing she could see was tree branches and leaves-_

"Do hobbits like rain?"

Bilbo was not about to admit aloud the fact that she almost fell from the saddle when the vice came, in her opinion, out of nowhere, breaking her daze and bringing her back to reality. In her defense she had to say that she was way too busy trying not to _breathe _the water that came down from the poring sky.

Truth to be told, she was already expecting the bombarding of questions that was sure to come sooner or later, and it was surprising it took so long giving she apparently was the first hobbit the company ever met, with the obvious exception of Gandalf. And speaking of which, Bilbo glared at the wizard's back, thinking that maybe he had known she was going to be interrogated at that moment, because it would explain how amused he had looked when he suddenly decided to leave her side to go to Thorin's, probably knowing that there was no way she would get near the leader voluntarily.

So when she looked at her right, blinking the raindrops off her eyes even if it didn't make that big of a difference since they were replaced immediately, finding Kili ridding by her side looking sheepish and, surprisingly enough, with Fili nowhere near him but at the head of the group, that she say that she was confused but yet curious of what he was going to ask would be an understatement; since the morning the younger brother had been acting strange, meaning that when the hobbit turned her head around when she felt someone was looking at her and found that it was Kili, the dwarf looked away immediately. Strange indeed.

But she answered anyway.

"Well… We don't like it more than you do… I guess" She shrugged, holding tightly the saddle, knowing that, even if she wanted to, she couldn't go by foot with that weather. Somehow Bilbo felt that conversation was as random as it was going to get, but at the same time she felt it was the only thing she was going to get to do that day.

"We don't precisely mind it"

She looked at Bofur who was riding just in front of her; the dwarf was looking at his pipe, trying to actually get it to burn. She grimaced a little at that, thinking of how…normal that kind of things seemed to the rest of the people around her.

"Yes, I have noticed that"

Truly, she wasn't exactly even close to be fond of it.

Rain was cold and wet.

And it gave her a headache because it was nostalgic, and she had strange thoughts when she saw it, or when she felt it. There, on the tip of her nose, a small tingle could be felt, but Bilbo tried to shrug it off by reminded herself of one small detail- At that moment the rain was as annoying as Lobelia.

She was soaking wet and that itself was uncomfortable, her dripping hair didn't help either- Nevertheless, Bilbo tried to ignore how almost well prepared she had been regarding clothes, almost like she had known what kind of coat and clothes to bring, the only tiny detail being not having something to cover her head with. Looking up at the sky she wished it wouldn't be long before they saw the sun again, and hopefully enough she was going to be able to keep the optimism for most part of the journey. As she said before, _hopefully. _

You could say that she was so concentrated thinking that she didn't notice until the last moment how it was not cold on top of her head anymore, and that the parts of her skin that had been directly in contact with the elements were now covered. Bringing a hand up the hobbit discovered a cloak poorly placed on top of her shoulders, a hood brought up to cover her head and half her forehead- Looking at her side Bilbo found Kili trying to arrange the cloak that obviously belonged to him, completely aware of how the water came like rivers down his face.

"...Isn't this yours?" After the words left her mouth she kind of wanted to smack her head into a tree or some rock; of course it was his, but it had taken her by surprise to receive it. He didn't seem to find the question strange thought, for, thankfully, he didn't laugh at her nor did he look at her in a mocking way, like the night before.

"You just seem to need it more than I do" He shrugged while lifting one of his hands at his face, clearly trying to keep the water off his eyes. It was kind of amusing, actually, how carefree he seemed to be. The hobbit shook her head, bringing the hood and the fabric down after a second, trying to convince herself she was not going to fall from the saddle if she did that.

"You still need it"

"Not really"

It was official that Bilbo didn't understand the situation.

But then she saw it. The small shrug of his shoulders was more like the way a kid acted while being scolded, the twitch on his mouth was nervous, tense, and she could tell he was not about to make eye contact with her- Those were signs that she knew very well thanks to her youngest cousins after a scolding, when guilt started to fill their little chests until they were practically begging to be forgiven.

He was trying to say sorry, probably for the night before.

….You couldn't say she was surprised at how dwarves chose gestures over words in that kind of matters.

"Then, I appreciate it" She smiled, but while taking the whole piece of clothing of her shoulders and placing it in front of her legs on the saddle, making sure with a hand on it that it wouldn't slip to the floor with Myrtle's movements "But this is hardly fair" He opened his mouth again.

"But-"

"Thank you, though. It was...really nice of you"

It was the first time someone from the company actually approached her- Like Thorin, no one has really paid her much mind, and since she had something ladylike really deep inside her, having manners was maybe what she needed right now. Giving him a nervous smile, Bilbo waited for the young dwarf to react, and since at first he just stared at her she really thought he was not going to do much. After a second, though, he smiled back.

"You are welcome, master Boggins"

"Baggins, master Dwarf, _Baggins_"

Bilbo was pretty sure she felt a glare on her from the front of the company when Kili laughed cheerfully, probably from a blue eyed dwarf with an awful personality. So, for the first time since it started, she was thankful the rain was almost too thick.

The voice inside her head laughed along with Kili.

* * *

It was very much like a nightmare, but while being awake.

Don't misunderstand her, Bilbo wished she didn't know it was a nightmare, so at least the illusion that she was not in such a bad position wouldn't brother her for a little bit more, even if it was until there was no other option but to accept that it was, in fact, real.

Because, well, Bilbo already knew it beforehand; with the kind of arrogant and narcissistic personality Thorin had apparently since birth, he could get the worst out of most of people in the middle of a conversation no matter how civilized they tried to act, and she would not be surprised at all to hear in the future, _if_ they _happened_ to get rid of the dragon and live to tell the tale, that his kingdom had gone to war because of his stupid temperament and his mean mouth besides his incapacity of having empathy towards someone that was not his kin.

But that situation was just ridiculous.

"Gandalf, where are you going?"

"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense!"

For some reason she couldn't quite understand at the moment, Bilbo gulped.

"And who's that?"

"Myself, mister Baggins! I've had enough of dwarves for one day!"

_Then why are you leaving me behind!?_

In her opinion, that was an incredibly good question.

She stared open mouthed as the wizard soon disappeared into the wild, leaving nothing but a group of nosy dwarves and a really shaken Bilbo behind- It is our obligation to point out how at that moment said hobbit's brain was quite busy trying to decide between crying our screaming and pulling her hair out, but since none of them seemed to fit the situation she was left to just stand there, gaping at the same spot time after time, not quite sure of what to do now. The only thing with sense she could come up at that moment was to mechanically look at Thorin, wishing that he would say something. Anything at all.

He didn't, even if he did met her eyes for a second.

"Com one Bombur, we are hungry"

And with that, it was like nothing happened at all. The rest of the company started to move in different directions, both Fili and Kili talking between them about something apparently extremely funny as they laughed, walking past her. Bilbo stood there with her feet almost glued to the ground, now _really _not knowing what to do at the moment.

Or with her life, for that matter.

"Is he even going to come back?" She mumbled under her breath, and almost jumped out of her skin when an arm landed on her shoulders. Bilbo found Bofur grinning down at her, and she managed not to groan at his cheerfulness.

"Don't worry lad, he's going to be okay" The dwarf laughed. The hobbit glared once more in the direction the wizard walked away "I dare to say than he has even more possibilities of staying unharmed by the end of the night than us" If she had not turned her head at that moment she wouldn't have noticed how he suddenly frowned, his mouth pressed into a thin line; Bofur focused on the hand he had on her shoulder, patting the same place a couple more times before tilting his face to one side, like he was now a little bit amused by something, shaking his head in the progress- That just confused her even more. After a second he looked down again, meeting Bilbo's eyes "You should eat more, even your shoulders are rather thin"

She actually felt her heart stopping, and when it started to beat again it was in a slow and painful motion.

Her eyes were wide with surprise, and she was thankful he was again looking at her shoulder. Although she didn't like it she had used their ignorance regarding her race for her good, hiding her frame with baggy clothes, but there were things she just couldn't hide no matter what, like for example the size of her bones or her hands. The word awkward couldn't even start to describe how it would be to explain the situation if they happened to find out.

….Yes, that certainly would not be nice.

Coming back to reality Bilbo noted the dwarf looking at her with a raised eyebrow, and she realized she had been far too quiet for it not to be suspicious, and she almost literally chocked with her own words. At least she could manage to nod her head once.

"Y-Yes, I-I…. I will" She cleared her throat, hoping it wouldn't be much too feminine, but how you try to hide that kind of things? But Bofur seemed to buy it just fine, patting her shoulder reassuringly once more before walking to the other side of the camp, where his brother was already putting things into place in order to make dinner- Since she didn't have siblings herself but lots of cousins instead, Bilbo couldn't quite imagine how it was to love someone the same way you would love your own parents. It was, by far, a feeling that she had already forgotten.

"It seems you are the only one I have left, Myrtle" Mumbled the hobbit to the pony, petting her nose; Myrtle was bigger than the dog Bilbo had pictured having before starting the journey, but it would do for the time being.

It was not long until something else startled her.

"Master Baggins"

Bilbo took a deep breath and turned around, surprise rising inside her chest when she came to face Bombur.

Now that was interesting.

But if she really thought about it, that he was actually talking to her was not really _that_ strange; his cousin had walked away from where she was standing just mere seconds ago, and if they were any similar then Bombur wouldn't need much effort on trying to be as friendly as Bofur, even when Bilbo had the feeling no one could be more friendly than said dwarf. Maybe the only exception was Kili, who had been dragged by his brother while Fili said something close to "Is not proper to monopolize the hobbit, little brother" and she wasn't sure how they stopped wrestling on the ground after that.

Oh, right, Thorin had a said on that, why it didn't surprise her?

"Are you okay, Master Baggins?" What got her out of her own mind was Bombur's voice, and as she blinked Bilbo realized she had dozen off at some point. The hobbit almost sighed at how stupid she probably looked at that moment, but instead of an amused look or a teasing expression there was a little bit of concern on his face. Blinking, Bilbo tilted her head to one side as slightly as possible.

"Oh, I am, sorry for that" She shook her head a little, feeling heat going up to her cheeks "Is there something you wanted to tell me, Mister Bombur?" He seemed convinced with her words, and a small smile appeared on his face.

"Gandalf had told us a few things about hobbits before, and between those small details he commented how much your race is found of good food" Bilbo, now truly surprised by what she was hearing and by the genuine expression the dwarf was using at that moment, nodded at his words after a few short seconds, what the dwarf took as a sign to continue- For the first time in the past weeks she wondered just _what _Gandalf had been telling the dwarves about hobbits "So I was wondering if you would like to help me with tonight's meal? Is not a though chore, but it certainly would be easier and probably tastier if two work on it instead of one"

It took the hobbit a moment to process what he had just said, and her eyes went wide after that. She had definitely not expected something like that; it didn't take to be a genius to notice how she stood out of the company, mostly because she didn't know what to do with her own time when they were left to just set for the night or for lunch, so to hear something like that was beyond pleasant. And maybe it was childish of her to say that it was lovely to give someone a wide smile after so long time.

"I would love to, Mister Bombur"

To actually do something while the others set up camp was completely different to just standing there, awkwardly glazing at everyone else's jobs, and the fact that she had spent that time cooking was just great. She had not had the chance to cook since the night the company of dwarves and the wizard appeared on her doorstep, completely moving her ground, and it felt nice to be able to let go like that after what to her seemed a really long time- And to do it besides someone as skilled as Bombur was just as nice. Despite his big frame the dwarf was quick with his moves when it came down to cut whatever there was in need to be cut, and careful when he discussed with her the best way of mixing the ingredients. He proved to be more than an excellent cooking companion, even more than any hobbit she had spent her time with.

Night came quickly, or maybe it was because she had been too busy arguing with Bombur regarding the species they were to use for the stew, and by the time she looked up from the finished food stars could be seen over her head. For the first time since she left The Shire Bilbo smiled a little, not because of something specific but just for the sake of doing so. She could only sigh close to contently.

But there was something still bugging at her.

"He's been gone a long time" She mumbled under her breathe, gazing at the dark horizon even if it was so dark she could not see the forest anymore. Turning around, she walked towards the fire and consequently towards Bombur and Bofur, who were serving the food in wooden bowls.

"Who?" Bofur didn't look up from his shore.

"Gandalf"

"He's a wizard! He does as he chooses" He chuckled after a moment, leaving the wooden spoon and turning to her "Here, take this to the lads"

"Master Baggins worked hard on this as well, you should be the one doing it" Scolded Bombur from behind, serving himself a portion of the food. Bofur opened his mouth, apparently considering his cousin's words, but she was quick to interrupt whatever was going to leave it.

"Is no problem at all" She smiled a little, pleased that she was finally able to do something even if it was little.

Bilbo quickly made her way to where Kili and Fili were. She shivered a little, feeling the cold of the night trying to get inside her body since she was not near a fire anymore, but the hobbit kept walking anyway, trying to ignore the small shivers going down her shoulders. Finally she found Fili and Kili with her eyes, the two of them standing side by side and giving her their back- Walking between them, she smiled again.

"Here, enjoy" She stretched her hands to her, but they did not make a move to take them, or to look at her for that matter. Frowning in confusion Bilbo looked at the two of them a couple of times before opening her mouth, finding the situation quite odd- Normally, the two brothers would jump at the mere thought of food, but now it was they didn't even knew it was there "What's the matter?"

"We are supposed to be looking after the ponies" Mumbled Kili, almost like he was not even talking to her but to himself, his eyes not moving from what he was looking.

"Only we've encountered a slight… problem" Fili grimaced at his own words, and if she didn't know better she would have said he had winced as well "We had sixteen, and now there's… fourteen" Bilbo had wanted not to turn and see whatever they were staring at, but since lately her Tookish side had got the worst out of her the hobbit soon found herself looking at roots dangerously sticking out of the ground, and it took her a second to realize they had been, in fact, ripped out of the ground along with everything of the tree including branches and leaves.

"A slight problem…" She stared at the fallen tree, feeling a knot growing inside her stomach, gripping the bowls in her hands even tighter- There was something obviously bad about it, therefore it made the situation both worrying and something for her to be scared about. Clearing her voice and her head at the same time, she blinked back whatever nonsense she was about to say and stared at the tree again"…A slight and possibly quite dangerous problem"

"Daisy and Bongo are missing" Informed the youngest dwarf, walking to where a couple of the rest of the ponies were standing. For a moment Bilbo stood in her place, almost frozen, trying to process the rest of the information before moving forwards, not really sure what she was doing or what she was approaching, just feeling the need of movement.

"As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it" Commented the blond brother, walking besides the tree with Bilbo at his heels- She almost snorted at his words, and if she had not been as confused as she was now she most probably would have done just that.

"I don't think I'm going to figure out much more than what you have already. Whatever did this" She motioned towards the tree by her side with the hand that still held one of the bowls "Is big and dangerous"

"Our thoughts exactly" Sighed the dwarf.

"There's a light!" Alerted Kili, his body low before darting to the trees not far from them, Fili fast on his heels. Signing deeply and feeling like the first time she opened her door for Dwalin, Bilbo stumbled her way to the two brothers with her heart pounding loudly on her ears, but before she could make it as far as them a loud crash was heard through the woods, literally making her jump to where the two brothers were now standing, equally serious expressions on both their faces. Breathing almost too loudly the hobbit wondered just how they managed to hold their ground a situation as random as that one.

"What was that!?" There was a light deeper in the woods, and the sound of something like voices coming from there, but it was not a type of voice she was used to.

"Trolls" Grunted Kili, and moving once more, he ran forwards besides his brothers.

_Then why are you going towards them!?_

She found herself following them nevertheless.

And this time she had a perfect opportunity of looking at what had made such a strong noise; Looking at the giant green thing moving towards the fire while she looked for a place to hide, Bilbo thought that maybe it would have been a good idea to get help from the others, but the camp was already too far and the situation itself was getting worse by the minute- Never she thought she would be standing this close to something taller than her, even more than man. Peking over the rock she was using for hiding, the hobbit got a glimpse of the two other ponies tucked under his -_it's_\- arms, and curiously enough one of them was sandy colored, very similar to…

_Oh._

"They got Myrtle!" She whispered, a horrified expression crossing her face while she stumbled to where the two brothers were standing. Oh goodness, no!

"They are slow, I think we should act before they actually start to eat them" Fili said besides her.

"And I think while they plan how to do just that, we need to warn your uncle"

"There's no need of worrying him" The youngest one dismissed with a wave of his hand without looking at her, a light hint of nervousness in his voice and body language even when there definitely was concentration, but Bilbo thought that Kili had just meant something more similar to 'there's no need of making him angry with us again', and for that she couldn't actually blame either of them. Looking at Fili, she noticed he was nervous as well, and that for some reason made her conscious of her own nervousness tickling inside her stomach and head, making the hobbit a little bit dizzy.

"Then we should really do something…" And maybe it was because she was too busy trying to not throw up that she didn't notice until the last minute the look Kili was sending her from his position until she looked down at him, raising an eyebrow in confusion. Something extremely deep inside her whispered that maybe it was not that late for running in the other direction.

"Yes, you should!" He stood, a hand on her back in a gesture that she supposed was meant to be reassuring, and she was pretty sure his quick speech was to shut the words that were already on her mouth. Bilbo tried with all her might to refuse the absurd idea of a hobbit like her getting near Trolls, but apparently making her face a dragon was not enough for the two brothers were already grinning at both her sides, not giving her a chance to speak "It's perfectly safe! I already told you, they are really slow. Besides, they are really stupid as well! And you are so small they'll _never_ see you!" As if that was going to shadow anytime soon the fact they were the size of trees "We'll be right behind you"

She really wanted to say that was not reassuring at all, since they were the ones that managed to lose _ponies _in the first place.

Said ponies' noises were getting louder and louder, most probably realizing they were in great danger and wanted to get out of there; Bilbo knew she wanted the same thing as well. But the difference was that she actually had a chance to do it, and they didn't, and if she thought about it she would never hear the end of it if Thorin knew she didn't even try to bring back the ponies in one piece- The Bilbo had the impression he didn't fancy walking and tiring the company more than she did.

Signing, Bilbo looked at the fire once more.

**_I'm sure it's going to be fun. _**

_Shut up. _

"Lately I've found myself doing lots of things I'll regret sooner or later" Bilbo basically spoke because she needed to find a way of shutting the little voice at the back of her head, practically cheering for what she was about to do- Some part of her, the side that had got the worst of her the night she decided to go out in that quest, reminded the hobbit that was not what she signed for, but since at the moment she couldn't remember what specifications were in that contract Bilbo would try her best to ignore it. Besides, she had the feeling the brothers were not going to let her get away from all that trouble even if she wanted to in the first place- They were already getting the bowls out of her hands "I guess one more wouldn't make a big difference"

Close to three minutes after that Bilbo realized it was a big difference.

An _extremel_y big one.

Three of them, actually.

"Mutton yesterday, mutton today. And blimey, if it don't look like mutton again tomorrow"

"Quit your gripping. These ain't sheep! These is west nags!

"Oh, I don't like horse! I never have. Not enough fat on them"

_Lovely conversation, really._

Standing in the shadows close to where the trolls keep the ponies, singing in relive when she saw the they were unharmed –that _Myrtle _was unharmed- Bilbo tried to calculate exactly how big at least one of them was in comparison to whatever o whoever she had met or seen in the past, so maybe she could have peace of mind knowing she died by the hand of something close to twenty times bigger than her. She had no doubt they were slow, for their conversation was not an extremely brilliant one, and you could kind of guess it for the clumsy way they moved around; she tried to calm herself by repeating inside her head that since they were that clumsy, if she had to run away she would have the opportunity of doing so, but when she noticed that they could easily lift her completely from the ground with the enormous hands, suddenly that little ray of hope wasn't as visible as before.

"_Not the moment of going back, Bilbo_" The hobbit gulped, pressing her hand against one of the trees, watching the troll's movements with her eyes. With each breathe, she felt an itching feeling inside her chest, like it was hot fire instead of the cold relive she needed at that moment. Maybe it was good, and that was just what she needed to hold her own while facing this situation "_You already are too far from home to do so_"

In what she wanted to think as a determinate gesture, Bilbo started to walk towards the improvised pen at one of the sides, being careful on not doing much noise, even though she was sure no matter how much noise she did they were never going to hear it since their conversation was even louder. When she practically stepped onto the light, standing besides Myrtle as the horse stamped her feet on the ground, Bilbo almost sighed in relief when she saw the knot what |kept them inside, immediately trying to lose it enough to break them free.

It was more difficult than what she had thought at first.

"_Come on, com one_" She urged, gritting her teeth in frustration and in nervousness, having the feeling she was going to be discovered at any minute. After a few more tries she gave up while her eye twitched in annoyance at her own uselessness, accepting the fact that she would need something sharp to cut the ropes with since she apparently didn't have strength enough to do it herself- Maybe she could snuck away again to get one of Fili's knives.

She turned to go.

And froze in her place.

One of the trolls was looking at her direction.

The hobbit held her breathe, quietly sending a prayer to whoever was looking at her right now from above, someone that was most probably laughing at her misfortune. Maybe she was so busy praying that she didn't notice at first how he was not looking directly at her, even if she was just a few meters from them, but something _behind_ her. It took Bilbo a second to hear what seemed worryingly similar to a war shout if she ever imagined one, coming just from behind her, and even before she could move from the shadows and into the light, a figure ran past her, sword in hand, and stood in front of the trolls.

A figure almost as small as she was.

Almost.

_Kili. _


	5. Chapter 5: Mighty Weapon

**IMPORTANT!**

Well, first of all I must say thank you very much for reading! I was hoping to get more reviews, seeing that there are lots of people that had favorited this so I'm really going to ask you to leave one after you read this because this is the last chapter of the year and is how I will know if to continue on 2015 or not. I hope you like this! Is my Christmas and new year's present for all of you, an especially long chapter. At first is going to be kind of slow I personally think, since I tried to make the trolls since (the most repetitive one in every single fic) as short as possible, but after it, there's going to be something I knew lots of people were waiting for so I just hope you like it.

Happy new year!

* * *

"What am I going to do? Eru, what am I going to _do_?"

Everything had happened fast, so much that she didn't get a chance to fully get what was going on when someone –She suspected Bofur, or Bombur, maybe even Fili- pushed her back so hard she was out of the small battle the dwarves had started in just seconds. When Bilbo realized the Trolls were looking at Kili, and that said dwarf was wielding his sword, she had paled at the thought of the still small dwarf alone in front of those hideous creatures, but when the rest of the company came out of nowhere with battle cries announcing their presence her heart most certainly stopped working. Somewhere between the moment she fell backwards to the ground, hitting her arm and the side of the head in the process, and the moment she got up as quick as possible, Bilbo had caught Fili and Kili looking at her for a second, something unrecognizable on their eyes before they started to fight again.

Yes, Fili was the one that pushed her out of the way, out of that madness.

Now, pacing from one side to the other, she wondered how she was going to get them all out of the trouble they had gotten into since the Trolls were now preparing to cook them- No matter how strong Dwalin had being, or how much skill Thorin had with his axe, it had not been enough against tree giant creatures. Stopping in her tracks once more, she half glanced at what she could see of them from her place in between some rocks hidden by the darkness- A whimper escaped the hobbit's lips when she caught sight of most of the company being rolled over the fire.

And Gandalf was still nowhere to be seen.

"What am I going to do?"

Whispering seemed like a good option at the moment.

But that wouldn't do.

Because she needed to do something. _Anything. _Even if it was not much and maybe she would end with them over the fire, she needed to try something- She needed to be smart, like she knew her mother had been, like her father had been, and like she was supposed to be as heir to their legacies; she needed to outsmart the Trolls, and that proved to not be that much of a difficult mission. Bilbo needed to think about something, and do it _fast. _Before the dwarves found themselves in that position the Trolls had tossed away all their weapons, the only smart move she had seen from their part, and now said weapons laid carelessly at her feet, but she knew she wouldn't be able of even holding a sword, and it was already too late to go and look for her bow.

"There must be something" She mumbled, looking around and down at the weapons again, moving them with her hands if necessary, her brows furrowed "There _must _be something"

And there, under all those axes and swords, was that something.

* * *

Thorin Oakenshield considered himself a responsible leader and dwarf, capable of protecting his company, his friends and his kin where and when they couldn't very well protect themselves, for any reason there might be.

There was little he feared, and even more little things he thought unable to face; but as those were incredible useful aspects on his life, he knew he was as well short tempered when it came to certain things. Like he may or may not get angry with most of the things his nephews came up with, Thorin hoped they knew deep inside his scolding's were for the better- When they reclaimed their mountain both Fili and Kili were going to be formally presented as his heirs, the next ones on Durin's line, with the oldest meant to the throne at some point of his life. Thorin was proud of them.

But that had to be the most stupid thing they had ever done since the one time they tried to cut off a lady's braids back in the Blue Mountains just because they didn't like her. And that had been by far the most horrible thing they had come up with at that time.

When Fili had first gotten to the camp, shouting that they needed to come and help because 'Kili is the most stupid and stubborn person he had ever met, and the stupid puppy crush he had on the hobbit was going to be the end of him', Thorin first instinct was to groan. Then to scowl. And then to blame the burglar- And at this, is our duty to point that he did not wished to speak of said creature, for it would need the use of quite big words- because he just knew that hobbit was going to get them on trouble; truth to be told, for the little he had heard from Fili, it had not been the burglar's fault, but it didn't stop him from scowling at the thought.

And then they found themselves not outnumbered but surpassed in strength, and not precisely because they had a lack of it. It was not the first time Thorin had faced that kind of creatures, but it was the first time he had seen three of them together so far away from where they should have been- Nevertheless, apparently they were bound to be tied and lying on the ground like luggage, while the other half of the company –his company- was being rolled over a fire. It was certainly not how he expected to spend that night, and he sure was trying to make a plan to get out of it as soon as possible.

"Don't bother cooking 'em! Let's just sit on 'em and squash 'em into jelly!"

Comments like that one were the ones that made his friends and kin yell at the top of their lungs, cursing and trying to free themselves from their tides- He had tried to do it as well, but even he had to admit they were way to tight to be easy. Looking around the 'camp' he noticed the only half-calm was Balin, who at the same time looked at him with worry; they had seen much, and therefore knew there were slights possibilities of getting out of there in one piece, but if they waited for more time it would be too late. They needed to do something.

And quick.

"They should be sauteed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage" Said the other one, turning at whatever was inside the giant bowl by the side of the fire, sneezing almost over it. Thorin's face contorted in disgust while he tried move his head enough to look behind him, trying to remember where their weapons had been tossed; if he could get to them, maybe with luck he could cut his ropes with the side of one of their axes.

"Oh, that does sound quite nice"

The third one grunted, looking from Kili to Thorin, and then to Bombur, probably thinking about taking him first.

"Never mind the seasoning, we ain't got all night! Dawn ain't far away, let's get a move one! I don't fancy been turned to sto-"

He stopped mid sentence.

"What's that?" A frown crossed his face, or whatever that expression could have been called, and a hand was on his head after a second, surprising Thorin just a little bit as he turned from one side and the other, apparently looking for something. At last his eyes landed on the troll just next to him, something like a narrowed glare on his face as he stumbled towards him, holding him by the ear "You hit' me?"

"What? No!" The troll yelled, sneezing over the others arm after a moment- It was kind of ironic the one holding him found that disgusting, since they _were _disgusting at mere sight. Thorin watched with narrowed eyes as one of them reached for what he thought was supposed to be handkerchief, dropping the fabric to the ground when something hit him in the side of the head; the soon to be king raised an eyebrow, being pretty sure that whatever had been thrown to the troll had been the size of his own fist "Oh!" Bringing a hand to the side of his head, the creature turned around in a vain intent of getting a glimpse of what had hit him, finding his other companion standing just by his side, looking as confused as him with a hand on his head as well- Thorin figured that something had hit him too while he was not looking "You hit me!"

"No, you hit me!"

Soon, there was a little disaster between them, and somewhere in that time not only they stumbled to the ground in a poor intent of fighting but a tall figure stood over a rock by their sides, hints of the sunrise poking over the sunrise. While raising a familiar looking staff in his hands, familiar sounding voice boomed to the camp, making Thorin sigh in short relive.

"The dawn will take you all!"

"Who's that?"

"No idea"

"Can we eat him too?"

Gandalf brought the staff down, breaking the stone under his feet and stepping aside while sun showered them all- The company of dwarves observed with something close to fascination how, between yelps of what most of them thought was pain, the trolls slowly became more and more hard looking, until everything left of them was stone statues, perfectly still on their places. Sighs of relief and cheers quickly filled the space, making Thorin smile slightly, even though that same smile became a scowl when the wizard stepped down to the ground, a knowing smile on his face.

"Well, that worked quite well, if I may say so myself" He looked at them, and Thorin had the feeling he wanted to laugh in their faces, and certainly he had kind of a right to do so even if it annoyed him. Suddenly, the wizard shook his head and looked at one of the sides of the 'camp', the smile still on his face "You can come out now, Master Baggins, I believe your plan worked quite well"

_What?_

After a short moment there was movement behind some rocks, and each one of them, or at least the ones that could actually move their heads, could perfectly see how to the burglar came out of his hiding spot with a relieved expression on his face, maybe even some awe when his eyes fell on the now stone trolls, a small and almost invisible smile appearing on his face before a short laugh left his lips, like he couldn't believe what he was looking at. In fact Thorin couldn't believe neither what he was seeing nor what he had just heard- The burglar was the one buying them time? All along in the shadows? He certainly didn't know what to think of that.

It took the rest of the company a second to realize the hobbit was holding Ori's slingshot in one hand.

And it took them another moment to burst out laughing.

* * *

She was going to _kill _him, or at least she made an oath to do so when Gandalf turned to face her for the first time since he got there. She had been busy helping to untie the ones at the ground, carefully avoiding Thorin, grateful that Bombur was the one helping the leader of the company, so when she could finally stop moving and just stood there looking at the company, a small smile on her face, her anger had come back to her heart and mind in a surprisingly short time, especially when she had been so relived just seconds before.

Maybe it was because, like always, he was smiling, like nothing had happened at all.

Bilbo opened her mouth, more than glad to be disguised as a man, for it wouldn't be proper for a lady to say what she had in mind. It didn't matter she was going to sound pretty much like Thorin when he was mad at her, which was most of the time, and it certainly didn't matter if her parents would be mad at her from where they were. But as usual he had something else in mind; for example, making her life miserable.

"Now now my dear, what you have there on the tip of your tongue is certainly not something a mistress of Bag End should say aloud" The wizard held a hand up, and Bilbo was tempted to curse at him out loud just at that moment, but instead looked over her shoulder to make sure no one had heard him besides her. Glaring back at him, she tried really hard not to let the insulting words come out of her mouth when she opened it, knowing that it was not the best option in a moment like that, even if the wizard in front of her deserved each and every one of the things she had in mind to say.

"Most of the time I try to remind myself that I know better than to hate you" Mumbled the hobbit, quite irritated by the fact that the wizard in front of her had that annoying amusing smile on his face, like he knew all along that was going to happen but did nothing in order to see it happening anyway "Or than to try to hurt you really bad"

"And you can be sure I'm thankful for your merciful and intelligent heart, my friend" He bowed his head, and she huffed a little, trying with all her might not to place her hands on her hips- It would have given her a scarier look, but it most certainly would take away any 'masculinity' in her appearance "For I don't want to suffer under the wrath of your mighty slingshot" Her eye twitched and her cheeks heated.

Deep inside, Bilbo made a note to herself of giving the 'weapon' back to Ori.

For now, she wanted to hold onto it just a little bit longer until she had her bow again, just in case it came in need.

"Thank you, Master Bifur"

A little bit later Bilbo grabbed her bags, bow and arrows from the hands of said dwarf, who had been one of the few sent to retrieve their things. The hobbit sighed almost without noticing when her hands closed around her weapon, bringing it close to her chest in an attempt or bringing peace to her mind- Standing now in front of the cave troll while a small group was inside, she couldn't help but feel that something was going to happen at any moment. Hopefully enough she was just being paranoid, and even if that was the case nobody could actually blame her, those three now statues had been the first menacing living things that she had ever met. Not counting Farmer Maggot's dogs.

Suddenly Bifur started saying things in a language that, clearly, she couldn't understand, moving his arms and hands around like it just _had _to hold some kind of special meaning to her. After a few seconds he stood ridiculously still, looking at her in the eye, and even if Bilbo knew he was waiting for something she couldn't bring herself to guess just _what _he was waiting for.

"He's asking you to call him just Bifur" Fili was sitting close to her side, a knife on his hand, as he looked up to meet her eyes, a smile on his face. Nodding in understanding Bilbo turned to face Bifur again, smiling as well.

"It would be my pleasure" A sharp nod and a few other words accompanied by signs later the turned on his heels and walked towards his cousins, almost immediately talking to Bofur about something apparently important. Bofur smiled, nodded, laughed, and just once glanced in her direction, so the hobbit didn't make anything out of it "Thanks" She said looking at Fili.

"It is kind of difficult to understand him sometimes, but he's pretty nice when you get to know him"

"Besides, now that you are our hero, everyone wants to get to know you better" Grinned Kili by his side, checking on his arrows, making Bilbo roll her eyes. It would have been great to forget about her roll at the troll incident after she gave Ori the slingshot back, but Kili seemed to find it so entertaining that he had decided to just talk nonstop about it. Of course that after his uncle was inside the cave, because Thorin was still blaming said incident to his nephews.

By the look she was receiving Bilbo could tell the leader was quite disappointed he couldn't blame her this time. _Shame, really. _

"It would have been a good idea to keep him tied up just a few more hours" The older of the brothers laughed at that while she chuckled and Kili pouted, trying to look offended and failing miserably at that.

"It's good to know you two love me so much"

"Who ever said love didn't hurt" Bofur walked towards them with Bombur and Bifur at his heels, grinning down at Kili when the youngest pouted once more "But the lad is right in something, Master Baggins, you were pretty impressive back there. I could count with only my hands people I know with such an aim, one of them sadly being this brat over here"

"I've had lots of practice" Bilbo felt her cheeks going ever so slightly red with embarrassment as she left the bow on top of her bag for a moment. It was the first time she heard something good about her aim, coming from a place where it almost was terribly improper "Tends to happen when you have little to do and time to spare" They laughed at that

"Bilbo, come here for a moment please" Turning her head around, she saw Gandalf walking out the cave with something on his hands. Looking at him puzzled Bilbo walked towards him, stopping shortly before meeting him mid-way, recognizing what exactly he was holding "Here, this should be around your size" The wizard handed her the tiny sword, leaving Bilbo to surprise herself at how light it was. The design on the hilt made her stomach twirl for some reason, and she took it as nostalgia since it was pretty similar to the drawings in her books back home. Taking in a sharp breathe, she shook her head as best as she could.

"I don't know how to use a sword- I've never used one in my life"

"Have you not indeed?" Bilbo wanted to both to snort and scream in frustration, why was he still saying things like she _had _to understand exactly what he meant? It was starting to get more annoying by the second "The blade is of elvish make, do you know what that means?"

-_And there, up in the branches where they were hiding from the group of horrible creatures below, she could see a tiny blue glow from the corner of her eye_-

"That it glows or something?" She had meant it as a sarcastic remark, but when he nodded at her Bilbo felt as if her mouth had become sand.

"Every time goblins or orcs are nearby" The hobbit closed her hands around the sword without really noticing, looking down at the ground like it would give her some kind of answer. But really, what was she expecting? It was nothing more than punch of luck, or maybe she had read about it in her books. Nothing to feel worry about "Do not misunderstand me, Bilbo; I do not wish for the time to come when you actually need to use this. Power tends to make people forget about the true weigh of their actions, and so you must always remember that true courage is not about taking a life" His eyes changed a little, becoming a little bit softer "But when to spare one"

It was unfair.

He got to say mythical and philosophical things with a look that probably meant the world to him, but there she was, not even knowing what to do with herself, or with the sword in her hands for that matter. It was unfair he got to look all confident while she was the one that had been shaking when she shoot the troll in the head.

"I'm going to end up staving myself with this thing" She mumbled. The wizard laughed. Dwalin yelled.

"Something is coming!"

Bilbo paused a second to take the sword out, lifting it in front of her eyes. Yes, it was about her size, nothing more than a letter opener for a man, and nothing more than a toy sword for a dwarf; but since she was neither of those, it was perfect in her eyes. And comfortable in her hand, so much that the hobbit felt as if she could swing it around with almost complete control. What an absurd idea, really. The sound of birds flapping their wings caught her attention and made her turn around, just in time to see the company taking arms and preparing themselves in front of some bushes- Her ears, which she had come to know were more sensible than the others of the company, caught the sound of something moving fast in their direction even before it came into view.

She held her breathe, and unknowingly held tighter the hilt of the sword, her heart no more in her chest but in her throat as she turned around and jogged to the side of the group, hoping the sweating on her hands wouldn't make her drop the sword or something similar. The sound became louder and louder, and with that the tension in the air- She could see the birds flying from nearby trees, and as it became clear they were about to face whatever was coming, something quite unexpected was what came out.

_…__Are those rabbits?_

"Just _what type _of friends does that wizard have?"

The hobbit couldn't bring herself to not wonder about that same thing herself.

They were no standing on maybe the very same position they were standing before Radagast the Brown appeared while using brown rabbits as a way of transporting himself. Tilting her face to one side she tried to hear what both wizards were talking about a few feet away from the rest of them, but the general noise was too much- Frowning, and the sighing, she gave up an focused on put some order on her things.

"_First of all_, _this… thing_" She looked down at the weapon in her hands, weighting the possibilities of hiding it in her bag. She frowned again when she realized there wasn't enough space, and her frown deepened when she realized that maybe she was going to need it in the future- It is our duty to point out how ridiculous she thought she was going to look carrying not only her bow, but the sword as well. Joy. Sighing, she lowered it to her hip.

"You need to make sure the knot is tight enough around your belt" A voice made her jump, and when Bilbo looked up imagine her surprise when she found the leader of the company standing by her side. Granted, she had been so immersed in her job that she had her guard down, but when had he gotten _so _close to her? It was kind of disturbing "If you don't then it can just fall in the middle of a battle"

"O-Oh- I mean" Bilbo tried to cover up her blush by clearing her throat, nodding like it had been her intention all along to stutter "I will, thank you"

Bilbo was more than half expecting him to snort at her words. But she didn't receive such thing. Instead Thorin regarded her with a stiff nod before turning around and walking towards Dwalin. The hobbit was not sure of how her face was like, but she since Fili's and Kili's were of pure shock, she figured her own face wouldn't be much different. Had that been… his own way of kindness? It really, definitely and most certainly couldn't be possible, right?

_Right?_

Checking over her things and shaking her head just to keep it together, she saw something rustling from the corner of her eye.

The bow was instantly on her hand.

"Thorin!" He turned his head and his body just in time to leave her a clear shot to the _thing _jumping out of the trees, the arrow flying quickly and neatly hitting its head, going almost worryingly close to the leader's shoulder. The animal quickly fell to the ground with a loud sound, catching the attention of those who hadn't known what had happened. The leader of the company stared at her in mid shock before turning around, sword in hand and ready for whatever was about to come, but it was Kili who shoot the second thing that came jumping out of nowhere- His uncle cut clean off his head once the animal touched the floor.

"Warg scouts! Which means an orc pack is not far behind" The leader scowled at the fool creature, turning around to look at the rest of his company. For a second, Bilbo thought, the blue eyes landed on the bow on her hands and then at her face, but before she could even there to think of that as real Gandalf stepped in front of the rest, walking closer to Thorin.

"Who did you tell about your quest, beyond your kin? Who did you tell!?" Gandalf almost yelled, seeming more nervous and angry than ever before, so much that Bilbo couldn't bring herself to say that maybe it wasn't the dwarf's fault.

"No one, I swear! What on Durin's name is happening?" The scowl on the wizard's face told her that the answer was not pleasant at all.

"You are being hunted"

"We have to get out of here"

"We can't! We have no ponies! They've bolted!"

She was sure her father was rolling in his breathe for the words that came out of her mouth when she heard Ori yelling about the ponies, and the Valar sure knew how she had hold back a couple more.

"I'll draw them off" Bilbo was not the only one surprised to hear Radagast speaking with such confidence, holding his staff in hand and already walking towards his rabbits. Gandalf looked at his friend, shaking his head, saying what most of them were already thinking.

"Those are Gundabad wargs, they will outrun you"

"This are Rhosgobel rabbits" And the smirk that crossed his face a few seconds after that gave the hobbit chills "I'd like to see them try"

* * *

Bilbo was annoyingly aware of Thorin looking at Kili, nodding at his arrows significantly.

The younger dwarf in return looked at her nodding once, and she nodded twice just to give herself time to breathe. The arrow on its place, the hand bringing back the string- _Breath in, breath out, focus. _She missed the rock on her back when they both half ran and turned to have a clear shot to their target, Bilbo bringing down the orc, Kili bringing down the warg, or so they thought until it started making horrifying noise.

"They are coming!" Fili shouted while Bifur killed the damn thing, and the hobbit felt as if her heart would burst out of her chest at any freaking moment. She was right behind Fili when they started running again for dear life, thanking all those years running breathlessly around the The Shire- Her legs threaten to give up, but once they were reminded of their old strength and the pointy fangs behind them, it was not a problem to keep up.

"This way!" Turned around almost franticly she forced her eyes to find Gandalf, but there was much around her and it turned out to be impossible. Taking a shaky breathe, she tried once more, finding him near some rocks.

"Kili!" Bilbo tightened her fingers around her bow and turned around almost immediately when she heard Fili's yell. Imagine her surprise when she found the youngest dwarf besides her, which turned out to be pretty far away from the rest. When had they been left so behind? It was not good, it was not good at a-

She saw the paw and the fangs a fraction of second too late.

Bilbo most literally saw stars when her side collided with the ground, being pretty sure that if nothing had broken then _something_ was most probably bruised. She hissed when, forcefully, she made her body turn around in the ground to avoid been stepped on by the warg that had attacked her from behind- Teeth the size of her hand was what welcomed her eyes, as she was now face to face with the horrible animal. The first thing she thought of was that she was going to be eaten; the second thing was to reach for her sword.

The third was a reminder to kick Kili's behind for choosing the wrong moment to make himself a courageous brat that somehow manages to keep himself alive.

Forever and ever was she going to hold the Troll incident against him.

"Get off him, you over sized puppy!"

It was nice to know that at least said dwarf was trying to save her from being eaten. Very nice indeed.

Finally finding her sword she took it out and could only aim to brush the side of its legs and torso; not enough to make some serious damage, but enough to take his attention for Bifur's weapon to pierce its skull, and for Bombur to drag her out of the way before the body fell to the ground. She took a deep breathe, finding it harder than she remembered it to be, holding her bow tightly to her chest.

"You okay there, Bilbo?" Bofur's voice appeared from what it seemed out of nowhere, and his face followed a second after that, just in front of her eyes, probably looking for some critical wound "Something broken?" Bilbo couldn't tell at the moment if she was hurt or not, but she knew she was going to find out at some point of that day- If they made it so long. Somehow she managed to nod before being pulled to her feet, probably by Bombur because it was quite gently, and pushed to where she remember Gandalf being. Turning her head she found the wizard in the exact same place, looking at her with an almost wild expression in his face- So she hadn't been the only one to notice that she could have been eaten. Nice.

"Quickly! Into the cave!" The truth was, she wasn't the one doing the running towards said cave- Bombur felt it was up to him to basically drag her all the way until they passed the wizard and Thorin. They rolled down until hitting soft ground, quickly standing to their feet so not to be crushed by Fili and Kili, who were the last ones on jumping inside. The hobbit felt her heart in her ears as she stood there, sweating like never before in her life, adrenaline still pounding through her veins. Looking around it was nice to see that everyone had made it, but her moment of peace was immediately disturbed when a horn's sound presented itself right before an orc came rolling down to where they were.

She saw the arrow pierced into its chest before anything else, and Bilbo immediately knew something was not completely right. Gulping as slightly and silently as possible, she really gave it a thought- There had been no one up there, not close enough to not be seen, and yet…. Her eyes followed Thorin's hand as it came to take out the arrow, his blue eyes glaring intensely at the pointy end.

Her stomach did a flip before he even said the word, throwing the arrow at the ground like it hadn't just helped them out.

"Elves"

The word wasn't foreign to her, not when she had read it about a hundred of times, but somehow, to hear it from Thorin had a new impact. She felt her stomach hollow itself like there was nothing inside, and thought she was not hungry, she felt suddenly a little bit dizzy and just a little bit colder. She must have been staring at him, because after the leader broke eye contact with Gandalf his eyes met hers, showing her a mix of things that she couldn't quite understand. Somehow, she felt… insulted.

"I cannot see where this path leads!" Everyone turned around to look at Dwalin, who was standing at the beginning of what indeed looked like a path. The warrior looked at his companions "Do we follow it or not?"

"Follow it of course!" The urgency on Bofur's voice as he picked up his things and started walking was something Bilbo could relate too, still breathing heavily, her heart still beating loudly, her hands still shaking with the memory of fangs a few inches away from her face. She was so busy trying to get herself together that she didn't look at Gandalf when he said, in a tone that was annoyingly similar to his 'This is going to be most amusing for me' one, that he thought it was wise to follow the path, even if she did groan at that.

The path turned out to be quite wide for them to go through, and she was grateful for that. The last thing she wanted now was to squeeze her way in when they didn't even know where they were going. Brilliant, lovely.

"Are you sure you are alright?" This time she did look up at Gandalf, who was quite at ease if she could say so herself. So at ease that she was almost tempted to ask about it, but since there was already a headache starting at the back of her head, she held herself.

"I am" She didn't exactly know how, but she didn't have anything to be worried about. There were scratches here and there, but there was nothing broken or dislocated, or sprained, and so by the act of some divine power, she was, in general terms, alright._ Besides the fact of having had being the future lunch of an oversized wolf, that is_ "Is just that…" Bilbo took a shaky breathe, finding it a little bit harder. Something was pressed against her chest, just there, but it didn't feel dangerous "There is something…" She made and awkward hand gesture with her hands.

"You can feel it" It was not a question, though it could very well be one.

"Yes" Bilbo slowed her pace, feeling a little bit foolish out of the blue. Was it weird to say what she thought it was to a wizard? Well, it wasn't going to be the first time she made a fool of herself in front of him "It feels… it feels like… well, like magic"

"That's exactly what it is" Gandalf nodded with a knowing smile, looking up himself at the light coming from the sky above "A really powerful one" Bilbo looked up as well, and the only thing that could take her eyes away was Dwalin's voice announcing there was light ahead of them

As someone who loved open spaces, Bilbo was really happy to get out of the path, breathing deeply as she realized her side was starting to hurt a little bit. Was the adrenaline already running out? Now that was not something she was looking forward to, especially when she remembered the hit her side and head had had when the accident with the warg. She wasn't looking forward to it _at all. _

Sighing, she stopped along with the others, looking up from the ground and wondering just where they were now.

The view almost too literally took her breathe away.

"The Valley of Imladris" Announced Gandalf, walking out of the path as the last one, a small of victory on his face. If the hobbit hadn't been as enchanted as she was looking at the silver house on the mountain, she would have laughed- After all, she could already feel Thorin's anger from where she was standing "In the common tongue is known by another name" To be honest with herself, Bilbo was about to say it even before he mentioned it. It was there, on the tip of her tongue, waiting to get out, just as the pictures in her head.

-_Not even the waterfall was as bright as the walls and the bridge they were crossing, the green trees and beautiful birds surrounding the area with bright presence doing nothing more than stand as a side thing besides the beauty of the house. Looking ahead she could see someone standing at facethe edge of the bridge, a long tunic dressing his body, a gentle smile adorning his d_-

"Rivendell"

* * *

There was _something_, as simple as that.

It was not only the way he moved, though certainly she had not seen anyone move around like that, and it was not only how he seemed to be completely at comfort when he talked to Gandalf about slaying orcs near their borders; it was not only the fact that it was the first time she had seen such an elegant armor, or such big horses, even when she went to Bree and saw the big folk, and it was not only about the way his face looked serene, but his eyes full of the knowledge that could only be acquired by the pass of many, many years.

It was _everything._

The very way he _smiled _had _something _that really had her mind working, looking for a face to place. But the only face she could come up with was his, but it was _wrong, _there needed to be someone she knew that looked like him. And it was not only him, but the elf that had welcomed them at first as well, the one she could hardly see because of being standing behind Bifur the whole time. Her confusion mixed with her wonder and her amazement was overwhelming, so much that the only thing she could actually do was to keep standing there in the middle of the group, a place she was not very sure how she ended up in.

"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain" Elrond spoke to Thorin like an equal, a solemn expression but not cold on his face, stepping forward to give the company a proper welcome.

"I do not believe we have met" And of course Thorin was, well, Thorin. Bilbo was starting to think that treating badly his hosts was a very bad habit of his.

"You have your grandfather's bearing" Observed the elf "I knew Thor when he ruled under the mountain"

"Indeed?" Thorin almost cocked his head to one side, the start of a sarcastic smile just about the corner of his mouth. Bilbo just wanted to smack him down the head, or at least something similar "I don't recall him mentioning you" If Elrond was insulted by his words, he didn't show it. Instead, he spoke with ease in a tongue Bilbo placed in her books.

"_Light the fires, fetch the miruvor. We must give food to our guests_" She smiled, feeling a little less confused. After all, he was a really nice host.

Everything was a little less confusing until Gloin jumped with axe in hand.

"What is he saying? Does he offer us insult?" He growled, and Bilbo felt so surprised she just had to walk around Bifur a little to look at the red haired dwarf.

"Of course he's not, he's offering us food" Even if you can't believe it there was silence after her words. It was one of the first times she had seen dwarves silently looking at something without looking nostalgic; even Kili, who normally was the one to laugh at everything she said, was looking at her strangely, just like the rest of the company was doing. The hobbit looked around the company, finding Thorin looking at her particularly blankly, like he couldn't quite place an emotion to his face. Bilbo frowned a little "What? You didn't understand him?" Sure it was another tongue, but wasn't it taught as well at the very beginning of your life? It must be, because she could read it, and she could understand it, so surely it was a common thing to learn.

…Right?

"Why should we?" Dwalin almost growled at her, and when she turned around with both eyebrow raisin in surprise and confusion, he looked at her suspiciously "And why _you do_?" Bilbo blinked a few times, looking truly confused. She turned her head to look at Gandalf for some kind of answer, but in the way she meet with the surprised eyes of the lord elf, who a few seconds after smiled kindly at her.

"What a pleasant surprise" Elrond walked towards her, but somehow Thorin and Fili and Kili refused to move from their spots to allow him to continue. If the elf noticed it, he was kind enough to not comment on it, standing there with a certainly happy smile on his face "It has being far too long since the last time I saw your face, Bilbo Baggins. It is refreshing to see how much you take after your mother- Of course, I mean no offense to your father by this"

Again, it was Bilbo's turn to rise her eyebrows in surprise.

"You knew my mother?"

"And you, of course"

Suddenly, the hobbit became _very _aware of Thorin's glare.


	6. Chapter 6: To Insult and to be Insulted

_First of all, **happy new year**! I sure hope you all get the chance to do the things you want to do, you surely will be successful at it. _

_I wanted to say that I went to watch The Battle of the Five Armies yesterday. And when the credits appeared, while I was crying my eyes out, I realized how unsatisfied I was; not because I didn't like it because you can be sure as hell that I loved it very much, but it just wasn't enough for me._ **And so I wanted to invite you all who think like me to say what you want, this story is young and I have lots of ideas, ideas that do not change the outcome that I know I want at all, so I want to hear your ideas as well. I'm going to make open voting in this fic, and not because I will let someone else control what I write, but because I believe this Bilbo and this story belongs to more than one person.**

**Oh, and I dont love this chapter. I had to write it to get some things out of the way, but I dont love it. **

* * *

Bofur standing up on the table to sing helped.

It helped, It really did; it was a tune he had been composing along the way, that she could remember, bits and pieces muttered under his breathe when her pony walked pass his, or when they sat to eat dinner in front of the fire, or when most were already asleep. The rest of the company clapping and singing along helped as well, even when they were most probably trying to annoy the elves while having a good time too- A win-win for them, of that there was no doubt. The faraway melody of the elves playing behind her just a few seconds ago disappeared into her ears and it hurt; she held onto the fabric of her pant as if her life depended on it, keeping her eyes in her plate and only in the plate, trying not to recognize than no matter how much the change of tune helped, the feeling was still _there_.

It was nothing more than a bad dream, a dream from a long time ago.

-_It always was a lovely sound, and it always seemed effortless when large fingers brushed the strings. The right sounds always came out, and the hand caressing her head would always continue doing it at the same rhythm; the motherly humming would always accompany the music, because no matter what, it was always to be played for her_-

To keep thinking of that was the best option there was at the moment, it really was. For now, at the moment, it was the only way to keep her sanity or what little was left of it after accepting the quest.

If she did see Oin looking at her from her left, or Fili and Kili looking at each other by the corner of her eye, she said nothing about it.

They said nothing about her white knuckles either.

* * *

"They creep me out; look at how slowly they walk, they a-"

"Look at those bridges, they are going to fall any da-"

"What's that smell? Is dis-"

"Those windows. They sure get soaked to their pointy ears when it rai-"

Conversation when on and on around her, or at least that she guessed, for Bilbo was way too busy racing with her own mind.

She could remember the borders of The Shire.

She could remember Bree.

But there was no memory of a place far from home called Rivendell.

And there was, in absolutely no corner of her memory, an elf named Elrond either.

Or any elf for that matter. _Not real ones anyway…_

In fact there was absolutely nothing related to elves as far as she knew, nothing that did not came from books or from maps. Absolutely nothing besides stupid dreams and senseless pictures that came to her mind from time to time- Nothing that was actually real. And it was frustrating and annoying, and not only because the looks she had received during dinner and all the way to the rooms they had been assigned to, and not even for the way they had smiled at her and made Bilbo feel guilty for not knowing those peaceful faces.

It was both frustrating and annoying because of the hole made and left in her stomach by the situation in general. And if she had to choose, it wouldn't be just one of those two options; it would take a mix of frustration and annoyance together to create a whole new level of anxiety, and only that would make justice to what she was feeling, and what she was starting to see as a reason to just sit in a corner and sleep until they could leave. Yes, it was beautiful place, breathe taking actually, and yes, the elves were even more beautiful than the architecture itself, but that didn't take away the fact that Bilbo Baggins hated with all her soul feeling like that.

-_a long tunic dressing his body, a gentle smile adorning her face_-

She almost winced. Elrond's smile as he asked her to sit with them, and even when she declined after feeling all the eyes on her, did not help either.

And the _humming_. That definitely was not helping at all.

"Is this a scar what I feel, lad?"

It took a while to realize she was being talked to. Opening her eyes, the first thing she could see was Ori's hand basically flying over one of the pages of his book, pen in hand, eyes shining as they scanned everything to be seen from the enormous window at the side of their room- It was refreshing to see she was not the only one thinking it was an amazing place, giving that all the others were wrinkling their noses as they scanned their surroundings. She could see Kili by the corner of the eye pretending to do the same, but the wonder in his eyes as he looked outside the window gave him away immediately.

"Well?"

"Eh? Oh, that. Yes, it is a scar" Bilbo blinked out of her thoughts, noticing for the first time that Oin's hands had gone to her head and pass her hair, pressing now a particular point close to her right ear. She couldn't quite see what he was talking about, but by the location she guessed anyway "My father told me I had an accident when I was little, quite a nasty fall, took the blow to my head. He said it took quite a while for him to make it heal" Bilbo thought it was not fair Oin only made her sit to be checked over, even though she was not the youngest nor she was gravely injured. Sure, she had been the only one seconds from being an oversized dog's lunch, but It still was unfair.

"Sounds like a gentleman, your father" The hobbit smiled a little bit even though it was kind of a random comment, nodding ever so slightly as she recalled her father's soft words and calm appearance. Oin was quiet for a moment as well, like he was thinking about something, and Bilbo was about to start day dreaming once more when he started to speak again, his hands a little bit gentler on her head "What about your mother? How was your mother?" The question was so casual and said with such a tone that she honestly didn't realize what it was about until it came to her mind that maybe Oin was waiting for an answer. It was funny, really, for she had been thinking about that same person just a few seconds ago, but had absolutely no answer for his questions even then.

"You could ask anyone here in Rivendell about her and they could tell you much more than me" She sighed, almost groaning and hissed with frustration when he got to her temple, touching a bruise hiding under her curls "I don't remember her, I guess because I was little when she died. Not so little, but I guess it was enough" She would have shrugged, but with her head literally on his hands it was kind of difficult to do so. Bilbo could almost feel him nodding, but the silence that came after that was too heavy to not wonder if she had somehow said something wrong; the hobbit couldn't really look around but was certain anyway that someone was staring at her.

Once her head was free and Oin started muttering something that she couldn't understand under his breathe, Bilbo took the chance to look over her shoulder just a little bit. Bombur was organizing going through his things with Bifur and Bofur, Nori watching Ori and Dori trying to talk his younger brother out of drawing absolutely everything they had seen of that place; Gloin was saying something to Fili, and Kili was still pretending he didn't want to walk out of the room to explore. Dwalin, as almost always, was standing by the door frame with his arms closed over his chest, and besides him, standing almost outside the room and glaring at her was- **Right, ****_him. _**

She frowned almost immediately.

_Why didn't it surprise her?_

If she had thought that Thorin didn't like her back at Bag End when they first met or when she signed the contract, she hadn't seen anything at all. The leader's glares were positively mortal and full of annoyance, so much that Bilbo was extremely surprised he hadn't kicked her out of the company just yet. She had figured out that the relationship between dwarfs and elves was not the best one, and apparently for him to be friends with one was just like being one, even if Bilbo had made clear right away in front of Elrond that she truly didn't know who he was- Apparently, for her to feel lost and confused and just so damn tired wasnt enough. It was unfair, but she was way too tired and confused to even start worrying about him.

And so she ignored the glares, bringing even more glares, and that pretty much conducted to growls. She had ignored those ones as well.

It didn't meant it made her felt okay about it.

_She still ignored him as a whole. _

"Don't worry about him, lad. He's just surprised, that's all; we all are" Balin, bless him, gave her a sincere smile when he noticed her expression, sitting on one of the chairs with his pipe on one hand. Bilbo wondered if he felt at all tired, being older than her and everything, and somehow the thought of dwarves being tougher than hobbits even when they were like one hundred years older was kind of funny "Haven't met someone in quite a long time who could actually understand that senseless tongue of theirs, if I may say so myself"

Just to make it clear, he was the first one mentioning anything about it.

Actually he was the first one who had the chance to do it. At first everyone had wanted to say something, _of course they had_, they even started to but when they walked into the actual Rivendell, to find flaws in every single corner or that there was only vegetables to eat apparently became more important that the fact that she could understand Sindarin and that she didn't know why. Bilbo had wished for them to forget, just like she sure wanted to do, but she now supposed that since Thorin obviously hadn't forgot about it, there was the possibility that others could remember it as well; she was grateful that the first one to comment on it at least was Balin.

"To be honest, I did not know I could do that. I just… at that moment I thought it was completely normal, you know? Something you learn along the way" Now that she could shrug, she did it. Now that she could actually try and explain it aloud, she took the chance and tried as hard as she could; as expected, what she said was not even half of what she had been thinking since they first sat to eat, or since they walked the first stairs to the inside of Rivendell for that matter "Turns out it was not"

She was right on being grateful it was Balin, because instead of frowning or glaring _and _growling like Thorin (She could honestly not imagine him doing that anyway), he just smiled.

"Hobbits are strange creatures indeed"

_Actually I'm starting to think the strange one is me. But then again, I already knew that…_

"Or maybe you just really don't remember" Bofur sat heavily on the floor in front of Bilbo, his hat untouched even though some parts of his clothes were a little bit ripped. She was about to point out that she could actually help with that if someone had a needle and some thread, but he was already speaking again, eyes directly in her face "Haven't you given it a thought, Bilbo? I can say that I have, since we got there I mean. Maybe this scar of yours is telling you all about it. Maybe with the blow you just forgot about many things- Wouldn't be the first time something like that happened" Bofur was not the only one who turned around to watch Bifur; she too had glanced at the dwarf over her shoulder, lips pressed together.

She had not been exactly worried about the whole thing; she was frustrated, she was annoyed and anxious, but she wouldn't have used the word worried and surely not after she had calmed down. Now what actually worried her was the fact that the possible explanation somehow didn't sound foreign to her, not in the slightest, if anything just a little bit out of place. Had she thought about it as well? Had she forgotten about that, too? It was not a thought she was happy with, and it was not something that satisfied her need of answers.

It was not something that helped with the feeling inside her stomach

"Maybe" And so that was all she managed to say.

"Well, guess we will never really know, we can't do much more than speculate" Oin spoke again and this time when Bilbo turned to look at him, he was glaring at Bofur like the other dwarf had done something stupid. Or like he had _said _something stupid, something that made absolutely no sense. After a second though the glare disappeared, leaving her to the annoying feeling of not understanding something; the healer sighed and looked down at her "Now take your coat off"

It was like someone had dumped iced water on her head. She was so surprised she wasn't sure she could even blush, but she _did _hold onto the front of her coat like her very life depended on it as she turned her head to look at Oin, who actually looked pretty much unimpressed by her reaction.

"W-What!?" She turned her body around almost completely, being close to knocking the chair she was sitting on down, her hand firmly on her coat.

"Your coat, off. I need to check your sides- I may be old, but I'm not blind, I saw you hit the ground when that warg tackled you, your ribs could be bruised and no one is going to run around middle earth with bruised ribs on my watch" He narrowed his eyes, leaning in order to poke at her side with one finger ever so slightly, and Bilbo thanked the Valar she was enough in shock to not feel the pain that maybe was there. She actually thought of jumping off the _window _to escape, because she just happened to have the feeling that, with Oin, there probably was no other option besides the one he was offering- Like, for real.

And that was the problem of it.

Well, actually, the problem was what he was going to find under her shirt. And what he was _not_ going to find under her trousers.

_The window plan starts to sound quite lovely at this point._

"It really isn't necessary" She started to stand up slowly, taking a short step so the distance between them would grow. Oin was still unimpressed and Baling was chuckling quietly; luckily enough they would think it was a hobbit thing that had something to do with moral and 'appropriate' behavior. The healer raised an eyebrow at her "I'm fine, really"

"I will decide that myself after I take a look. Don't make me put Dwalin on it, lad; You know I can do it"

Of course she knew he was capable of doing it, and that was exactly why she was already prepared to turn around and actually jump off the nearest window. The one Ori was drawing was close enough- That one would work. Who knows, maybe it wasn't going to hurt so much. _Yeah right. **But it was worth it. **_

"Bath you say!?"

Everyone turned around to Bofur, but Bilbo stared not just because he had almost shouted something that didn't really deserved to be announced, but because she realized an elf lady had stepped slightly into the room and was now standing quietly besides the door. Everyone was relatively quiet when the dwarf with a hat turned around and grinned to the rest of the group, looking around the room with almost the same big grin he had had on his face when he stepped on top of the dinner table, but then again, he always had a grin on his face.

"What? You afraid we get dirty your precious hallways and walls?" Dwalin was frowning at the she elf, taking one step forward. Bilbo could tell you something: Dwalin as he was, was intimidating with his big frame, his inking and the parts of armors that covered his body, but it was hilarious the difference of height between him a she elf with an impeccable dress. After a second or two though, she was afraid the dwarf could engage himself and the others in some kind of argument they would obviously want to win through weapons.

Bofur intercepted that possible future and changed it.

"Think about it lads" He said aloud, passing an arm over Kili's shoulder and leaning to the others, like he was about to say some big secret. The grin was still there on his face and Bilbo smiled almost unwillingly, because that kind of humor was contagious- She could only hope people like Thorin, who was glaring at the elf, would be touched by it as well. It was easy to like people like that "The water wouldn't be so _clean _anymore after it" She could feel the mortification growing inside her because if she had heard it the she elf sure as hell could as well, but when the hobbit turned to look at her while the other ones cheered in agreement, she was still calm.

And looking at her.

Actually, looking at her _and _walking in her direction.

_This can't be good_

The elf stood right in front of her, right besides Oin, right besides Balin, her hands together in a calm gesture, her long brown her falling down her back in a perfect way, her clear eyes on her face with such sentiments that Bilbo was taken back. There was a smile formed on her lips, and face was something that Bilbo found curious, but not in a bad way; It was almost like, without the crazy thoughts and made up images in her mind, it looked similar to someone else's, but he couldn't exactly point out who…

"My father, Lord Elrond, offers you an inner bath, _Lady Hobbit_"

_Ah, him…_

_...What did she call her?_

It was like another bucket of cold water right into her face, and it was so sudden and so clear that the hobbit had a really hard time not screaming or pulling her hair out. In reality it almost was a cruel reminder that yes, he did know that she was a woman, and yes, he was not going to forget it anytime soon; it hadn't occurred to her that Lord Elrond, or the elves in general, would be so direct about it, but then again, the elf had said it in a language that no dwarf in that room could understand and when she realized that her heart rate slowed down a little bit. Bilbo had the feeling that Gandalf had something to do with it, but she still didn't feel all comfortable saying it around, cultural barrier or not.

"What are you calling him? And Master Baggins stays with us!" Gloin, of course, was the first one to speak and not necessarily because he really liked her, but because he probably liked an opportunity to stand firm in front of someone, and elves proved to be his favorite target when it came down to that. She tried to gulp down her nerves, repeating time after time that only they two knew about what those words had meant, and after a second or two she tried to speak over all the voices that had started to complain as well because she had realized just how important the proposition was to her right now.

"It wasn't an insult" Her voice came out kind of cracked, and so she had to clear her throat and said it again. This time they did hear her, and even thought she was still looking at the other female's face, she could fell eyes on her- Actually she had developed kind of a six sense, and that was exactly why she just knew Thorin was glaring at her "And actually…" She grimaced "We hobbits_ do_ love and respect privacy very much" And she had proved to them before, almost sneaking to take a bath alone in a river, or turning around when they started to undress from the camp to the river, they didn't need to know it mostly was because, as an unmarried woman, she was just protecting her mind from that kind of… visions.

"But Bilbo" Fili, followed by Kili, stepped closer to her side. The older brother was looking between her and the elf while Kili was just looking at her, maybe waiting for Bilbo show him that she was afraid or that she felt forced to do it. She sure made hope to show him that she was actually happy to be provided of such an option, secretly hoping they would take her word for it. Fili was frowning ever so slightly "Is not safe"

Actually, the worst thing that could possibly happen to her in that place as a major psychological breakdown, but Bilbo refused to get dramatic. If she started whining at all, she could sound like Lobelia, and that was something she would gladly stay away from. She smiled at the two brothers while walking closer to the elf, her hand still on her coat.

"I think it really is, Fili. I'll you see all later, I promise"

When she walked pass him, Bilbo could see Thorin form the corner of her eye, and he surely didn't look happy- She didn't frown, she didn't smile, because she was starting to think that maybe she couldn't care less; she was going to try to be a good person after all the dirt and dry blood came off her body and her clothes. A little voice inside her voice told her she was starting to get the dwarf's stubbornness, but if that was what it took to survive those glares, she could accept it bit by bit. And so when she was out of the room, and could actually breathe, and didn't feel the eyes on her anymore she actually stopped on her tracks, looked up at the elf lady besides her –later, she would come to find her name was Arwen-, and said something in a way that didn't surprise her as much as it would have before she came to Rivendell and before she started to think once more of impossible explanations.

"_Thank you_"

* * *

Bilbo wasn't sure about why the elves had clothes her size.

You can be sure she didn't ask about it.

She walked for a long time after what must have been the best bath of her whole life, or at least she presumed she it was a long time, she wasn't exactly keeping count, mainly because she didn't want to go back to a room with Oin. Walking by balconies and gardens, by large windows and trees; up the stairs, past the columns, there was not only a statue holding pieces of a sword that seemed so large it was incredible, but a large picture on a wall showing the scene of great battle. Bilbo could see a man in the ground and a black figure standing almost over him, sword in hand and a single golden ring around his finger- The hobbit could have sworn she could hear the battle cries for a moment, but it was enough to send chills down her spine and make her walk of the room.

"This…" She stood there, looking at the woods and the fountains, breathing the clear air around her. It was a view from a dream, or a dream inside a dream, but she didn't mind it, at all- It was a moment she could stand say think about nothing, not hiding who he was or thinking of having her bow nearby, not hiding away from glares or having to smile at some question when she snapped out of her day dreaming and strange pictures. Bilbo smiled "This is amazing" Closing her eyes she tilted her head back, taking a deep breathe. She released the air and opened her eyes.

The hobbit blinked.

There was someone on top of the tree in front of her, almost completely hidden behind all the leaves.

She narrowed her eyes trying to look the figure better, finding that yes, it was in fact a person. Walking lightly around the trunk she found some stairs at a side, surely guiding her to a better spot where she could at least see the person a whole deal closer.

"Hello?"

It was her great surprise when the tree actually started to shake and the figure fell to the ground with an almost too heavy THUD, leaving her blinking in the balcony. She rushed to the railing, standing on tip toes to see over it, and surely enough there was a young male on the ground, dark hair and dark clothes- He didn't look up and so she couldn't see his face, but when he moved to stand up she had a clear view of something else. He didn't have pointy ears.

He was out of her sight even before she could even ask if he was injured or not.

"That was Estel" Startled, the hobbit turned around quickly, finding Elrond walking towards her with his hands behind his back, his eyes set on the way the young _man _had taken to get away. She realized he was chuckling at the same time "Aragorn, if you may. He grew up here under my care, and now he comes and goes like the wind. I think you have surprised him in a way no one has really done before- He wants to be increase his experience as a ranger, you see, and my guess is that he wanted to test hobbit's lightness. He might be mature for some things, but you might just have hurt his pride a little bit"

She looked at him in silence before turning her head again, tilting her head to one side, almost literally feeling the question forming at the back of her tongue. It would have been way to blunt to ask directly about it, so she looked for the best way to get the answer she was looking for without looking like a child. The bad thing was the fact that, what came out of her mouth, wasn't the smartest remark ever.

"He's son of a man" And when she realized what just got out of her mouth was too obvious she almost knocked her head against the nearest tree. She had spent way too much time with Fili and Kili, because apparently their observation skills were rubbing on her. Valar help her; she felt her cheeks going red. But to her surprise Elrond didn't seem amused by that, he just smiled.

"He's part of the mortal, yes. Still a child by our and your standard as you understand, but a young and capable man by theirs" He nodded, but it was not gravely. Elrond smiled kindly down at her with such an air that Bilbo had a really hard time reminding herself to be prepared for whatever he could say to her now that they were face to face again, now that there was no Gandalf to explain something, or no Thorin to glare at her for something she was not the one to be blamed for "Have you lost your way, Mistress Baggins?"

"Not really, I was just… looking around" The hobbit made an odd gesture to the place around her, and she almost winced at how awkward it had sound. Was it obvious that she was almost inching away? Or the fact that she could hardly look at his face anymore? Bilbo felt as if he could read what she was thinking; she felt as if Elrond could see the imagine that she had in her mind, the one of himself smiling and standing in that bridge, the imagine of a blonde haired person whose face she couldn't see but whose grace could only be compared to the one of the lord standing in front of her now.

"Something has come to my attention, something quite… interesting"

And there it was.

She gulped, and Bilbo was pretty sure he had heard it.

"We are the same then"

"I won't trouble you more, that's for sure. You are far too tired now, so please do not worry" Bilbo blinked. He was… not going to comment about it.….Now that was something she was expecting. He chuckled again, and an amused little smirk rested on his lips after that. Bilbo took it as a sign to brace herself "They do not know you are female" She was left to grimace, because she had figured out he obviously already knew about that tiny detail. And now, different from earlier that day with Oin, she was capable of blushing to the point of her ears, and for that to happen in front of a seemingly perfect being was a reason to feel even more embarrassed "I understand Gandalf prefers to keep it that way, and I see his reasons, but what are your thoughts on the matter?"

"I didn't mean to fool anyone" It sounded worse when said aloud, like it was a really pathetic excuse- Bilbo already knew it was something like that, but it was easier when she didn't even think about it. Now that she was basically asked to do so, it was hard not to notice how stupid it sounded, and it was hard not to think of a kid who confessed she did a bad thing to her parents "Is just, it wouldn't have been the same, and Thorin is **so **stubborn, and he wouldn't have let me come. And I…" And now she was rambling. Curse her Tookish side of the family. Taking a deep breathe seemed to help "I just wanted to…"

"Seems like an interesting perspective" Elrond nodded gravely even though she had made absolutely no sense, resting his hands on railing in front of them. He raised an eyebrow after a second "Even though in my opinion, is not the conventional way the one you are taking"

And just like the moment she saw Gandalf back in Bag End that morning, Bilbo didn't miss a beat.

"I've heard not to come to elves in search of an advice, for their answer will never be a yes or no"

You would think she would have learned about keeping quiet.

But turns out that no, she hadn't.

The interesting thing was the fact that he didn't miss a beat either.

"And I've learn quite a lot of things of hobbits. I've come to know about their strong heart, and their unbreakable will; it is strange for them to change their minds about something they already decided" Elrond smiled then, bowing his head slightly in her direction. If she wanted to make a question about his remark, and about the fact that he apparently knew her mother, then that was the moment- She had the feeling that he was half expecting her to ask something, keeping quiet for a little moment, but she didn't say anything. She didn't dare, not yet. After that moment passed he talked again "Nevertheless, you are welcome to stay here. You will always be"

-_And because they were not meant to stay there, she could see the bridge once more on their way out. The sun rising about their heads was a pretty sight, and she was only distracted from it by the hand placed on top of her head; when she turned around she found the kind sir looking at her, a smile on his face. She smiled back_-

"I know" In all honesty the words were already out, and a difference between dinner and that moment, was the fact that it didn't hurt at all. Was the fact that he could actually smile at him and enjoy the smile that was given back to her "Thank you very much"

* * *

"I will help you wash everything later" Bilbo pressed her empty plate on top of the table they had moved against the window, along with everybody else's, smiling at Bombur.

"You don't need to Bilbo" The dwarf shook his head, pushing her dirty plate against the rest, his legs almost swinging over the edge of the table he was sitting on. She was worried about the noise coming from below it, like it was about to snap in half, and that was actually what she thought it was going to happen, but since he didn't seem to mind even though he had noticed as well she was not about to say a single thing "Go to rest, you look like you need it" That took her by surprise

"Really?" The cook nodded.

"You don't look bad, you just look… tired" The hobbit thought about it, about the sore feeling on her shoulders, and took it as the Warg's accident kicking in. She grimaced and nodded, almost too aware of her sore everything, just trying not to think immediately about Oin so he wouldn't look at her. He had, after all, bought the excuse the elves insisted on checking on her and she was therefore fine- A lie she would apologize for after.

"Thank you, Bombur"

When he nodded and she turned around, Bilbo wondered just how to feel about the fire Bofur had just made in the _middle _of the _room_ with parts of the chair he had disposed of, and it was a shame because it had been a really pretty chair- 'To keep us warm and cook some real food' he had said, and she couldn't help but look sideways at the empty bottles of wine accumulated in a corner of the room. The rest of the company, obviously, didn't find a single wrong thing with it. She was starting to feel sorry about the floor as well.

"Kili? Do you happen to know what happened to more than half of my pipe weed?" Fili raised an eyebrow at his little brother, holding a little bag on his hand, eyes fixed upon the pipe on Kili's hand.

"Nop" The youngest one looked innocently at his brother, and she rolled her eyes "You sure you didn't use it already? Maybe you forgot about it"

"I'm pretty sure I didn't" Calmly he placed the bag inside the bigger one, rising from his place and walking towards the other archer of the company, an almost frozen smile on his face when he stood just in front of him "But you know what you did forget, dear little brother of mine? The fact that you had already used all of _yours_" And it was on for them.

Sighing and shaking her head, Bilbo walked by Balin who was sitting on the chair that he apparently had claimed as his own, pipe in hand and eyes deep in thought.

She could remember her grandfather looking at that, from her father's side. The Baggins were respectable hobbits, and so her grandfather had been a great hobbit. She had seen that look on his face many times, that was what she could remember the most about him. Bilbo didn't dare to ask about it, looking at some other way; Nori, Dori, Gloin, Oin, Bifur, all doing the same things they did out in the wild. Even Ori, sitting by the window with his book still open by his lap, hand still flying over the page so fast she could barely believe the lines made some kind of sense, but when she went closer silently and looked over his shoulder, she was left open mouthed at what she saw.

"That's beautiful, Ori. You are amazing"

He jumped in his place and she started apologizing, and thank the Valar the drawing had not been ruined. She apologized again when he calmed down.

"Thank you, Master Baggins" The young dwarf blushed at her words, and she couldn't help realizing that it actually was the first time to talk with him directly since that night at Bag End. Ori was a quiet one, sitting calmly besides the bonfire and his brothers, his hands always busy with something, that being or his book or a drawing or knitting. She herself liked knitting, and so she had been tempted many times to start a conversation about it, but showing too much interesting on it would maybe me suspicious and so she preferred not to. Ori was a special case for dwarfs, she thought, a special case for the company. The hobbit liked him without that anyway, reminded her of calmness and innocence, a different innocence from the one you got when you looked at Kili.

It was refreshing.

"And you got every single detail" That last part was almost mumbled because she was busy checking with the view in front of them, and then back at the drawing again. Damn, and she thought she was good at something. Suddenly having a ridiculously good accuracy didn't seem so surprising anymore; maybe she should ask Ori to teach her a little bit, and maybe she could drag Kili as well. Valar knew that boy needed to occupy his time with something besides pranking.

"You like this place as well, Master Baggins?" The younger one looked with a slight blush still on his face, a shy smile on the corner of his mouth.

"I do" She smiled at him, looking from the drawing to the window again. This time she stopped there, noticing the gray hat and staff almost immediately, standing straight when both Gandalf and Elrond walked closer to their balcony just on the path below. It was the first time she had seen him since dinner, since she had preferred to stay with the rest of the company to accompany Thorin to the meeting with Elrond regarding the map, like Balin had suggested- The look he had on his face when she said no told her he already knew her answer. It was nice having near someone so aware of how uncomfortable she felt being in the same room with Thorin and any elf in general.

But this time she was not thinking about that.

This time she was thinking of going there, and ask for something that most probably would make her life change.

She had been thinking about it ever since Elrond walked her back to company, just when Gloin sat her down beside him and demanding her to tell him about everything she had been told, thing that she hadn't been able to answer. She had been thinking about the dinner and the bridge, she had been thinking about the scar and Bofur's word, she had been thinking about all the strange things in her life and the humming that she could still hear, like it was _real_.

She just needed to make sure that it wasn't. And the only thing she needed, was ask for an answer.

Taking a deep breathe, she shot a quick look at Ori "Hold that thought" And then she went for the side stairs that lead almost directly to where the two of them were walking.

"Bilbo? Where are you going?" Kili asked from his spot in one corner, pipe in hand and resting against his bag.

"I'll be back in a minute" She called over her shoulder, her feet already touching the first step of the stairs. She went down the first and second section, peeking in their direction to check they hadn't disappeared get. They were almost completely out of her sight, and so in an attempt to stop them she placed her hands on the railing, ready to say something; there almost was a rush of adrenaline in her veins, the intensity of her request burning insider her head and her chest and the weight of the possible answer on her shoulders. It was there, on the second before a word left her mouth, that her ears picked up their conversation.

They were talking about the dragon. They were talking about the quest. And they were talking about Thorin, putting his name in the same line with 'sickness' and 'lost his mind'.

It was a conversation she didn't want to hear, and she realized that the Gandalf insisted on their quest and she could actually hear it, when Elrond pointed out from Thorin's family that she obviously didn't know before. It was not something she was expecting to hear, and it was not something she was liking at all- It actually made her almost sick, knowing that someone as wise as an elf found their goal impossible, and their procedure pointless. It all become worse when she heard a single noise behind her back and when she turned around, there was Thorin Oakenshield, looking pass her and at the wizard and the elf.

The seconds it took him to look at her were really tough seconds in which she didn't know _what the hell to do_.

"Master Baggins"

When she was about to speak she realized there was a knot in her throat. Why? No idea.

"Master Oakenshield" He nodded at her.

And it was silence.

Actually, it really wasn't in general, just between the two of them. She could hear Gandalf and Elrond's conversation just there, almost loud and absolutely clear, and it only made the silence between them even heavier. Bilbo pressed her lips into a thin line, trying to avoid looking at his face and the expression that would surely be there; the lord elf disapproved on their quest, and that just made the whole situation worse. Even before she even thought about turning around and walking inside the room where everyone else was, her body was almost already turning around to do just that, but surprisingly enough it was Thorin's voice and words what stopped her on her tracks, hand still on top of the railing.

"Balin told me about the scar in your head" Bilbo almost winced at the severity of his tone, though his face slowly morphed into a calmer expression after a few seconds- It was the first the first time he had looked at her with that expression to that point. The scowl had left his face, as if the fact that she had a scar the size of her hand on the side of her head was the only reason he would _forgive _her for knowing elves, or for speaking their language "Is it true that you have forgotten some things about your past? About those elves?"

"Would it make a difference in the way you look at me? Like I had just insulted your forefathers or something like that?" Maybe it was unfair to pull that one and maybe she was being childish by taking it personal, even after hearing from almost everyone that just was the way Thorin was, so it was not really against her. But she was still pissed. And surely he noticed in the way she glared at him from where she was, having to look up just to reach his face- Didn't matter if she was shorter than her, she was not going to be intimidated after meeting those trolls "I suppose it will not" She gritted her teeth, frustrating filling her whole being, taking the first step towards the stairs.

"Wait"

To tell you the truth Bilbo didn't know what actually made her stop, the fact that she was preparing herself to snap at him and say every single curse she had learned along the way or that he had said that without actually screaming, yelling, or making it sound like some stupid and senseless order like most of the time. Or even, it was the fact that when she faced him willing to say everything that would come out at that moment, he wasn't glaring at her like she was used to seeing.

"Thank you"

Bilbo blinked.

Once.

Twice.

She even brought a hand up to pinch her arm, and it didn't matter she probably looked ridiculous doing so.

All right, it was not her imagination.

"I beg your pardon?" But that didn't exactly stopped her from asking anyway, and sure as hell didn't stop her from making it sound like he had just proclaimed his love for elves; in any other situation, or any other person, the impossibility of that would be hilarious. Thorin looked awkward enough as it was, standing there at an arm lengths while he was obviously looking for the words to use, actually seeming as close to embarrassed as she had never seen him before. Now, she realized that she had, in fact, not really seen much.

"For that time, back when the first two scouts appeared. I would have been wounded if you had not shot at the warg to the ground. I'm conscious of that" Thorin nodded at his own words, apparently finding some of the confidence that had abandoned him for a moment. He didn't look dead serious anymore, but there was an air of diligence and diplomacy. He could really fool anyone… _No, no, he's actually trying to say something nice… I think_ "So… thank you" He bowed his head a little bit, his eyes never leaving hers and thus showing Bilbo that he truly meant what he was saying. It was the same look he had given her before, that day at the bonfire, when he had just walked away and said nothing- But this time around he did not walk away, and he kept talking "If there's anything you wish in exchange of such a favor, please, do tell me"

She wondered if she should be offended.

Some people, people just like Lobelia, used to do things in order to be repaid for. Bilbo sometimes was immensely grateful for knowing that type of woman because it showed her exactly what she didn't want to be ever in her life, and so having heard those words she wondered if she had done it wrong.

Bilbo almost frowned.

"It was the correct thing to do. I don't think my conscience would be clear if I received anything in _exchange_"

It was his turn to blink.

It took her a second to think that maybe and just maybe, it was not that.

It took her a second to think that maybe and _just maybe_ It was the fact that Thorin was not a hobbit but a dwarf, was the fact that she was not a dwarf but a hobbit, was the fact that their cultural differences sometimes was too much, and was the fact that he didn't know she already was a little bit offended by that. It was the fact that she didn't know him, and that he certainly didn't know her. Well… now that changed things.

"I'm sorry" She found herself shaking her head, feeling embarrassed for what seemed the tenth time that day "I'm just not overly found of repayments" To tell you the truth she half expected him to frown, or to be the one feeling insulted, or just nod. She did not expected him to bow his head slightly again.

"I have insulted you again. I apologize" Bilbo blinked, once, twice, and felt an involuntary blush cover her cheeks as she nodded, finding it was very much the only thing she could so. It was _embarrassing_, it really was, and just when he was acting nice to her. Just great. There was a moment of silence after that, and the hobbit was certain the conversation had come to an end- It wouldn't be surprising, for it was more than what she would have expected. She was about to comment how chilly was outside, and how they should walk in when he surprised her by talking again "It was a grand shot"

If she gave it a thought, it would have been nice to say she felt uncomfortable hearing that from him. Thorin was the one who made obvious the fact that even though she was needed as a burglar, he didn't want _her _to come- He was the one who always had something bad or mean to say about absolutely everything she did, and he was the one whose facial expression whenever he saw her was a scowl almost by default. He was the one who had _growled _at her more than two times ever since they got to that place and glared at her even more times. It would have been nice to say that she had _not _blushed pleasantly at the compliment, or that she had _not _smiled because of it.

It would have been nice.

Really would have been.

"It was not such an amazing thing. Kili is the amazing one" Bilbo found herself shaking her head, because she could remember how the young dwarf was the one who pushed her, who encouraged her, and who stayed besides her when the enemy was coming even though he could have ran for it. Truly, the amazing one was him; Thorin nodded, and she could barely see the hint pf pride in his eyes before it was replaced by slight curiosity- She blinked as well, because it had been a sudden change.

"Where did you learn how to use the bow?"

_Don't we all wonder that?_

"That's actually an excellent question. I would love to have an answer to that myself" Actually feeling sheepish was a new feeling for her, and she felt so nostalgic about it she almost didn't grin about. A question that Kili had asked about a hundred of times, a question that she had asked herself even a thousand more times; the answer was always going to be the same in any case, because she didn't like to lie and she was bout about to make up some answer she wasn't even sure about. The day she could actually answer that would be one of the happiest days of her life "You must think of me as some crazy hobbit"

"I would not"

"I came in a quest to kill a dragon"

"Didn't we all?"

There was a moment of silence before she started laughing.

"At that you are right" Bilbo nodded, still catching her breathe "At that you are absolutely right"

There had not been a smile on his face at that moment, nor in the minutes after that when everything was silent again before they both headed inside; there was not familiar tone, there was professionalism and confidence in his posture, but there were no mean words and even more incredible, there were no scowls or glares. Right now, she would take that over a friendly word from any other person, and it did really meant that much.

* * *

_Everyone speaks about the scar. The scar this, the scar that. I'm sure you wonder what was that all about, right? Do leave review with your opinion of it! Thank you so very much for reading!_

**PS: For now I'll just let you think whatever you want and enjoy it until it lasts. **


	7. Chapter 7: Deep Breathe

I'm sorry this took so long! But between my last year of high school and extras like Japanese and MUN, I'm kind of dying over here XD I could write something at least! Sadly, if things keep being as rough as lately, I will update at this rhythm. Im so sorry about it.

I sure hope you like the chapter though!

**A/N: I wanted to thank Madame Cross Marian for beta reading this chapter, she's a brilliant person!**

* * *

"We need to leave."

Nori, bless him, was the only one who actually answered her question and the only one who had seemed to listen to her when she spoke. Bilbo stood by the door of the room that lead to the stairs, watching as the dwarves moved from one side to the other, apparently putting all their things together and into their packs, being amazingly good at not stepping on the fire even though they were running from one side to the other. She had not known what to speak to Thorin about, truly, and so she had been thankful when Dwalin called the leader back inside and stopped what most probably would have been an awkward silence. Or at least she had been happy until she realized it was urgent and it involved all of them.

Startled, she looked from Ori, who was currently trying to force many of his drawings inside his bag to the older brother. Nori seemed not to notice, and since he was actually standing there looking like he could very well be making pleasant conversation about how lovely the night was, she guessed he was truly untouched by what he was currently informing her- Bilbo even dared to say that he was occupying himself by looking at who the others were rushing all over the room.

"Leave? Now?" She blinked at the funny haired dwarf, quite happy he was actually looking at her and paying attention to what she was saying. It occurred to the hobbit that she had not spoken to Nori as much as she could have during the journey, but that was a point she was going to think about after she managed to figure what they were going to do now. The prospect of leaving was, in all honesty, something she could have been looking forward if she had not made up her mind about asking Elrond about her mother and her, and so now that the opportunity of getting out of there fast presented itself, she couldn't help but be a little bit disappointed "Why?"

It occurred to her that the 'careful what you wish for' couldn't be more fitting for that situation, her situation. It would be unjustified to say she thought it unfair, but she still felt frustrated at it and at the chance she had lost. Her and her stupidity.

"We found a note, it was from Gandalf. The message was quite clear," Nori lifted his left hand, showing her the small piece of paper and the slightly messy handwriting, the letters forming an indeed clear 'Leave' that could be understood even by her. Bilbo frowned as she looked at it; was it because of what she had just heard? Was it because Elrond didn't approve on their quest? She didn't question the way that the note got there, for she didn't want to mess with magic, but she could question the decision. She looked up at Nori- He kind of grinned after his explanation, like he found that or whatever he was thinking amusing; it was probably "Nicely enough, at least he told us about it before he just disappeared into thin air. And just when I was starting to like this place" The dwarf sighed and she grinned as well. His words were indeed amusing to her "Not the food though"

And she could actually chuckle at that.

"Bilbo!" Kili basically ran towards them, jumping over Bifur in the process since the dwarf was turning off the fire. The hobbit first looked at the black spot left on the floor and sighed, shaking her head; she wished she could say sorry to the lord elf, and then she looked at Kili and what he was holding. Blinking, she realized the red coat was familiar to her, because, well, it was _hers_ "Here, these are you clothes right? An elf came earlier with them, cleaned and seems to be fixed. They smell funny but at least they're nice. You go change." He handed her the clothes, a wide smile on his face as she looked at him, almost bouncing on his feet in the process "We like you more with your normal clothes on."

"I think your uncle would appreciate it very much if you finished putting your things inside your bag," The star headed dwarf grinned at the younger one, nodding towards said leader. Kili turned his head to look at his uncle over his shoulder, a grimace on his face when he noticed Thorin was looking at his things still on the floor- The smartest thing he could do and actually did was to run as quickly as he could so he could start stuffing everything inside his bag. Nori chuckled, and that made Bilbo look over at him, curious, but then he muttered something she couldn't quite understand; Bilbo could have sworn she heard the word 'puppy' but before she could think about it Nori turned his head towards her, smiling faintly. "You go, Master Baggins. There's little time for it. There's a room with a door next to ours"

It didn't take to be a genius to know that Dori always was the 'caring brother'.

There was no need for someone to explain to her Ori was the youngest of the three for it was obvious in the way Dori acted towards and around him- He was like a mother hen, really, just like she could remember her cousins being, the ones that were already with child, even if they were Baggins. He was always around Ori, watching over him just to make sure nothing bad was going to happen. But then there was Nori as well. He was quiet and he didn't speak much to the others, he stood to the side, his arms always crossed and his eyes scanning about everywhere they faced. Somehow it wasn't a surprise to find out what kind of profession he had thanks to Dwalin, and while she didn't approve on stealing things even though she _was_ in that company as the official burglar, Bilbo thought he was kind.

Just like Dori, Nori was really kind.

"Will do," She nodded, smiled, thanked him and walked out of the room, almost jumping over Bifur who was still sitting on the ground. The moon was high in the sky by that time, gracing them with a certainly unique light. It was the same view of it that she had from her porch back at Bag End she took a moment for herself to just stand there and look at the sky. It was a lovely view, the kind of view that made you understand why there were so many songs and poems about it; but at the end, the moon was not the one she looked at, not the view she appreciated the most.

-_It was wonderful to hear laughter and music around her, as it was to see dancing all around the grand Ball Room, but maybe the most wonderful thing were the countless stars that adorned the sky. Bright. Brighter than anything else_-

"They really are." Her voice was nothing more than a whisper even to her own ears. If there had been someone else near to hear, even an elf, it wouldn't had been noticed. Taking a really deep breathe Bilbo looked down, shaking her head slightly, closing her eyes for a moment and clutching the clothes to her chest "_Not the time for this. Not the time at all_" Just like Nori had said there was a room with a door just besides theirs. There was no lock, and so the hobbit contemplated pulling some furniture against the door so it wouldn't open- Hobbits do love their privacy –we_ll, she did_\- and that had not been a lie at all. But she needed to be quick and so, dropping most of her clothes on top of a chair, she started to unbutton the shirt. It was soft and she missed the feeling against her skin, sighing, but there was absolutely no way something as delicate as that fabric would survive the wild.

Bilbo took a closer look to the piece of clothing once it was in her hands, frowning. It really was a perfect fit for her, and that alone was kind of mysterious, and the slightest bit of worrying. Why would someone as tall as an elf need such a small shirt? There was no way they knew she was coming, and even then, it still was strange. If it had to do with what Elrond had said about her mother, Bilbo was sure she was going to have a panic attack.

Then there was a sound behind her, so small that she had barely missed it.

Later in her life, many _many _years from that stupid second in which she actually turned around to face the now open door, Bilbo was going to remember that moment with a slight smile on her face. She was going to try to remember every single thing of it, of course, just like she was going to try to remember the rest of her journey as well; she would fail at it though, forgetting about the way she felt like crying for a moment as she took a step back while holding the piece of clothing against her chest in a vain attempt to hide what was already obvious. But right now, as she stared and gaped at Fili's eyes and facial expression, she was not paying much attention at how her throat tightened or how a small sniff almost left her mouth when she tried to take a deep breathe to steady her heart beat.

His expression was exactly what would take her whole attention.

To her complete…. Was it horror? Surprise? –_She didn't even know-_ the blond faced the hallway with his hand still on the knob of the door, almost like it what he was seeing was completely normal. The hobbit realized that, even if it felt like it, her arms were not frozen or glued in place and so she quickly turned around, shoving her arms inside the holes of the cloth, pulling it to cover her shoulders and starting to button it up, covering her chest. Even without placing her hand on top of it she could _feel _her heart beating as fast as never before, the constant bumping loud in her ears and it took her a great deal of time to take a deep breathe. That same breathe got stuck in her throat when Fili spoke and she hold onto the trousers.

"Yes, Master Bilbo is safe and sound, he's almost done!" Blinking and clearly not understanding why he was not saying anything, Bilbo half faced the door, finding that Fili was still looking at the hallway. The fact that he had not shouted something along the lines of 'we have a problem' and 'bring uncle' made her uncertainly worried, and that he was still not facing her made her way too nervous "You go back and get your things ready, don't think I didn't notice more than half of your things out of your pack. Uncle will not be happy"

She could practically _hear _the frown in Kili's voice.

"But-"

"Kili, just go"

She started to worry even more. There were a few more exchanged words between the two brothers, some of them she didn't catch because she was trying to figure out just what was happening or what was Fili thinking, but apparently the older got the other archer to go back to the room- When she realized it, Fili was already looking at her and it was hard to hear past her own heartbeat. It wasn't enough to not hear the small sound that made the door when he closed it behind him, taking just a few steps towards her, and it was then when she could see his resemblance to his Uncle.

_He wanted to deal with the problem by himself. For the good of the company, most likely._

Bilbo gulped, absolutely sure that no matter what she said at that moment the outcome would be the same. It was a good thing Elrond had made that offer earlier that day, and at a perfect timing as well.

"Fili-"

"I'm so,_ so_ sorry Miss Bilbo" He was red on the face and to the very tip of his ears, and she could swear it was a giant contrast against his blondness and his braids. If the situation hasn't as awkward as it was Bilbo would have pointed out how it was kind of odd to see him like that, mainly because it was the first time she saw him that embarrassed- She would have mocked him about it alongside Kili, of that she was almost absolutely sure. But there was no way she could do that now, not when he could hardly hold her eyes with his own and she was perfectly aware of why "I swear I didn't mean to, but Kili was already coming here and I really didn't know what else to do."

_…__..Say again?_

"W-What?" If she realized how awkward that situation was, she sure as hell didn't show it or didn't stop to pay attention to it. What good would do, really? Making her so embarrassed she wouldn't be able to speak a word? Bilbo seriously doubted that would be of any help to the situation as it was- She seriously doubted it would do any good to her sanity, or at least to what little of that was left inside herself. Fili cleared his throat, a hand going nervously to scratch the back of his neck.

"I'm just going to stand outside, make sure nobody else comes inside" The blond dwarf turned around, eager to walk away of that situation.

She didn't blame him.

But just not _yet._

"Wait!" Bilbo knew she most probably looked like a mad woman, clutching to the shirt that was already buttoned and her hair a complete mess. And she knew she most probably looked, by all means, like a kid who didn't know what to do. Fili stopped on his tracks and faced her, a slight blush still covering his cheeks "Y-You…" A shaky breathe left her mouth, and the fact that her voice sounded way too high pitched was going to chase her forever and ever-Not even when she was not hiding had she sounded like that, not even when she tried to act all lady like she sounded like that. It would have been nice to say it was embarrassing, but then again, there was no time to think about that precisely "Y-You are not surprised."

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, tilting his head to one side. But this time he didn't look away from her face, she supposed it was because it was an important thing to answer even though it was not a question. There was no space for obvious questions at that moment, no space for sweet coating anything.

"I'm not."

"You already _knew._"

She didn't breathe. She didn't blink. In fact, she was not even sure her heart was beating.

"Yes."

The hobbit was left to pretend as if her heart had not stopped for a moment or two.

"...Oh."

And with that he was out the room, closing the door behind him and probably standing guard in front of it, just like he had said, because he was one to keep his word. Bilbo stood there staring at the door, and before she knew it her knees were touching the floor and her hands were resting on her lap, still holding her father's trousers. _Breathing in, and breathing out, then again_; it was easy to remember, technically easy to follow as well. It was not as easy to hold the nervous laugh that threaten to leave her mouth, and so, it was not as easy to not faint.

She was not sure how she was going to walk out of that room.

And she was so damn sure she was not going to be able to look at Fili in the face any time soon.

* * *

She glared at Fili.

Then at his extended hand.

Then at his face again, at his grin. She narrowed her eyes even more, and his grin became quite wide.

_The nerve of this brat._

"Do you need help with your bags, _Master _Baggins?" And he had the guts to actually repeat the question, his hand still extended towards her, the grin still on his face. She shoot him a warning look, but that only made him chuckle- Now, let's make something clear: He had figured out she was, in fact, a female thanks to the dresses back at her house. That little scene back a Rivendell had been the confirmation he received to get to a concrete conclusion –_You wouldn't have liked anyone else to know about it, right?_-, but no, he wasn't planning on telling anyone. Yes, she had asked why- Although no one had asked and everyone had assumed she was a male, she had not stopped to explain that particular detail either.

The answer had been 'Kili'.

And that was it.

The look that had been in his eyes for about a second or two had been too much, too deep, to full of feeling. She had not dared to ask about it, just like he had not asked about her motives for dressing as a male, though he surely was clever enough to figure that out too. _But_, as the brat that he actually was, after another second –_Maybe even_ **_two_**\- he had found it amusing.

_Of course _he found it amusing.

"No, thank you."

He chuckled again.

She was about to snap.

"Did something happen?" But then Kili came to her side, frowning slightly and holding his bow with one hand. He looked at his brother and then at Bilbo, and then at his brother again, like he was trying to figure out something extremely complicated- It occurred to her that Kili, even though not as sharp as Fili, could have seen the dresses as well and could realize that she was a female at any moment. That thought didn't make her comfortable, because it was _Kili_, the happy puppy like _Kili; _maybe the reason why Fili didn't want to say anything was because Kili, more than anyone else, would be hurt that she had lied to him.

"Nothing, little brother. Just amusing Master Baggins and myself." Fili laughed and Kili pouted. Bilbo's heart felt as if someone was grabbing it, painfully aware of her situation regarding the young archer. At some point she was going to tell them, or they were going to find out, and sooner or later he was probably going to hate her.

It was not something she was looking forward to.

"You two stop bothering Master Baggins and keep going."

Bilbo froze.

"Yes sir!" Called the two brothers before walking towards their uncle, Kili still pouting and Fili still grinning. The hobbit forcefully turned her body away from the leader, realizing that if Kili would be the one hurting the most then _Thorin _would be the angriest one of them all, and it was not a thought she was happy having, not now when she realized he didn't currently hate her as much as she had thought. If he found out, and Gandalf wasn't there to explain the situation to him since it was his idea, the probabilities of Thorin Oakenshield cursing her in every single language he knew were quite high.

_I don't want that._

_I definitely don't want that._

She focused then on the view in front of them, of what they were leaving behind. Rivendell was beautiful under the suns first rays of light, and she had not expected anything else- Not even the waterfall was as bright as the walls and the bridge they had crossed twice, the bridge she had the feeling she had crossed even more times. What was she leaving behind? A place she barely knew? A lord that despite kind, was nothing more than a stranger? It didn't feel like that, not in the slightest; she could hear the lullaby and see sun rising upon the stars, she could feel the hand on her head and see the kind smile on an elves face.

"Master Baggins" Thorin's voice called from behind her, and when she turned to face him she was surprised at how close he was, just a few feet away. He didn't do as much as blink when she found his eyes, his expression as solemn as always "We have to leave as much distance between us as we possibly can." The leader half nodded towards the group and how she almost was the last one in the long line. Bilbo opened her mouth, but when she realized she didn't know what so say she closed it again- It wasn't going to make any good, right? To talk about what she was thinking, and about what she was _seeing_ was not going to do any good.

The hobbit thought about that.

"Coming!"

And so that was the only word that actually left her mouth, just after she looked at Rivendell once more. She didn't drag her feet when she started walking again, but she felt heavy as she walked pass Thorin and right besides Balin, her eyes firmly fixed on Bombur's back. It wasn't because she felt guilty or sad, but because she felt as if something important was being left behind.

Maybe that was it.

"It was a nice place." Surprised, she found Ori walking beside her when she turned her head around, his book under his arm and a slightly sad look on his face, looking by all means like a kid that was being dragged away from some sort of game. Bilbo chuckled, smiling a little bit at what she saw in those eyes- Ori could draw a rock and make it as beautiful looking as Rivendell itself, but he probably was going to miss a view like that anyway. When the hobbit thought that she was going to miss it as well, she thought of faraway music, long tables and a long since forgotten lullaby.

_-And because they were not meant to stay there, she could see the bridge once more on their way out.-_

"It really was."

But if she hadn't known it was important in the first place, then maybe something even more special was waiting ahead.

* * *

"You took what?" The hobbit blinked, open mouthed and sitting beside the fire, as Kili took several arrows out of… somewhere and placed them inside her quiver, She didn't even know where he had been keeping them, and suddenly, as she saw his own quiver full once more, she didn't want the answer anymore. The arrows were beautiful though, maybe just a little too big to be comfortable- She was going to need to practice with them if she pretended to be able to use them again in battle or while running away from oversized puppies.

"They are perfectly capable of replacing them." The dark haired dwarf struggle a little before grinning, placing her things back in place besides her bag. He walked towards them and stood behind her, looking by all means like a kid who was proud of something he did "We don't have that chance out in the wild." He defended himself when she raised an eyebrow at him. Bilbo shook her head.

"You cheeky brat."

He grinned again.

"It's part of my charm."

"What charm exactly?" Fili's hand appeared out of nowhere, dragging his brother's head with him until they were both sitting down a few places away from her. The blond dwarf glanced a Bilbo a grin of his on playing on his lips, and she fought really hard not to snort at that, quickly looking directly at the fire in front of her. It was kind of chilly, the woods around them pretty tick, and the fact that there was a small river near by didn't help at all- Her whole being ached, having walked a really long distance since that morning, only stopping for lunch and a brief break, thing that she used to sleep for half an hour or so before someone woke her up.

Sighing, she tilted her head to one side.

It had been a long way, and that meant lots of time to think about anything that would go through her head. In her case it was not something she was thankful for, since the pictures keep replaying inside her mind- If she closed her eyes, it became worse, because if she closed her eyes it became even more real. Stars shinning bright over her head, long fingers caressing a fine instrument… she hadn't asked for marvelous and impossible images, no matter how much she might have wanted them to be real when she was a kid.

A set of rough and quick words distracted her from her thoughts. When she looked around she found Bifur, big and king of scary but kind Bifur, apparently speaking to her. Well, she couldn't really know if he _was _talking to her, but since he was looking in her direction and his hand signs were at her eye level for her to see, she supposed she was being the one he was talking to.

When he stopped and stared at her, she started to feel a little bit embarrassed.

"Do excuse me…" Bofur, sitting beside Bifur, translated for her.

"He's asking what are you thinking," Bifur spoke again after that, the rough words echoing in her ears as her eyes tried to follow the sharp hand and arm gestures. In her opinion his way of communicating, though confusing and completely foreign to her, was brilliant. She had noticed it was tough even for the other dwarfs to understand what Bifur wanted to say most of the time, but it didn't make it any less interesting. Most of the time when he did that she tried not to stare too much, just to not make him uncomfortable or upset about it. Bofur translated again "He says you often look dazed by many things."

"Do I really?" She blinked, processing that new information. So it was even more noticeable than what she thought, and that was worrying "I'm just…" It was not a surprise when she had to close her mouth after saying the first words, not knowing what to say at all. Was it okay to comment that she had strange images crossing her mind as they pleased? Images that were from dreams, or dreams inside dreams? It was not something she could answer directly without raising even more questions than the ones she already had. That wouldn't do- That was not going to make it any easier "I'm just thinking of Bag End." And so she choose to say that, pressing her lips into a thin line.

"Homesick already, Master Baggins?" To her surprise it was Nori who spoke next, sitting just a few feet from her, just besides Ori.

She managed to grin at him. "Not yet." He chuckled and Bofur laughed, cheery as always. Bilbo pretended to think, tilting her head to one side with a finger under her chin. The funny but at the same time sad part was that she actually thought of her house and her arm chair, her porch and even her annoying neighbors, but at the same time she remembered her cousins and so it was easy to smile while looking at her companions "Though I do miss my books. Not terribly so, but I miss them." They laughed again, and Ori even smiled brightly at that, still looking at the book in his hands.

"If you want to go back in one piece, being only what you are now wont do." Dwalin's deep voice surprised her so much she almost jumped out of her place, being too close to cracking her neck when she turned her head around, looking at the tough dwarf over her shoulder. With his arms crossed over his shoulders, he looked positively intimidating, like he always looked and so it was not a surprise or something that made her nervous anymore- What made her nervous was the fact that he was looking directly at _her_, speaking to _her_, thing that in normal basis just did not _happen_. That as itself was a sign that something was just not right, or that something was going to happen.

Did she do anything intelligent about it?

"Excuse me?"

No, she didn't.

"Follow me." He motioned for her to stand, and the only reason she did so was because of how confused she was by that petition. If she saw Kili and Fili almost squealing from their seats, she didn't saw a single thing about it; instead, jumped over the rock she had been resting her back against, noticing how the sky was slowly turning darker and darker. Night was going to be upon them soon enough. But Dwalin was still there, at the small space besides their camp.

"What are we doing?" Since she didn't have a single idea of what was going on the only option left was to ask. It was kind of pointless though, since a second after the dwarf walked towards her things, pulling out something from besides her bow. When she realized what it was and started making connections, the color started to slowly fade from her face.

"You happened upon a letter opener big enough for you to call it sword- You are _not _going to let this opportunity pass" Dwalin took the, for him, small sword in his hand and placed it in hers before turning around a walking only a few steps away from her, turning the sword in his hand more than once before he faced her again. Bilbo was standing there, sword in hand, blinking at the dwarf that was obviously enough preparing himself for actual training. _Holy cow, he's serious_. She started sweating "On your guard, Burglar."

"I don't think this is-"

The first blow came from her left.

She jumped out of its way, barely missing the pointy end and it had been so damn closed to her side that it made her heart jump even more than usual. When she looked up at Dwalin again, eyes fully open and mouth hanging from its place, he was actually nodding in something close to approval, his eyes narrowed at her and in the way she was now clutching to her sword.

"At least you have good reflexes." Now, mind you, that was the closest thing to a compliment he had directed to her ever since the first time he knocked on her door, and it was so sincere and in place that she actually wanted to smile at it, but since he was still holding his weapon and he seemed to be contemplating what to do next with it, she saved it for later "But I'm not looking for your archers reflexes. Come on!"

The second blow came from her right, and this time there was no time to jump out of the way. Her own sword came up, and when the hobbit realized her hand was the one holding it steady in place, blocking the larger weapon, her mouth opened slightly. Cheers could be heard in the background, Bofur and Kili, maybe even Ori; Gloin was starting to bring out his coin bag, surely starting to see the possibility of getting a few more out of betting. But she didn't focus on that, not even in the slight smirk on Thorin's lips as he watched with crossed arms from besides the fire; the only thing she could focus in was the amused smile and look Dwalin had when she looked up, nodding in total improvement.

She gulped.

"Again!"

Bilbo was sure something was going to hurt in the morning.

* * *

_He watched._

Even if it was asked of him, Thorin would never admit he was the one who asked Dwalin to practice with the cheery and kind Master Baggins.

He didn't know why, certainly not after seeing who well the hobbit could shoot at anything that _existed_\- Even better than himself, even better than Kili, and that last one was saying something. The only thing he could remember about the sword was the moment Bilbo stared at it like it was going to move anytime soon, back when the wargs hadn't appeared yet. There had been something in the way she looked at it that just made him comment on it. There was a long way to go, and arrows were not going to last forever. That was it… but was it really? It surely wouldn't have to do with the small stab of pride that attacked him when he saw the small creature block Dwalin's attack, or evade them when necessary.

The small smile on his lips, surely, certainly, had nothing to do with that.


	8. Chapter 8: Down in deep

Dwalin stared at her.

Bilbo gulped, wondering if she could offend him in anyway if she stared back.

In fact, he was not actually looking at her as a _whole_ or her face_, _but rather the arm that she was using to lift her bag from the ground, still holding the thing midair. She tried not to blink just in case –_of what, she did not now just yet_\- and she tried not to breath to hard until the Dwarf's eyes were back to her face, showing something that she couldn't quite place because it certainly was not amusement, because that had absolutely no sense.

She wondered if, to a mighty warrior like Dwalin who most probably thought Hobbits did not know how to properly hold a dagger or even a cooking knife, it was a bad thing that she had been mistaken the night before and so now she did not feel any kind of pain due to the training, no matter how many blows she had had to block. _She really wondered. _

"Hum" He emitted a sound from the back of his throat and catching her attention, turning back to reach for his own pack and weapons "Your arm must be used to your bow. At least you already had some muscle"

Slowly, she let her mind wrap around the words as if she were scared of what they meant. When she did not find sarcasm in his tone of voice or in his words, Bilbo ever so slowly started to blink. Once, twice, three times, until she was blinking so fast you would thought she was trying to get rid of something that was inside her eye. When the hobbit realized she most probably looked silly she stopped but that did not mean she didn't feel confused anymore. She turned her head around slowly, looking at Fili, who had been standing next to her, packing what was left of his brother's things inside Kili's pack since the younger of the two was currently helping Bombur pick up what they had used to cook breakfast; she did not directly ask if he had heard what she had heard, because she kind of already knew the answer.

"Was that a compliment?"

The dwarf had indeed heard as well, since he too had his head lifted and was looking at Dwalin with a rather funny expression. Sometime later Bilbo would think that maybe Dwalin had not been half as kind when he taught Fili and Kili, and sometime after that she would learn that she had been indeed right, but at the time she just waited for an answer.

But it was not Fili who answered.

"I believe it was"

Startled, Bilbo took a sharp breathe before turning her head around and finding that no, she was not facing an stranger, but that somehow Thorin was standing beside her, holding his sword with one hand and looking as unimpressed as always. _Wait, what's that? _Bilbo was able to focus on the small, almost awkward, look on his face once she recovered her breathe and stabilized her heart beat, and surprise was quickly replaced by curiosity inside her mind.

It was the first time he had looked like that.

Actually, and now that she thought of what he had said before, it was one of the few times he hadn't been sharp while directing a word to her, and deep inside that made glad. Surely the same dwarf who had apologized back at Rivendell, the same dwarf who had –_kind of_\- laughed with her on that stair, could come out more often from now on. For some reason, the thought transformed that gladness into happiness, and so she was not able to hold the smile back.

"Well, that's kind of a first" Maybe it was foolish of her to await an answer that maybe was not going to come, because even if he had talked to her first maybe he did not intent to develop a full conversation about weather or something as pointless.

But to her surprise, and confusion, he said something else after a moment of silence.

"You did well" The King Under the Mountain nodded at her, and the look of pure confusion she gave him must have been quite intense, because then he awkwardly cleared his throat, trying not to look her into the eye "Yesterday at training. You did well with your letter opener" It took her an approximated of five seconds to comprehend that Thorin was actually being kind to her, and it took more to actually react. She was not fast enough, because it had not been but a moment before he turned around on his feet and walked all the way to the other side of the camp, where his things most probably were. What had he been doing close to her place anyway? That was not something her brain was not ready to ask yet; in fact, her brain was not ready to do anything besides making her mutter under her breathe.

"Was that a compliment as well?"

This time _it was_ Fili who answered, and thank god for that.

"I believe it was"

And even though she still was a little bit out of base, she was capable enough to consider his words and nod slowly, maybe too slowly. Taking a deep breathe, the hobbit tried to clear her mind.

"Today sure is full of surprises" The blonde dwarf chuckled at her words, and it took Bilbo a minute to shook her head and decide that she was not going to figure out what had just happen anytime soon, so she set herself to accommodate her pack onto her shoulders. She did wonder why Thorin, out of all the dwarves that were surrounding her, was acting so strange, almost… kindly, and after stopping for a second she wondered if she had in fact done good on her training.

She did not notice the small smile on her face when she thought that if he had said it, then maybe it was true.

If Fili, while helping Bilbo gather her bow and arrows, was the only one to notice the blue eyes following the hobbit's movements and small gentle smile from the other side of the camp, he made sure not mention it to anyone, not even his brother. The smirk should have been enough to deduce that something had amused him very much.

It was much of the same for the days it took them too slowly but surely make their way towards the Misty Mountains. There was a sick feeling at her gut every time she thought of it, but since her mind had not provided any proper explanation of why she should feel like that, Bilbo dismissed it like nervousness of a new place or the possibility of danger after leaving the safe heaven that Rivendell was. Whatever it actually was, it made her curse almost loudly when the mountain came into view, and it almost made her throw up when they were at the very feet of it. **_Almost, but it was too close to be comfortable with it_**_. _

_You would think we would start to climb that thing as soon as we reached it._

Bilbo, wary from something that looked so creepy, glared at the mountain with the corner of her eye, trying not to actually look at it if she could help it. She tried as well to not think only about the bad things, but the good things as well, for example the fact that the more time they spend eating and resting, the longer it would take them to start climbing that dammed mountain.

"Bilbo! Bilbo! Look what I caught!" Kili called for her name as he strode in her direction, strangely coming out of the woods, carrying with him some fishes with arrows sticking out of them in both left and right hand; a few feet behind the young prince, Bofur was carrying quite a few fishes as well. Apparently there was a river nearby, but just how had he found it so quickly? "The arrows are a little uncomfortable, but it shouldn't be a problem to use them regularly" He said once he stood in front of her, almost bouncing on his feet, referring to the arrows that he had 'borrowed' from Rivendell, a bright smile on his face. Bilbo couldn't help but smile widely as she nodded at him

"That's is impressive, I'm sure Bombur will make a fine lunch out of these. Brilliant job Kili" His smile, if possible, was even bigger and his eyes most basically shone at the compliment. The hobbit could only chuckle at that, being reminded of the sight of a child being praised by someone. She heard snickers nearby, and when she looked over Kili's shoulder she found Fili walking towards them, but once he was close enough he said something in a language she did not understand.

Apparently, Kili understood perfectly.

"Take it back, I'm not!" Yelled the younger brother, looking slightly embarrassed as he turned his head towards his brother. Fili just laughed.

"You are so!"

"I'm not!"

"Are so!"

"You act like my cousins" It was Bilbo's turn to laugh and she was glad for the distraction, remembering all the curly heads running down the hill near her Smial when her cousins came to visit, and all the loud laughing and mock wrestling between them, something that had not been stopped by their parents and something that annoyed her neighbors to no end. Bilbo guesses that was one of the reasons why she liked their visits so much "Of the Took side, of course" She added after a moment, comparing those lively Took children to the almost too quite Baggins children, playing moderately at her porch and quietly waiting for dinner. It was almost painful to compare. Bofur turned her head around from his place near the already lit fire.

"Is the first time I hear you talking about your cousins, or your family, for that matter. Well, not counting…." _Your mother _was hanging in the air around them, but since the topic still frustrated her, Bilbo choose to fill the blank in the conversation with something else.

"Is that so?" She wondered out loud, tilting her head to one side. The hobbit grinned at them after a while "I have an awfully big number of cousins. But then again, everyone in The Shire is related either by blood or marriage" She chuckled at the looks they gave her, but continued her short story anyway "My father was a Baggins, that's a hobbit clan, quite respected and wielding an ridiculous sense of property and statues; that's the elders, but the cousins who are closer to my age are not so… stiff" She grimaced "I do know my mother was a Took. They are not so proper, quite a nosy bunch, but it's one of the three largest hobbit clans of The Shire. My mother was Grandfather's eldest child, out of the twelve he had"

"Twelve" Bofur let out a low breathe, his eyes big with surprise, look that other had on their faces at the same moment. That was the moment Bilbo noticed that more than one was listening to her, and it occurred to the hobbit that, indeed, she had not talked about her family that much "Now that's a number we wished to have" Bilbo nodded. She remembered reading about dwarves and how few children they actually have, and she sure remembered her surprise, since it was normal for hobbits to have at least three children with absolutely no problem, she been maybe the only exception.

"You don't have brothers or sisters, Master Baggins?" It was Ori's turn to ask and she was glad that the lad finally was able to ask her something directly without blushing. She had found him to be very pleasant to talk with, and so she smiled at the young dwarf at the same time she shook her head.

"That's quite sad. They give you nieces or nephews like us, to brighten your day" Kili laughed alongside his brother, and if she could have looked at his face, Bilbo was sure she could have seen Thorin rolling his eyes. The hobbit did not doubt the King loved his nephews with all his heart, but she did not doubt that bringing up and living with such prank masters was only achieved through that incredibly big amount of love.

"But I have one" The words were out of her mouth before she could come up with a proper explanation of what she had said that. At the looks that she received from her companions, like she was kind of crazy to say something opposite to what she had just been asked, Bilbo hurried to fill in the blanks "Well, two. One nephew, one niece, and they kind of are my cousins but well, their parents were like siblings to me" Neither of the two dwarves that were just at her side missed the little bit of pain and sadness that was set on the burglar's eyes when the word 'were' was spoken, and so, after sharing a worried look Fili and Kili hurried to make up for it.

"How old are them?" Asked Kili, sounding curious enough to make Bilbo forget about what she was thinking a few seconds before. Fili nudged his brother's side, a smirk on his face.

"Thinking about marrying a pretty hobbit lass, dear brother? That makes me happy" His tone was teasing, and even though it could very well pass as a way of distracting their hobbit, for some unknown reason Kili was a little bit red on the cheeks and the tip of his ears. Blinking a few times, Fili chuckled at the sight, and Bilbo could perfectly hear the muffled laugh of the others.

"Shut up" Mumbled the dark haired dwarf.

"Well, I can't say you would make a bad nephew-in-law, Kili" Chuckled Bilbo as well, earning a begging look from said dwarf. Taking pity of his embarrassed state, red cheeks and ears, she laughed and smiled at him "Okay, okay, I'm sorry. But let's see. We mature a little bit faster than you do, and so we come of age on our thirty three birthday. I think five years for you would be the equivalent of one year for me, so I'd say… you are about ten years older than them, Kili"

"But that's like" He paused, counting just a second inside his head, before speaking again "Fifty in yours, right?"

"That is right" She nodded at him, and then grinned, because there was no way she was going to let an opportunity like that one pass "But well, it is kind of a shame, really"

"What?"

"I wanted a good nephew-in-law, but my niece is too young for you"

Seeing Kili's blushed face at the laughter of the rest of the company, including herself, Bilbo thought that revenge was the sweetest thing ever.

Hours later –_seven hours and thirty three minutes, to be more exact_-, she would remember that moment as the famous peace before the storm.

Most literally.

Like, for real. _She was not joking. _

Bilbo could barely see beyond her damped her, trying her best to pull it out of her face in order to see where she was stepping so she wouldn't fall down the _damn cliff. _If she would have been able to hear over the pouring rain, maybe the hobbit would have been able to listen to Bifur's muttering behind her, even though she was not going to understand it, and she would have been able to hear Kili's and Fili's screaming to each other, just in front of her, but that was not the case and she swore her ears were going to explode anytime now. She felt a hand on her shoulder, and it was the only thing that made her look up from her feet, finding the brother's almost twin eyes looking at her.

"There is a rock in front of us, be careful when you jump over it!" They screamed at her and somehow she managed to actually understand what they were saying. Nodding, she prepared herself when the time came; Kili's hand went from her shoulder to her hand when it was her turn to jump over the middle size rock, and Bilbo had the feeling it wasn't to help her through it, but to have something to pull her if she happened to slip towards the edge.

Safely on the other side, she nodded and smiled as much as possible at him as the thank you he most probably wouldn't hear, making sure that the ones who were behind her made it as well.

"Damn this thunder storm!" Yelled Bofur to the wind, holding down his hat with one hand, and the hobbit couldn't help but snort and agree. She had been _right, _no matter how many times Dwalin or Balin had said nothing too bad was doing to happen to them while climbing this dammed mountain, she sure counted that situation as something _very bad_\- Hell, there even was lighting! The sound echoed through the rock and her bones, through the very air, one after another, and even seemed to be getting lauder by the second.

Bilbo felt it before she turned her head to the open space to see it. The breath taking fear of a threat, and it was quite clear to her when she heard Dwalin screaming and saw what he was referring to.

"LOOK OUT!" A giant stone came flying out of apparently _nowhere _and crashed against the side of the mountain, almost just on top of their heads. They pressed themselves against the rock to avoid the crumbling pieces, and even though she should have been worrying about not falling and not getting hit, her brain was working on something else as her sensitive eyes before anyone else could do it caught sight of a silhouette moving pass the rain. It was already freezing cold, but when she saw what she saw, her heart literally froze.

"THIS IS NOT A THUNDER STORM!" She didn't know if they heard her, but she was pretty sure they saw the rock giant separating itself from the mountain just in front of them. When…. It, he, she? Took hold of another piece of rock bigger than her house, she turned her head to see the other giant at the other side, and her suspicions were correct; at the moment she couldn't remember if someone had told her about it, she couldn't remember if it was some old tail the Old Took had told her, and she could bring herself to care if she had read about it somewhere instead, the only thing that Bilbo knew, was that she could put a name to what was about to happen "THIS IS A THUNDER BATTLE!"

"Bless my soul, the legends were true!"

Bilbo wished they weren't.

* * *

"We should not sleep here"

It was the first thing she said when she stood inside the cave, and it was the first thing she had said since being in danger of almost stumbling down what ended up being the leg of a rock giant to meet her end. Her clothes were dripping with water, her ears hurt and her mind was a little blurred, but nothing was going to stop her from examining the cave. It was beyond what Bombur had set in fire to actually get the cave to warm up, but the fact was that the dwarf did and the others were gathering around the fire, hoping to dry their clothes or at least warm themselves.

She was shivering, but she couldn't bring herself to move from her spot.

"Why? Seems quite lovey and try to me after all of that" Bofur was the one nearest to her, taking off his boots so to get out of the water inside of them. The hobbit stared at him, blinked, and looked at the fire again.

"I…" It was a good question, and it was something she should have had an answer for, but there was not an actual, real explanation of why she didn't want to settle inside that cave or even get near the centre of it. Frowning, she brought a hand to the side of her head, feeling a headache slowly coming to her from the side of her brain, if that was even possible "I don't know…" The dwarf smiled emphatically at her even though she knew he did not understand. Apparently, dwarves did not tend to feel fear for most things and were used to not pay much mind to abnormal things no matter how life threatening they were, except for the youngest of the group, but it was only because they saw it as a tale of their own to tell.

"Don't worry about it lad, is normal for you to feel unsettled" He stood up and patter her shoulder, a smile on his face "Come on, some dinner, _warm dinner _at that, will calm your nerves"

She would have liked to say that she was not nervous, thank you very much, she had been taught not to lie if it was not strictly necessary. There was a stone in her stomach and in her heart, and about everything inside of her was saying that that place was not safe and they needed to get the hell out of that cave before it was too late, but Bofur was already walking towards the fire. Bilbo looked at all of the, technically relaxed and signing, groaning at the headache that she got.

"You should ask Oin for something to sleep" This time she heard his boots before she saw him, and so the hobbit was not startled when she came face to face –_or more like face to chest_\- with Thorin. Somehow between lighting, rock throwing and pouring rain, it felt like an eternity since she last saw him, when they had been in the same group as always, maybe because that was the first time they talked that day. Whatever it was, she found herself looking right into his eyes as the Dwarf regarded her probably pained expression "I believe is hard to get rest when your head hurts" He added when did not answer and keep looking at him, the same expression in her face. A second passed and she signed, wincing slightly.

"You are most probably right" Bilbo mumbled, pushing the wet hair out of her face and frowning at it.

"The fire is out as soon as we get warm enough" Commented the leader, nodding at the fire "You should stay close to it until then" The hobbit seemed to contemplate the option for a moment, wary of stepping deeper into the cave, but there was no way she was going to convince the others to move out and she was already freezing. Frowning again, she looked at him, at his damped state and spoke without thinking.

"Won't you do the same?" He seemed surprise by that and so was she. Didn't she have a filter or something for what came out of her mouth? And when had she thought about that? Shaking her head, she tried to explain herself "I mean, you may be a dwarf, but I don't believe you are not cold" Thorin was silently staring at her again and that made her uncomfortable, wondering if it would look stupid to try and look at something else, if she would look as weak as everyone thought she was despite everything.

It seemed like an eternity until he smiled. Yes, small, but an actual smile.

"Aye, I will do it, Master Baggins"

When Bilbo noticed she was blushing slightly she tried everything in her power to not let it show or continue, feeling horrified because of it and praying Thorin had not noticed. What had just happened and why? No, she was going mad, or going down with a fever, or something else that could explain it. Clearing her throat she nodded, and this time she did look away from his face, mumbling under her breathe a pathetic answer.

"Good"

That was not her night.

* * *

-_She could see the soft blue glow of the dagger from the corner of the eye_ _that was not hidden against the fabric of the dress. She looked up, staring at the face of the one who was protecting her, the face that was so similar to hers as they hide behind a big rock. The other noticed her eyes and glanced down at her, sliming warmly and bringing a single finger to her own lips, signaling Bilbo to stay silent as they heard steps and horrible, horrible noises passing behind the rock-_

Hobbit was taking a sharp breathe even before her eyes were even open. Lifting herself slightly from her bedroll with her arms, she looked around, her breathes quick and heavy and noisy to her ears. The fire was already out and the cold had settled in again, but even with no fire she could perfectly see her companions sleeping around the cave with loud snores. It took a while to notice her forehead was covered in sweat, just like many times in the past when she woke up from a dream she could no longer remember when she opened her eyes, but this time it was different because she _did _remember what she was dreaming about.

That did not mean she understood it, but it was a first anyway.

Brushing the sweat off her forehead she tried to put two and two together, but couldn't. Her mind was a little bit dizzy with what Oin had given her to ease the headache some hours ago apparently, but it was slowly clearing up as she closed her eyes. It was only a dream, another strange dream.

"It definitely is this place" She whispered under her breathe, only audible to her own eyes. Bilbo breathed deeply in an out before standing up and looking around again, stepping where she wouldn't startle a dwarf and end up with an axe on her leg, or falling to the ground, and for a hobbit it proved to be easy enough. Fili and Kili were harder than the others, since they slept in a tangle of arms and legs, but somehow she managed to go over them without even touching a hair; these light feet proved to be extremely handy.

"Can't sleep, Master Baggins?"

_Scratch retaking their Kingdom: His mission in life is to give me a heart attack._

With a hand on top of her chest and a look that was closer to annoyance than to surprise, Bilbo slowly turned around to look at the dwarf that was sitting with his back against the cave's wall, calmly watching her like it was the most normal thing in the world to startle people like that. Wasn't Bofur in charge of the first watch? Had she slept for so long? Bilbo did not think it was that but she did not ask anyway, staring as the smoke came out of Thorin's pipe. It occurred to her that it smelled awful and that it did not compare to the peep weed her father used to smoke, Old Toby, but it was not something she needed to comment either.

"I need fresh air" It was a lame excuse but it was a true one. She needed to clear her mind a little, go to sleep after. Thorin brought the pipe to his lips again, and it occurred to her than even though her voice had not been more than a whisper, he was awfully silent for someone so large.

"For a moment there I thought you were running from us" It was usual to see Thorin with his serious or neutral face, but to hear him make something that she thought was a joke, was new to her. So new that it actually took a moment for her brain to make her smile and chuckle slightly at that, even though he was still as serious as ever. They didn't exactly have a friendship, or so she thought, but it was nice he was comfortable enough around her to make that kind of comments.

"And go where exactly? Is not like I would make it down the mountain, or so I believe. I don't think I could survive another Thunder Battle" Grimacing at the thought, the hobbit shook her head. They had been lucky, _way _to lucky to have made it that far without losing anybody to the circumstances, not only the orcs but the numerous accidents they had encountered as well, and she was lucky to not have received any serious injuries herself. He tilted his head to the side ever so slightly.

"Fitting name"

"It kind of sounds silly, now that I think about it"

After that it was, for the first time, a comfortable silence. She took the change to walk closer to the entrance of the Cave, taking in the needed clean and fresh and even cold air of extremely early morning. The sun was barely touching the horizon, but soon enough it was going to light the whole sky and they were going to move out of that cave and everything was going to be fine, or so she hoped. Signing, she tried to not think about the strange dream or about the fact that it had been a long time since she last had something like that, and maybe it was time to try and look for an answer to it.

She had to ask Gandalf, just like she had meant to do back in Rivendell. And she would do so as soon as she they saw him again.

"Are you alright?" It was strange to hear that specific dwarf asking her something like that. When she turned to look at him he was already looking at her face, like he had been looking for a while now "My ears may not be as sharp as yours but I heard you waking up abruptly a few moments ago. Nightmare?" The question left her quite surprised. It was the first time someone notice, maybe because it was the first time someone had been there to witness it, but it was new. Bilbo smiled at him, taking a few steps closer.

"More like strange dreams" She commented, and at the look in his face, she elaborated "Dreams that don't make sense, at least not to me. Sometimes I think I'm going crazy" Thorin nodded, seeming to think about her words.

"We all have moments like that"

Now that was something she could tilt her face at.

"Even you?"

The leader seemed amused with her action and her question, his eyes telling her so even though there was nothing but a thin, really small smile on his face. His shoulders were not tense, and his other hand was a little bit farther from his sword. Bilbo took it as a good sight, a sight that actually made her heart warm up a little.

"Yes, even me"

"That sounds unbelievable"

"Why so?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but when they both caught a sound that neither of them was making, she automatically shut it. Looking around, their eyes found a line been drawn on the sand around all of them, like a circle of some sorts, almost like it was going through the floor.

Her breathe got caught in her throat.

-_steps and horrible, horrible noises passing behind the rock_-

"Wake everybody" Bilbo almost whispered, lifting her head to look at Thorin with horrified eyes "Now!"

It was too late.

Her voice was muted by the sound of rock and dwarves and arms and a single hobbit falling through what looked to her for a second like a giant whole made out of rock, and it was so quick that she almost did not feel her stomach being left behind. They slide through most part of it, crashing against almost too sharp edges in the process and hitting themselves with each other from time to time, their screams echoing through the thick walls up and down the tunnel. It was not too long, but it was deep, and so she embraced herself when she saw some light from beneath them for it meant an exit and that meant a strong impact against something hard that could cause bruises or broken ribs or both.

Hopefully, they wouldn't get neither.

Hopefully enough.

She felt bad for landing on top of all of them but at the same time she was glad she was not the first one to land on top of the wooden platform, surrounded by thick metal sticks that were roughly made but served their purpose well enough. Stars flew in front of her eyes when the back of her head hit something of iron Bombur under her was wearing, but it was not enough to make her deaf to the shrieking sounds that came from the bridge just besides them. Horrible, horrible sounds indeed. Her eyes caught sight of the awful creatures just before they took a hold of all of them, screaming at the dirty, deformed hand that grasped her arm and pulled her to the ground without a single care in the world.

"Let go of us!"

"We will kill you!"

"Stay away!"

She felt like a doll being treated carelessly, wincing when more than one punch and push found their way to some part of her body, mostly where her ribs were. There was almost no air, and even when she struggled with all her might, it did little to the goblins pushing them towards the bridge. She tried to take a hold of her sword but it was nearly impossible at that moment, and so Bilbo found herself looking around for something that she could use to defend herself, finding Dwalin, who was just in front of her in the line the goblins had managed to make with them, turning around and pushing with all his strength, making her stumble in the process and fall to the floor.

"Stay away from us!"

From all the screaming and the voices around her, that was something she picked up rather quickly. Looking up and to her right Bilbo saw Ori and Kili with their backs pressed together, pushing off them the creatures and trying to get hold of something sharp, just like her, but that was not the only thing she noticed about them. She noticed the edge that was worryingly close to their feet, and almost as if to punish her for noticing, the goblins that were currently attacking the youngest ones pushed them a little bit too hard, but it was enough.

"KILI! ORI!"

Bilbo was on her feet in less than a second, pushing with strength that she did not know she had whoever or whatever tried to stop her from the edge. She was in time to take a hold of Kili's hand, but since most of their bodies were out of the platform already the only thing she got do was to get dragged out of it as well and down to the darkness.

"Bilbo!"

It was not the first time she had heard Thorin scream.

But it was the first time she heard him say her name.


	9. Chapter 9: In and Out

Well, surely that last chapter received a warm welcome. **I do wonder if I can get eleven or more reviews with this one and get to eighty, that would be lovely.** I kind of have a rule of not posting chapters until I have at least one line of the next chapter, but Im having a really crappy night and maybe I'll have to go to emergencies tomorrow morning so dude, Valar knows I nerd to publish this.

Thankyou all of reading!

**Beta reader: Madame Cross Marian (You have my thanks, for the rest of my freaking life)**

* * *

Bilbo breathed in and out, in and out, and tried to remind herself to keep doing so every couple of seconds. _In and out, in and out, easy enough to remember, easy enough to do it_. Her right arm, even though it hurt from the impact against the ground, gripped Ori's side and her left one gripped Kili's shoulder, bringing both of them against her sides and at the same time avoiding been crushed by their bodies, but refusing to let go. By the corner of her eye she saw the goblin walking just beside them from among the giant mushrooms she had managed to hide them with, looking around for any intruders, looking around for _them_.

_In and out, in and out. _

He stood still for a moment, his eyes looking around. She could see his dirty and ugly nails just inches away from her face, but even if it was one of the most disgusting things she had ever seen in her life, the hobbit couldn't bring herself to even care about it, too focused on breathing.

_In and out, in and out. _

The goblin shrieked.

**_In and out. _**

And walked away with a loud groan, disappearing behind a rock. For a moment Bilbo remained like that, holding her breathe and still as- ironically since out of the three of them she was a hobbit and not a dwarf- a rock until she was certain the thing was not coming back. Releasing a breathe she was perfectly aware she was holding, the hobbit tried to close her eyes and figure what the hell had she done in her life to deserve something like that happen to her. Maybe it was Lobelia cursing her from The Shire after knowing that Bag End was not to be touched by anyone even if Bilbo disappeared for ten years, or maybe it was some old ancestor of hers from up above, punishing her for being too much of a Took_. Or maybe all of them at_ _once_.

Sighing, she rested her forehead against Ori's shoulder, taking in calming breathes. It wouldn't have been a problem if the three of them had been ready to take care of the goblin, but the problem resided in the little fact that the two dwarfs, who were meant to be as strong and everlasting as rocks, were knocked out because of the fall, and really, how could Bilbo blame them? She had been lucky enough to land on top of the mushrooms, but they had not been so lucky. Lifting her head, she looked at their faces, mouths slightly open and blood reaching her cheeks, probably because of some injury hidden by their head and she felt herself be sick.

Some protector she was, most basically throwing herself after them and being the only one technically unharmed.

"_Water" _Her mind conducted her to think, sitting her body up and releasing the dwarf's bodies in the process. Bilbo's eyes travelled around her when she rose from among the mushrooms, noticing the different paths "_I should find water to clean their wounds_" The hobbit glanced at their faces one more time before standing up completely, shaking her body a little. Her arm hurt just a little bit now, and she believed it was a good thing her sword had been most literally tied to her body before the fall, because there was only one path that was inclined enough to suggest it conducted to where water would flow, and it was the same path the goblin had taken. She missed her bow, but it would have to do.

Thorin had said she had made a good job with her lesson.

Maybe it was foolish of her, but she held onto those words as she started to walk, preferring to ignore that lessons where not close to real life. As far as foolish things went, it was not the most Tookish thing she had done so far; she preferred to ignore as well the fact that she had not killed anything besides animals in her life_, but goblins are not far from it. They don't need to be different right now_. There was a raw voice whispering in her ear about protection, but there was a headache behind it so she chose to ignore it and keep walking, and even she could tell it was further inside the mountain.

It was not a long walk, and sure enough there was a water ahead. Unfortunately for her, erasing her smile as quickly as it had appeared in the first place, she found another thing inside that cave.

There was _blood _on the ground.

But that was not what had her frozen on her place. _Of course it wasn't_, because the last weeks she had seen many bloodied things, including her arrows. No, the thing that had her frozen on her place was the body of the goblin besides, _or rather on top_, of the small pool of blood. The same goblin as before. Just to make things clear she did not feel bad for it, but rather, her eyes almost mechanically set themselves on the bloodied rock near its head, where the pool of blood was coming from. It didn't take long to put two and two together.

It took even less time to notice the vicious hiss behind her and turn around.

"What is it, precious? What is it?" The strange voice that she has never in her life heard before, the way of talk that would haunt her for the rest of her days and the pair of wide, mad eyes that looked at her from behind the rock "We have never seen that it before" She took a step back when the creature almost crawled down from its place, moving closer to her. By instinct she took her sword out and pointed it at it, making it stop in its place before moving to the side "Not a goblin, not you precious, what is it? It has an elvish blade, but it's not an elf" How he would, in some strange and quite twisted way, make some sense with those words, she did not know. How could that creature possibly know what elvish blades looked like? In the middle of his coughing, the awful word 'Gollum' coming out quite a few times, Bilbo took a deep breathe.

"My name is Bilbo Baggins and I'm a hobbit. Now what are you?"

"It talks precious!"

It was like she had not been talking to him.

"Of course I talk, you see me doing it now"

"What does it says, precious? Its talks in riddles! We haven't tried hobbitses before. Is it soft? Is it juicy, precious?" When his voice became vicious it made her think about the goblin that laid lifeless between them, and it occurred to her that there was no way she was going to walk out of that place without a fight. But if that creature had taken a goblin down with a single rock, then what could she actually do besides try and knock it out? If anything, she could try and run but she did not want to get lost and the only path she did know lead to Kili and Ori _and that thing was not going to get near them_. Looking around as quickly as possible she spotted different materials lying carelessly near the edge of the water, and, among a couple of _bones_, there was a rope.

It was worth a shot.

"Do you like riddles?" Bilbo tried her best to use the tone that she used with her smaller cousins when she tricked them into leaving her in peace, a smile (a forced one, this time) appearing in her face. The creature –_Gollum_\- stopped and sharply turned his head in her direction, smiling at her as well, if that could be called a smile.

"We likes it! We likes it!"

"Then shall we play?" If there was a chance to get enough time to reach the rope, then she could just try to knock the creature out and tie him up. Risky, yes it was, but it was maybe the only thing she could think about in order to keep him away from where the two dwarves were "Just the two of us"

"Yes, yes. Let's play precious!"

"Okay then, I guess you wouldn't mind if I start?" She took the first step towards her left, the creature moving right, almost as if they were circling each other. Well, it sure felt like he was circling her instead of the other way around. Bilbo tried to ignore that fact just like she had ignored a ton of others "What goes forth but does not go back?" Opening and closing… his... mouth, 'Gollum' frowned and moved around rather erratically, muttering under his breath and sometimes shouting at himself, coughing up the words time after time. Bilbo took care of moving as slowly and smoothly as possible, just to not startle the creature.

"Time?" She tried her best to muster a smile "Our turn, yes?" Gollum did not actually wait for an answer "What has roots as nobody sees, is taller than trees. Up, up it goes, and yet never grows?" The hobbit was left quite surprised at that one. Gollum was smarter than she had originally thought, and the riddle was so well done that it actually took her a moment to think about it; of course, a moment in which she still had her sword held in his direction, just in case.

"Up, up it goes…" She muttered under her breathe, frowning a little "The Mountain" And the hobbit grinned, because somehow her life went around dwarfs on the most random moments. Next thing she knows, she was going to ask something which answer was an axe, or better yet, a brooding king.

"Yes! Yes! Do it again, another one!" Bilbo moved again a little bit more, getting closer to the rope by every step.

"If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven't got me. What am I?"

This time something different happened when Gollum turned around to jump up and down, his head on his hands looking for the answer. A golden thing came out of his pocket in between the jumps, rolling down the rocks until it was almost touching her feet; she was not a dwarf, she did not love gold, but that golden ring was such a strange sight that she bent down a second and took it in her hand, feeling for a single moment that her body had moved on her own. It was a quite simple thing, but to look at it for a long moment was somehow heavy for her mind and to have it on her hand was rather uncomfortable. She brought her hand down with the ring on her palm just in time to see Gollum turn around.

"A secret!"

"Yes, yes, you are completely right"

"Our turn again! Voiceless it cries, wingless flutters, toothless bites, mouthless mutters" She felt sick to the stomach, holding that thing in her hand. There was a noise that continued to buzz inside her ears like someone was inside her brain, whispering something she could not and was not going to understand. If she had to put a word to it, it would be dark, and it was enough to make her want to throw it to the ground; but that would make him mad, and it was going to be a problem "Give up?" Gollum teased, and she did not miss the mad look on his eyes. The hobbit pushed to the back of her mind whatever was trying to take a hold on her and answered.

"It's wind"

Gollum was not quite as happy with that as he had been before, realizing that as much as he loved games, he maybe hated to lose.

"Very clever" Hissing, he took to many steps in her direction, and thank the Valar she was aware enough to bring up her sword against his chest.

"Ah, ah" She stopped him, taking deep breathes. That had been, too close for her liking, and she needed to focus if she didn't want to die inside a cave with a goblin and a mad creature, but there was something that changed her mind even before she could even think about another riddle "What…" The word was already out of her mouth and her hand felt heavy, sweaty, her mind almost dizzy due to the whispers she couldn't very well understand what meant or where they came from. Gulping, she almost, almost, whispered her question, closing her hand tighter around the small ring "What has fallen from your pocket?"

If she had thought about it before she asked that question, then she would have said another thing in order to avoid what happened right after the little creature searched his own pocket and found nothing.

"THIEF!"

He jumped on top of her and pushed her back, and she was too busy with not stabbing herself to notice that she was about to crash against the pile of bones until it was too late and she was already against it. Her eyes unfocused and focused again in a matter of seconds, but to her distress Gollum had already charged for her again. Somehow she saw as well the small gold band almost fly out in front of her nose. Later Bilbo would have blamed her actions to the powerful force that almost took a hold of her, but at the moment, she did not think of anything as she reached out of the ring that was going to be the dead of her. Even though it had seemed sometimes small, sometimes big, it slipped perfectly onto her finger.

And the world around her passed to be a blur.

It was as if everything had slowed down, like she was underwater, with almost the same pressure inside her chest but different at the same time. She could breathe, but she was not comfortable doing so; she could see clearly, but she wasn't sure shadows were meant to be so noticeable; she could hear, but the sounds were slightly lowered to her ears, for example the shriek the creature let out just in front of her, calling for her attention. 'Gollum' was bearing his teeth, his eyes open as plates as he looked around almost fanatically, almost as if… _Almost as if he couldn't see her even though she was right in front of him._

_He can't actually see. _

This time she was able to put two and two together and figure that it was the ring that, apparently, made her invisible to the eye of others. Looking at Gollum's face she thought that if he thought necessary, he was going to get out of that cave and most probably find Ori and Kili, but killing him did not seem like the right answer for it, no matter how much she disliked the vicious look on his eyes, the one that at the moment was replaced by immense sadness. She didn't pretend to use it as an excuse to call herself courageous, and she was fine if Gandalf never got to know about her decision. Her hand took a hold of her sword, so tightly that her knuckles were white. And brought the hilt to the side of Gollum's head.

She breathed in new air when she took off the ring, enjoying the freedom she felt even though she still was inside a cave. Bilbo looked at the golden ring her hand, trying to remember if she knew something about a magic ring, or magic that could turn people invisible in dire situations. She was not a fool, she knew there was no way a normal ring would have slipped in her finger as easily as it had happened just a few seconds before, and she knew a normal ring did not whisper things into your ear. But this time it was quite clear what the words meant, even if she never wanted to find out.

**_We will kill him. _**

_Kill who?_

**_We will make him pay. _**

_Who are you talking about?_

**_Pay, pay, pay, pay, pay. We will make him pay. We will have revenge._**

There was a big shadow on her mind, the one she had nightmares about when she was little. A great figure with weapon in hand, raised high above his head, the figure that had haunted her many years of her life. She was not going to go back to those sleepless nights, there was no way. Shaking her head, she stood up.

"I don't know what the hell you are talking about," she decided and tucked the ring inside her pocket, making sure it wouldn't get out. Gandalf had quite a few things to explain to her next time they saw each other, and if she had to bring that damned thing with her to show the wizard what she meant, she was going to do so. Besides, she had the feeling Gollum was best without it.

"But you will not have such thing as revenge."

* * *

"Ori?"

The named lifted his head at the sound of her voice, looking around the cage quickly so to find her fast. When he did spot her coming out of the path, Bilbo could perfectly see how tense his jaw was and how unsettled he looked, but at least he was alive and had no more injuries than the ones she had last seen. Kili was lying by Ori's side, still unconscious but looking the same as well, she guessed Orin must have taken him out when he woke up. Relieve filled her chest and a smile appeared on her face.

"Master Baggins?"

"Oh, thank the Valar, you are awake. Are you alright? Something broken? Are you in pain?" She walked closer to him, a piece of wet fabric in each of her hands.

"I… I should be the one asking that? Are you hurt, Master Baggins? Not to offend, but hobbits are… softer than we are, so…" The lad seemed disoriented, flurried with the situation as he sat there on his knees looking up at her face. To Bilbo he looked like a lost kid, but it took a moment to remind herself that despite everything and despite the differences of their races, he was not a kid like her cousins where; maybe younger than her, but not a kid at all "Where have you been? Is not safe to walk around this place" He frowned at her ever so slightly.

"I'm perfectly fine, believe me. And I was looking for water, found some nearby" Kneeling besides him, she slowly pressed the wet piece of cloth against the side of his head. He hissed, probably noticing for the first time the fact that he had a wound up there, but looked directly at her face nevertheless, quite bewilderedly "It was a nasty fall, and unfortunately you two took the worst of it" She tried her best to be gentle with her hands are she tried to take the blood off his face, but it proved to be a difficult task. Bilbo didn't know how much pain dwarfs could manage, but she was not going to test it nor was she going to count on it "I will just wait for Kili to wake up to do the same. Only god knows what could have gotten into that injury" It was like she had reminded him of the other person, the one that was still unconscious on the floor by his side.

"Kili!" Ori reached out to grab Kili's shoulder, moving him as if he were to wake up from a normal dream "Kili, come one, wake up"

"Don't move him" The hobbit stopped him, placing a small hand on his shoulder. The dwarf turned his head to look at her "I know dwarves are hard to injure, but I don't know how hard he hit his head, it can be dangerous to move him like he is now" There was a moment of silence in which Ori looked between Kili and Bilbo, and she let him do so for a moment before he brought his hand back. She smiled, and once again, he looked at her "Don't worry, everything is going to be okay, there is always a way to turn things around"

_Or so I hope. _

"Too loud…"

The mumbled voice made the two of them look down at the third person, finding that Kili was moving his head from side to side and opening his eyes slightly, just like he had been waking up on any other morning. It almost made her laugh, but she settled for teasing.

"And here I was worrying myself, I know now to not worry if any of you happen to hit your head with something. But would you look at that, the sleeping beauty is finally awake. Did you have a nice dream, Kili?" The dark haired dwarf looked up at both of them from his place in the ground, probably trying to figure out what was happening. Once the memories of the fall settled in his brain, there was a grimace on his face as he sat up, not minding at all the wound on his head.

"I do not appreciate waking up to so much sarcasm"

She blinked innocently.

"Why, if I had been sincere"

They both snorted.

"Where are we?"

"As you can see there are tunnels inside the mountain." Bilbo cleaned his head wound as well, taking her on not being too rough. After a moment though, she turned her head around and smiled at both of them, grinning even, trying to light up the mood now that she knew they were going to be just fine "I believe you two are better than me at navigating inside a mountain. We fell quite deep inside it, but if luck is in our side, it won't take much longer." Kili nodded a little.

But Ori was not better than before.

"It could have been worse." The scribe mumbled under his breathe, his hand grasping tightly the fabric of his pants. The hobbit blinked at him, sharing a look with Kili before nodding slowly, clearing her throat.

"Yes, I guess It-"

"No, I mean we could have been killed." He said a little bit louder, not yelling but loud enough to be close to it, and it was the first time in the whole journey that she had seen Ori –sweet, quiet, young and talented Ori- interrupting someone. She was so surprised that Bilbo could only sit there and stare at his face with her mouth shut, noticing that he was rather upset over the subject. "I saw it before falling, there was a sharp edge just under us. You pushed us enough to not fall on top of it, but you were so _close_ yourself..." Ori looked at her face, almost daring her to deny it. So he had noticed, she thought, recalling the multiples edges she had been so afraid of as they started falling. Of course she remembered them.

"Yes, I know"

He almost broke down at that.

"Then why?"

The hobbit looked at his face, almost pained and very upset, and then to Kili's, that did not look as upset as Ori was but conscious enough of what had happened, deep in thought. The hobbit sighed. As an answer, she quickly pressed the wet piece of cloth torn from her shirt against the wounds on their heads, making them hiss both in surprise and pain, taking them with low guard and giving both a strong look, the one she remembered her father using when she became upset over other people's words about her name.

"You would have been found by a goblin if I had not been there to hide you both" The hobbit revealed and the two dwarves went wide eyed at her words. She did not chuckle, did not laugh, but smiled instead, a small smile that could barely be compared to some others she had directed to them through their journey "And if I had stayed up there, I would have had to see your family and friends worry over you and being left with nothing to do about it. I would have that fall every day, Ori. There are just so many things you can risk your life for, but I don't exactly have a list of them, nor I pretend to make one"

They looked at her like most of her cousins from the Baggins side looked at her, mostly when their parents whispered about how they should behave like she did just half of the time, because the other half she was nothing more than a trouble maker. Those kids had looked at her like they looked at the Tooks themselves, like they were another race not so different from them, like they were weighting the possibilities of playing together until an grown up came to bring them inside the house. Bilbo supposed it was the same look she had given books when she was younger, the books about adventures and about faraway places.

"You are a weirdo, Maser Baggins."

Yes, that just what her cousins had said as well.

"That I am, that I am. But you are stuck with me anyway!" This time, Bilbo did laugh and Ori did smile, and it was a pretty good moment until the three of them heard screaming –horrible screaming- coming from down the path she had come from, and the hobbit made a face while cursing mentally. She had expected Gollum to be displeased when he woke up to find he had been tied to a rock and many, many bones, but she had expected him to wake up after they got out of that particular part of the mountain. "It must be a goblin," she lied almost too easily, standing to her feet. "Let's move and find the others. Now!"

Even if you don't believe her, Bilbo had not expected Thorin to greet them with a smile.

She had expected him to sigh in silent relief as he saw them approaching the company, voicing that they were indeed alive. She had expected him to pointedly look at his nephew's head and the little bit of blood that Bilbo hadn't had the time to completely clean off, and then he would call for Oin to check them over, "_just in case_". She had expected him to stand a little bit closer to Kili as his head was examined, just like Fili was probably going to do, as Dori fussed over his little brother and Nori stood at his side. She had not expected Thorin to greet her in the same way, no matter how their relation had grown the last few days, maybe a nod and that was going to be about it and then they would keep going.

The three of them were cautious to get out of the mountain, keeping an eye out in case they heard steps nearby. At the end she had been right and the dwarves had had no problem in finding the way out of the tunnels, and it was fast enough to be greeted by the sun coming down slowly from the sky and into the horizon, orange light painting everywhere around them. Bilbo had been the one to spot, by the grace of the Valar, the company running down the side of the mountain and so they had followed the same path, careful with their steps as they ran as well.

Ori and Kili had taken it upon themselves to bring their attention to them. When the company saw the three of them, there were cheers even coming from the wizard she was so but so glad to see among them, smiles and embraces and pats on the backs even for her. And everything was technically good and temporarily peaceful until she came face to face with Thorin.

She was wrong, she got from him more than a simple nod.

But it didn't necessarily mean it was a good thing.

_Could she say she preferred to go back and face Gollum again? Yes? _

"Why did you do something so foolish!?" She pressed her eyes close, trying to block out how angry he had sounded and how loud the scream had been. She was pretty sure the birds nearby had gone away and everything. To his credit, Kili had tried to talk to his uncle, but the older dwarf had done as much as to shut him with a gesture and continue to _glare_ at the hobbit in front of him. When was the last time she had been looked at like that? Had it been Lobelia? Bilbo was not sure aymore, but she knew she didn't like it. She had not risked her life to be treated like that, but he continued talking anyway "Both Kili and Ori are dwarves, they would have survived without your help! But you? You are but a Hobbit! It is a miracle you are alive! This is not your precious Shire anymore, Halfling! Look at you, still shaking because of fear." There was a vein pressed to his forehead, but the hobbit was not impressed by that at all. There was a frown on his face, his fingers twitching like he was stopping them from grabbing her shoulders and shake her "It's obvious you want to go back. I have more than half my mind set into sending you back where you obviously want to go!"

_That hurt._

_That actually hurt._

_And it sure as hell was not necessary._

"Now listen here, Master Oakenshield," Gandalf, not amused at all by his words, frowned at the dwarf as he moved to stand behind him and the hobbit, most probably preparing a speech that would ending up making Thorin turn around and curse him; she could see from the corner of her eye how Balin was frowning as well, how Bifur was not smiling at it, and that made her a little bit glad but it was not enough. Bilbo took deep breathes, her hands opening and closing in fists, biting her lower lip in order to not scream at him, or maybe in order not to cry. She had done the right thing, she was sure she had, and even if Thorin didn't believe so. It wasn't his problem what she did with herself. Foolish? Of course she was. Just a hobbit? Well, sorry for being born in that race.

It was completely unnecessary.

"You are right"

Even if it was a whisper that sure stopped whatever Gandalf was about to say, or whatever Balin would have thought to say. Every single head turned in her direction as her eyes laid on the ground, on her feet, on his boots, on the roots of the trees. So different from what she was used to. Lifting her head, she looked at his eyes and there she saw her own face reflected. She was dirty and tired, but she even to her eyes, she was not weak.

"I miss my home. I miss Bag End. I miss my garden, my books and my arm chair- Damn it, I even miss my boring neighbors with their daily routine. _Of course_ I miss The Shire, because that's my _home_" Bilbo pronounced every word from the bottom of her heart, because she could picture her smial inside her mind, and she could almost say by memory all the titles she had collected over the years. The arm chair besides the fire, but that particular memory triggered a sad song and deep voices, something about a beast, something about fire and death "And that's exactly why I will not go back"

Now he looked puzzled.

And she smiled.

Because she was good at it, because it was better to do so than to cry, because she had learnt that a long long time ago. She smiled because she knew he wouldn't really understand what a Hobbit would feel merely through words, because they were from different races from different cultures and were different persons with their own minds, but no matter how different there always was a way to convey feelings to other people

-_So she took his hand and tried to smile. Fortunately, he smiled back_-

"Because you don't have one, a home. It was taken from you, in the most horrible way that someone could ever imagine. You are fighting to give your people and your family a home, somewhere where they can be safe." Thorin looked like he didn't know what to do, or like he had prepared himself to be insulted in vain. He looked at her like she was about to throw him something at any moment, like he couldn't quite believe she meant what she was saying. But he was wrong, and she was going to make sure he realized that "I will help you take it back, if I can. So you are not going to see me going back Thorin Oakenshield, not yet."


	10. Chapter 10: Not as bad

Beta Reader: Madame Cross Marian

* * *

Her childhood had been based on running.

Down the hill, up it. Across flower fields, through the woods that were behind her house. Through farms, away from said farm's dogs and its owner because of the mushrooms she may or may not have taken with her. Away from Lobelia, and that could have been the most important aspect of running in her life, because only Valar knew what that woman would have said or done if she had caught up with Bilbo, but that had never ever happened. The hobbit lass had ran and ran –_Running away from anything really, including scary dreams and meaningless fragments in her mind of a life that surely was not hers_-, until she realized her father's health was not going to get any better while waiting for her back at their house, and that skirts for young lasses like her were not meant for running anymore.

Now she was glad she had so much experience running away from threating things, just like Lobelia had been. She was glad her legs and feet remembered so well what it was to run down a hill without ending up rolling the rest of the way down, and she was glad her eyes recalled where to look in order to not fall flat on her face. But she was not glad to see Kili or Fili's worried faces as they ran besides her, or Dori's grip on Ori's wrist as the older brother dragged the younger brother after him, or Thorin's hand gripping his sword as he ran just in front of her. _And you can be sure she was not glad for the Wargs chasing after them._

The howling had been first. There was no moment of silence in which to think about it, there was no moment to discuss what had been said, there was just a moment to look at their back and see wargs running down the side of the mountain towards them, and it didn't take to be a genius to know it wouldn't take them much time reach the company. But it didn't take them much time to start running again either, a thing they seemed to be doing quite a lot lately.

"Bilbo, I have your bow!" Somewhere among the noises there was Fili, yelling at her from… somewhere. She turned around, finally being able of taking her sword out of the damned warg, her neck almost twisting and cracking from all the turns she did, looking for the blonde and dark haired dwarves. They were a few feet away from her, at least Fili, but to her surprise Kili was just by her side. The older of the two indeed carried her bow and her quiver on his shoulder, but she did not find the time to feel happy or at least relieved for it.

"There is no time!" There was Gandalf, most probably making a mental count of all of them as he looked around. The wizard met her eyes for a moment, worry clear on his eyes, before he shouted to all of them, "Up to the trees! Quickly! Climb as far as you possibly can!" And there really was absolutely no time, not even to look properly at the trees they were supposed to climb. This is madness, she thought the same moment she took her first step towards the closest tree, gulping and praying as she began to climb. She saw Kili, just above her, reaching higher and higher and Bilbo wondered if someone as young as he was knew what he would be facing on that quest. She wondered if she knew about it at all.

_-They both tripped over some root their eyes had not noticed before, sending them flying to the ground, arms holding the small girl tightly against her mother's chest. To Bilbo's ears, there was only a twisted version of silence for a second or two, as they didn't stay long on the ground. After that same second or two, they were running again, helped to their feet by the hands of those who accompanied them-. _

Out of the blue, she did not like running so much anymore.

"Up, Master Baggins, keep going"

That deep voice was recognizable in every single situation. More or less because it was the one they all had to follow no matter what, the one that ordered them around the camp, and the one that could be both cold as ice, or surprisingly pleasant. Looking down, she found Thorin's eyes looking straight at her, his hand on her ankle and just then she realized he was the one helping her reaching for the branches with her feet. If she had been anybody else Bilbo would have cursed herself for being so small, the tree for being so tall, and Thorin for probably taking pity on her.

"Bilbo?" There was a small pause for her as she looked up, right to Kili's eyes. Again, she had seen those eyes somewhere, that slight sparkle of fear but great determination; oh yes, on those same eyes, when Kili had charged against the trolls in a kind of interesting attempt of protecting her.

"Straight to the top Kili, don't mind me." If he had the time Thorin most probably would have said something about how she had smiled reassuringly at his nephew, like she, out of all of them, could somehow guarantee his safety. The young dwarf nodded, continuing climbing. Thorin did not comment on it, and she did not do such a thing as cursing herself, the tree, or him. Instead she looked down at the leader, nodding with her head and reaching as far as she could for the next branch, the hand on her ankle leaving her just when she had started a steady rhythm.

_She had not been called Mad Baggins by her cousins for anything. _

"Here they come!" Someone, most probably Bofur, yelled from somewhere high on the trees. On cue a dozen or so of wargs ran around their trees, one or two trying to jump as if to catch them. When most stayed in line, the company cheered, but that was not something Bilbo did. Now, they were climbing onto trees, surrounded by wargs and too close to a cliff, was there really something to be happy about? She doubted it. Because then, of course, came the orcs that mounted more wargs, each one as displeasing to the eye as the next one, grinning horribly and disgustingly at them.

And then, among the Orcs, there came a figure she had not seen chasing them before; a pale orc, on top of a white warg, a metal claw instead of a left arm. That one, she thought for a moment before her mind could make connections, must be their leader.

"That's impossible" She heard Thorin breathe in, and she could only imagine his stunned face. The air around them became heavy, and by that moment, Bilbo found it hard to breathe as her heart beat picked up, her eyes going wide and her ideas clashing among them, a new image rising from the very back of her brain. "Azog."

-_Bilbo was stuck inbetween her mother's back and a tree, but, as always, because her body continued to grow as her mother's stayed the same, it was not enough to hide most of her face. Her eye was there to receive the image of a horrible creature riding what was not quite a dog, not quite a wolf, bigger than both, a sword in-his, its- hand, a cruel smile on his deformed face. There was a spark of maybe amusement in those blank eyes of his when her mother took out her sword, the one that was shining with the blue glow ever so slightly_-

**_We are going to die. _**

Maybe Bilbo didn't completely realize that was her actual thought, and not a part of the small portion of –should be- meaningless images on her head, or maybe she did and that's exactly why she held that tightly to the branch she was holding. Her nightmares had long been gone, and she couldn't quite remember the exact figure that had caused her so many sleepless nights, but why could she remember blank eyes? Why did that Orc- Azog look so familiar to it? The monster had had both arms, but that was not reassuring enough, that's not reassuring enough. But still there he was, on top of the white Warg that compared to his pale skin, laughing at them, pointing at Thorin, commanding the other Wargs to attack them, and here she was, clinging to the tree because her life did depend on it.

-_There was blood, from her own head, but there was blood in her hands too, on her dress, in her face. The scariest thing was to realize the blood came as well from the body lying in front of her_-

For the first time since she had left The Shire, Bilbo was _terrified_.

"Bilbo!" Her eyes were still shut when she heard Gandalf calling for her, but the hobbit couldn't bring herself to snap out of it, to make her heart beat again or to make her arms move as she felt how the tree was being attacked wargs. There was absolutely no way she was going to accept that image inside her head, and there was no way she was going to look again at that orc; the nightmares had been horrible, they had lasted so much time, she had fought against them long enough. But she had been stronger when she was a kid, when she was fiery and stubborn as hell, when she had her father. She couldn't do it anymore, there was no one there anymore. Not again, she couldn't do it again.

"Bilbo!"

_Thorin._

Her eyes snapped open, and she looked down.

The dwarf was not looking at her, but it had been his voice. He was trying to kick the wargs on the face, his hand holding her ankle –and that hand had not been there before the wargs came- his face not at all like she had imagined before- had he not been shocked? Had him not been afraid? Looking at him she recalled Balin telling that story in front of the fire that night, a beheaded king, a crazy father, a heartbroken grandson. How many people had Thorin lost that one night besides the many, many soldiers that died? A grandfather, a father, those who had always been there for him.

_Azog had pointed at Thorin._

That was not her story's monster, she realized as she pressed her lips into a thin line.

It was _Thorin's. _

"Fili!" Her scream was kind of muted by all the barking, screaming, cursing and more around her, but she called out for the prince anyway. He was on other tree, kicking a Warg on the face, her bow hanging from his shoulder "Fili!" Bilbo cursed under her breathe when he didn't hear her. The hobbit knew she could take Azog down with an arrow, he wouldn't be expecting an archer, or at least someone who could shoot him from their situation, but she had nothing to shoot with. She opened her mouth again, ready to call for him one more time, but instead of his name she let out a terrified scream.

The tree was falling to one side.

Right. Into. The. Other. Tree.

Never in her life had she been so close to Dwalin at that moment when she most literally landed on top of him, losing her grip on the branch and falling against his shoulder quite fast and quite heavily. The hobbit swore she had seen Thorin's eyes on her, almost narrowed at her situation, before _being lifted _by the _collar_ of her _coat _by Dwalin, who unceremoniously threw her into Bifur's arm on the other tree as they fell again. Never mind the fact that she had been treated like luggage, a thing that she tried to ignore, it just wasn't a good idea to have thirteen dwarves, one wizard and one hobbit on the same tree. _Not that her weight mattered much, but still._

"Gandalf, if I don't die today, I'm going to strangle you with your own beard!" There was dry laugh somewhere on the tree, but as an answer, instead of a pissed wizard she got a burning sphere into her hands fallen from the branch above her head. _What the_\- It did not burn her palms, but she was pretty sure it was real fire.

"Throw it at them my friend, you might find some kind of release for your anger!"

He had been the one saying they didn't have time, and he was the one to use it for a joke. A wizard he had to be.

Turned out to be a rather brilliant way to keep the wargs away from their tree. A small part of her felt pity towards the creatures as they ran around, catching fire on their way, but the biggest part was too focused on throwing more spheres to care. Survival mode was something she didn't particularly like, but since she did like to live, there was no other way but to fully embrace it. There were loud cheers when the last of the wargs stepped out of the fire circle, but it did not last long; true to her worries, the tree almost too quickly gave in to their combined weight and started to fall to one side. Why did they have to choose the one next to the cliff, huh?

"Don't do it, Thorin." Balin's voice was close, so close she was surprised when she opened her eyes and found him on the branch next to his. Her ears could pick up Azog's dark laugh, probably laughing at them, but her eyes were focused on the dwarf standing on the tree, looking at the orc. Thorin was frowning, his hand wrapped around the hilt of Orcrist, and his eyes were narrowed on the orc's direction. It was the moment she started to panic a little, because it was the moment she knew exactly what he intended to do.

"Tho-"

He charged.

Why did he never listen to anyone? Bilbo groaned quite loudly, and not exactly because she was hanging from a branch over a cliff, but because no matter how much time she stayed in the company of dwarves, she would never understand them. A pair of hands brought her up, two pairs actually- Gloin and Bifur, surprisingly enough, were the ones to bring her up to sit on the trunk, making sure she was not going to fall. The hobbit took the opportunity to look around, and almost had a heart attack when she saw Ori hanging from Dori's feet and Dori hanging from Gandalf's staff. Closer to her, Kili struggled to bring himself up to the trunk, Fili almost on the same situation; she leaned and began to extend her hand to help them at the same time Fili's eyes shot up to meet her own, and then what was behind her, and Bilbo could have sworn he had never looked as scared as he had looked at that moment.

"Uncle!"

The hobbit froze. Well, not really, she was quick to turn around and see what had given the prince such a reaction. It shouldn't have been a surprise to see Thorin trying to block, almost in vain, Azog's attack with that single piece of oak as a shield. To her horror, the shield was knocked out of his hands and onto the ground, followed by his body and his sword. Unlike his nephews, her eyes didn't stay on him to see how another orc dismounted his warg in order to bring a sword to Thorin's neck. Instead, she looked down at her own little sword.

_He was mean. _

_He needed an actual reason to like someone. _

_He did not have the best manners. _

_His ego was as big as her Smial was, maybe bigger than Lobelia's. _

_He was self-absorbed most of the times. _

Her body collided with the orc, sending both of them flying to the ground to his right. Bilbo gritted her teeth when her side landed on the hard ground, most probably bruising her ribs, if they weren't already that is, but she didn't close her eyes for even a second. Her hand and sword were up in less than she had expected, keeping the Orc's arm away from her, her body already turning around her own body as she brought the bigger body down using gravity and adrenaline. Once on top, all there was left to do was to bring her sword down and onto his chest, time after time until there was no more breathing and struggling. But that didn't mean there was no threat.

The steps she took towards Thorin when she took her sword out were shaky, but it was forgotten when she stood in front of him, facing the much bigger, much stronger beings just a couple of feet in front of her. Her sword most probably was the size of their feet, but she could still hold it up in front of her anyway, breathing heavily.

_But not everything about him was bad. _

"Stay away!"

Many years after that, Bilbo would look back and think that it was the moment she started to behave like a dwarf. Of course, that did not mean she had lost her sense of property –_If she had had any left, to start with_\- or her table manners, but it was the moment that most definitely changed her, and yes, it changed her for the better. It was not silent when the pale Orc looked over at her, his face surprised for just a mere second at her not at all scary threat, and then he let out what most probably was the closest to a chuckle that he could muster. Somehow she knew he was not laughing at her words but at her as a whole, taking in her small sword and hairy feet, her pointy ears and her curly hair, taking in her features like it amused him to no end.

He said something that she couldn't understand, but she didn't want to, not only because it probably wasn't good or nice, she could get that much from how a warg slowly made her way to her at his command, but because that tongue had her head spinning and the ring in her pocket weighting a ton more. The whispers were soon to appear, crawling up her spine and into her hears, making her dizzy and annoyingly annoyed.

**Revenge. **

**Take it. Kill it. Blood.**

"_Even if I wanted to, I doubt I could do it_"

Kili and Fili followed her steps, charging against the wargs that were going near her and their uncle. Dwalin was next, his hammer quick to appear, and it was her cue to charge as well. She was small enough to dodge the swords and warg's teeth, but not strong enough to completely block their attacks; a scratch at a wargs face and an injury to its leg, something that brought it down with its owner. Bofur took care of said Orc as she turned around, only to notice that Azog himself was going for her head, his white wargs head too close to her own for Bilbo to feel happy about it.

He said something that, again, she did not understand but made the whispers louder, stronger, but that was not the reason she was pushed to the ground. His sword was the reason for that. She cursed, bringing her sword up at the same time his came down, expecting a painful experience.

Just to be witness when a giant eagle took Azog down from his warg.

Bilbo blinked. Once, twice, but that did not make the eagle disappear, in fact, as time went by it made more of them appear and take down more orcs. She saw as they took the wargs and threw them off the cliff, a small smile on her lips when she realized Gandalf was laughing- A friend of eagles in deed. Giant Eagles at that! Bilbo would have laughed if she hadn't remembered who was behind her, in terrible condition.

"Thorin!" With her sword in its place and the eagles taking care of the wargs, she had the time to kneel besides the king. His eyes were closed as she gathered his sword, a hand on his chest. Bilbo frowned as she noticed there was almost no rising or falling in that particular place, and that his face was far too pale for her liking. "Thorin!" She called again, hoping that he would at least order her to not call him with such familiarity. But there was nothing, not even the slightest movement. And it made her panic.

"Gandalf! Oin!" Bilbo looked around almost frantically, looking for said wizard or dwarf- It was not okay, Thorin was not okay, and it was out of her knowledge how to help him. When no one answered, she screamed again. "GANDALF!"

Then she saw the eagle coming. Bilbo was small enough to fit in between the eagles claws and the dwarf's body as they were lifted off the ground. Surely, she would blush about it later on in her life, but right now the fact that she was closer to him that she had been to any male before, excluding her family, was not something her mind was able to give importance to at the moment. She glanced over his shoulder to see the cliff and the rest of the company being thrown off it- She couldn't even gasp before they were caught by other eagles. Her heart beat fast as she glanced back to the place they had been, looking at the fire and the silhouette of the pale orc she did not want to see again in her life, consciously moving Orcrist so it wouldn't wound either of them.

The wind caressed her face and her head, and it was something she should have been glad about. Physically, it was the most peaceful moment they had had in all their journey- Up there in the air, being carried by the eagles, there was little that could harm them in some way. But it was not peaceful for her, it was not peaceful at all, and all because of the stupid dwarf she was crushed against at that very moment. He was stupid for many things: one, he was stupid for facing an enemy alone while wounded; two, he was stupid for facing an enemy much bigger than him out of revenge while his company was threatened with falling off a cliff; three, he was stupid because his breathing was so low she could barely felt it.

"I will hate you forever and ever if you die on me," she whispered against his shoulder. "That's a promise."

Bilbo thanked the Valar and the eagle for a soft landing on top of that high rock, sitting on it and looking as it flew away from them. She quickly turned her head towards Thorin and his sword away from them, not knowing how she managed not to stab either of them in the journey. She checked for his pulse again, but it was weak, just like before. She could only breathe in relief when the other eagles deposited the company on the rock by her side, and when Oin hurried to the King's side. She just stood back to give him all the space he needed. Bilbo looked over her shoulder as everyone hovered by, looking at him with worry, because Thorin was always the one to be fine, always the one to order Oin to attend to the injured. It was not right nor natural to stand by his side as he was the one being treated.

"A fool, just like his grandfather," Muttered Gandalf as he walked pass her, kneeling beside his kin. Oin, looking stressed and worried, gave the wizard his place. Gandalf placed a hand on top of Thorin's eyes, and Bilbo could barely hear him whispering something in a different tongue. She was so busy looking for a reaction to his words that she didn't even try to translate them. And thank the Valar there was a reaction. Never in her life had Bilbo been so happy to see his eyes open and looking at the wizard's face.

"The Halfling?" To her surprise those were the first words that crossed his lips. She heard Gandalf chuckle at that.

"Bilbo is here, we have nothing to fear, is quite safe" He said, and the others laughed little at that. They helped their leader to his feet, and as soon as he was up, Thorin looked straight at her. The smile that had been on Bilbo's face immediately disappeared at the look he was giving her, or more like the glare._ Here we go again. _

"You," He muttered, almost growling, taking a step towards her. Then another, and another. Was it a good idea to just stand there? "What were you doing? You could have gotten yourself killed!" It was a quite familiar conversation, that one. And just like before Thorin looked positively mad, like he had insulted him instead of saved his life. "You have always been secretive around us, since the very beginning. You go and do things that you are not meant to do, and you put your life on the line unnecessarily. Did I not say it at the very beginning, back in your beloved house. You would be best staying there, because then, you wouldn't be able to do inconvenient things." He almost, _almost_, snarled into her face and Bilbo closed her eyes tightly. Why did it seem that she couldn't do anything right with him? Why was it so hard to make him happy? Before, she had been angry, but now there was nothing but sadness. "I've never been so wrong in all my life."

If you ask Bilbo what made her open her eyes, if it was the hug or those last words, she wouldn't be able to answer. Maybe it had been both. But the truth was that she was left frozen on her place when Thorin's strong arms wrapped themselves around her, holding Bilbo close to his chest, the place she had been just a few moments ago. This time, there was a strong heartbeat against her cheek, and that alone made the hobbit smile a little, still shocked by his actions. Her arms were so small she couldn't quite return the hug or at least not properly, but somehow she thought that it did not matter and did it anyway.

"I'm sorry I doubted you," he mumbled into her hair before releasing her slowly, looking down at her face. And she was so going to remember those words and that expression for the rest of her life, because most probably it was the only one she was going to get. Hopefully enough there wouldn't be a need for another apology. _Though she doubted it._

"Actually, I was already doubting myself. As you can see, I'm not a hero, and I can't say I've been trying to be one," she shook her head, placing a hand on the side of her head. It was spinning around, and around, and around. _Oh dear_.

"Thorin?" He looked down at her, that shadow of that grateful smile still somewhere on his lips. Bilbo admired the view for a few moments. Then she grimaced because she realized it was too late, her legs were already giving up. "I'm glad you are alive."

And then it was dark.

* * *

Next time she opened her eyes, it was to see the sky turning orange.

And two pairs of eyes looking straight at her face, each face at the side of hers, like they were expecting her to do something amusing or worrying, or both. Blinking a few times, she took in the color of hair and the style of the braids, but over everything else, the bright smiles that actually made her close her eyes for a moment and wince ever so slightly. _They are actually bright, __**too bright, **__let me look at the sky again, __**please**__._

"Bilbo! You are awake!"

"Yes, thank you for announcing it, Kili." She mumbled, smiling at them and cracking open one eye then the other one. Ori was sitting at her left while Kili sat on her right, both apparently unharmed, thanks the Valar. Of course, unharmed if she tried to forget about the small but many scratches on their faces and fingers, most probably from hanging from that tree- She probably had them too. Her own war scars, that's a somehow amusingly worrying fact, those two at the same time, she chuckled silently.

"Are you feeling okay, Master Bilbo?" Ori blinked at her, worry in his eyes as he tilted his head "Does your head hurt? Maybe your ribs? Somewhere?" The young dwarf did not seem as worried anymore, not like he had been inside the mountain, and that gave her certainty that they were, in fact, safe wherever they were. Opening her mouth to answer, she was interrupted even before she could speak.

"Are you feeling okay, Master Bilbo?" Ori blinked at her, worry in his eyes as he tilted his head "Does your head hurt? Maybe your ribs? Somewhere?" The young dwarf did not seem as worried anymore, not like he had been inside the mountain, and that gave her certainty that they were, in fact, safe wherever they were. Opening her mouth to answer, she was interrupted even before she could speak.

"That's what _I _should be asking, lad, and I'm not planning on giving up on my job anytime soon," Oin came into view, and his answer was so accurate that she wondered if his problem of hearing only applied in certain cases or when he chose it to. Most of the time he seemed terribly aware of what was being said around him. "Do Master Bilbo a favor and go fetch some water so he can drink, aye? Off you go!" He basically shooed the two dwarves, making Kili pout and Ori nodded, before they both actually stood and walked over their bags, starting to dig for their water skins "You have a tight leash on those two lad, didn't leave your side since we put you down." The healer commented as he sat beside her, smashing something, most likely herbs, with two small rocks.

"Leash you say," Bilbo chuckled, feeling light headed for a moment. The hobbit blinked again, trying to clear her view before everything became clear again. Tilting her head, she looked up at Oin "I… I fainted?" He snorted.

"I'll give you credit, it was not because of any fright- I knew you were tougher than that the moment you read the contract and didn't faint, mind ya'. Looks it was because of exhaustion, if you want to know. Those two made sure we knew all you had done inside that mountain, and if I were you, I would be prepared to face Dori's crushing gratitude until the day you die." As he spoke he motioned towards Ori and Kili with his head, wincing when he mentioned Dori's name and his gratitude. If it involved hugging then Bilbo would have to consider wincing too- She had seen Dori fighting and knew how _damn _strong he was.

"Isn't that nice to know." Behind Ori, Bombur was gathering some things alongside Bifur, but besides that, they were the only ones she could see. With her hands at her side, she slowly pushed most part of her body up, going for a sitting position with shaky arms "Where are w- ouch!" She fell back to the bedroll, a hand on her forehead where she had been attacked by one of Oin's fingers. Suddenly, she felt like a kid all over again. "Why did you do that? Was that actually necessary?"

"It is my job as a healer to make my patients rest until they are well enough to walk, or to do certain things depending on their case. You most literally threw yourself against an orc four times your size, get the idea?" This time he didn't snort. Instead, he narrowed his eyes at her "You won't be _sitting _until_ I_ say you can."

"No need to get physical about it," Bilbo quietly complained, really feeling like a child. That was something her grandfather, the Thain, had done just once in her lifetime when she was like twenty and said that she was going to have tea with Otto. Thank the Valar he snapped some sense into her. Resting her head down, she tried to look around as much as she could, frowning a little when she had a perfectly clear view of the sunset and no trees nearby "Where are we? I can see the woods, so we are quite far from the ground. Are we still on top of the rock?"

"Yes, we need to tend to the injured and rest. We have faced enough for today."

It was not Oin who answered her question. Looking to one side, Bilbo saw Thorin walking towards her, standing a feet or two from her bedroll. The hobbit blinked- Wasn't he a little bit too close? Oh well, she was not as focused on that as she was on his calm expression. When was the last time she saw him like that? Back at her house? Maybe it was not even like that back then. There wasn't a smile like it had been before she fainted –_she still couldn't believe she did, and just in front of him_\- but it was a friendly expression. It made her relax and smile.

"I've never thought I lived to see the day you would say something like 'enough for today'. But tell me then, your majesty, did you let Oin treat you as well?" This time Oin snorted and laughed. Thorin rolled her eyes, and Bilbo grimaced. So she had been right with her sarcasm.

"You say it to him, lad, maybe he'll finally listen," the healer still laughed, and she was tempted to do so too when the leader of the company crossed his arms over his chest. Just like a child is bond to do, when he has been caught.

"I don't need such a thing."

"Right."

Thorin narrowed his eyes at her.

"I was not the one to faint."

Bilbo smirked at him.

"I happen to think you actually were."

"Bilbo has a point Uncle, you should listen to us and to him and get treatment," Fili walked by his uncle's side, a water skin in his hand and Kili storming behind him, obviously pissed his brother had been the one to find the water skin first. "He thinks we are all plotting against him." He informed the Hobbit as he helped her drink. No water tasted better, of that Bilbo was sure, welcoming the sensation inside her dry throat. Once she was done Fili handed the water to Oin, who mixed the herbs he had been crushing with the water inside a smaller water skin.

"Which you are." Bilbo actually laughed when Thorin threw the comment with his arms crossed over his shoulder. It was nice, really, this relaxed atmosphere. But then her head started to trouble her, a small headache become a quite big one at the side of her head. She brought a hand to her head, sighing. This was starting to annoy her. To her surprise –she had been getting many these days- Thorin kneeled by her said, looking straight into her eyes. "Rest, Bilbo." The leader said before standing to his feet and nodding at her, walking towards Balin and Gandalf, who suspiciously enough had not talked to her yet. "Our path can wait a little bit longer."

Now that was something she didn't expect to hear either.

"For once, he is right about something regarding health. You do need to sleep, it will help your body to heal quicker," Oin passed the water skin to Fili, who helped her once more to drink from it. It tasted awful, so she figured it was great for her health. "Master Baggins?"

"Yes?"

"Next time you wake up, I want to talk with you about something." The hobbit looked surprised at that, and even more so when Oin and Fili looked at each other, nodding before looking at her. For all that mattered, it looked like they had been plotting, or something similar to it. Was it her imagination or they were looking too seriously at her? "Lass, I think is time we talk about that head wound of yours."

_Lass._

_Oh dear Valar._

**_I am going to kill Fili._**


	11. Chapter 11: Trust you so, Trust you not

**Beta Reader: Madame Cross Marian**

* * *

_"Bilbo?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"Are you alright?"_

_"Of course I am."_

_"I see"_

_A second of silence._

_"Bilbo?"_

_"Yes, Kili?"_

_"Why are you pointing an arrow to my brother's head?"_

_"Oin let me out of my bedroll and I needed to stretch, and your brother oh so kindly offered to help me with my training. But don't worry Kili. You see, I'm not aiming at his head, but at the leaf that's pressed against the trunk, just above his head. Do you see it?"_

_"I… I don't think I do."_

_"That's so reassuring, little brother of mine."_

* * *

_"What happened?"_

_"Fili just slipped down the last steps. You lot must look out, those boots you always wear will be the death of you."_

_"Yes, sorry, Uncle, Bilbo is right: I wasn't paying close attention."_

* * *

He deserved as much.

* * *

_-There was something observing them from far away, on top of a hill. A big, black figure with its head raised high above the ground. Bilbo sneaked a peek of the creature over her mother's shoulder, looking up when a large hand messed with her curls, her eyes landing on the one riding the horse besides them-_

Bilbo blinked, looking over the rocks at the bear standing not far away from her. The giant creature was facing towards the Orc pack she had just spotted, bearing its -His, her?- teeth and roaring loudly, powerfully, the sound scaring birds and certainly startling the orc pack. The hobbit would have been happy if they had taken a path far away from where they were, but that was not the case and they descended the hill closer to where they had climbed, and she would have been afraid of the creature moving, had it not gone on the same direction as the orcs. Something told her they soon would know how it felt to be chased.

"How on Durin's name do you manage to look so far away?" Wondered Bombur out loud when she came into view, strolling down from among the rocks. She grinned at him at the same time Gandalf chuckled, looking very pleased at himself.

"What did I tell you all? Not only quiet as a mouse, but eyes like an eagle as well. Excellent Burglar material, if I may say so myself."

The hobbit rolled her eyes at that and grinned again when they dwarves cheered a little around her, but her mind knew it was not the time for it, alarms of danger ringing inside her head as she recalled the orcs and the wargs running around looking for them- Azog had not looked pleased at all. But most importantly there was the bear, the one that even though she did not see as a threat to them, could crush their heads and her whole body with a paw and little effort.

"We kind of have a...situation." She started and the wizard raised an eyebrow, frowning and stepping closer to her.

"What is it Bilbo? Did they see you?"

"No, it is not that. They were too busy." The hobbit shock her head and bit her lip, glancing the place she had been at not a minute ago. Even if she did not feel like running away from the bear, she had to tell them, for she was not the only one in danger. "I don't suppose any of you happen to know some bear the size of a troll? A black one? Hard to miss."

The wizard's eyebrow went up, a look of surprise on his face for no more than a second or two, before a thoughtful look replaced it. "So that was the form it took?"

Now it was her time to raise an eyebrow at him, whispers breaking around them. Bifur stepped forward, almost gaping at Gandalf. "Do you know about this beast?"

_It wouldn't so surprise me._

"Believe me, Master Dwarf, when I say in this moment we should focus more on what we are going to do from here on than not on what is not probably going for us first, I'm sure Orcs are a priority to this creature." The wizard changed his staff from one hand to the other, almost dismissing their worry, and it was so easily done that she almost groaned in frustration; of course he was not going to worry about it, of course he wasn't. Gandalf looked at Thorin. "There is a house two days from here. We would be safe there, I'm sure. The owner loves good tales and I'm sure he'll find ours quite entertaining"

"Whose house?" Since the last home they were leaded to had been an elf's, and Thorin didn't like them very much, you couldn't actually blame the king when he almost groaned alongside his question, looking for the first time in their journey as tired as he most probably felt. Now that she thought about it she had never once seen Thorin tired, or willing to sleep earlier than the rest, or with his guard down. It made sense, of course, when apparently there was a prize for his head and the one who had placed that price had been a long thought dead enemy. So Bilbo did not know if to be either happy or sad to see him allowing himself to show that he did in fact feel tired.

"It doesn't really matter, not now, not if we can get refuge. We need somewhere to rest reassured that we are not going to be killed." And so she found herself saying that, making everyone around her turn to look at her face. But something curious happened: Bilbo automatically looked at Thorin in the eye, noticing that they were not hard or annoyed at her like in the beginning of the quest, instead, he was looking at her like her words actually meant something. He was actually _paying attention_ to what _she_ was saying. The hobbit thought of herself as a fool when she felt a little bit too happy at that realization "The Orcs are close, Thorin, too close, no more than a couple of lieges. Soon they will catch our scent and it will not be pretty."

There was a moment in which the rest of the company spoke among them, Kili with Fili, Oin with Gloin, and so on. But Thorin kept looking at her and she did not avert her eyes, nor did she try to raise her chin to look proud. They stared at each other until Thorin sighed and turned to the wizard, axe in hand.

"Lead the way."

Gandalf grinned, quite amused, and it did not go unnoticed to her how he seemed to feel even more amused when he glanced at her.

"A wise decision indeed."

* * *

Bilbo rested her head against the rock that supported her back, closing her eyes and trying not to think that she was going to freeze if she stayed much longer inside that freezing river, never mind the slightly cold breeze that was passing through the trees, promising a quite cold night. But she needed the time, she needed the solitude and she needed the bath very much so; there was no way she was going to go on with so much dirt covering her body, and there certainly was no way she was going to be able to think properly of what she was planning on figuring out with Gandalf around, or Oin. Especially Oin. The hobbit had most literally ran away from the dwarf since the moment she woke up the next day, just before they went down the giant rock, taking every single excuse to not be near him, much to some of the Dwarves annoyance.

To her surprise, Kili and Ori had been worried just for a minute, but when she assured all of them that she was feeling okay and she didn't need to be checked over, the young dwarves even agreed with her, looking suspiciously eager when they almost in unison said that she didn't need to go near Oin at all. If it hadn't been for the fact that Fili was a little bit jealous of Ori because Kili was almost all morning with the scriber, the prince would have agreed with her. But maybe it was all in her imagination, or maybe they noticed she was uncomfortable about being fussed over, but the youngest of the company seemed to be quite strange lately.

"Are you okay, Bilbo?" To say she was startled because of the voice was to put it short. The hobbit almost jumped out of the water, her heart on her throat. After a moment she lowered her body quite quickly under the water, leaving only her nose and eyes out, and that was when she heard a deep chuckle behind the rock she was leaning against. Bilbo relaxed, knowing it was the wizard. "No worries my friend, I assure you I will not move from this place." With that she relaxed completely. "How do you feel?"

Bilbo contemplated the question for a minute. Physically, she was sore, but nothing fatal or too painful. Mentally though, she was confused and her mind was somehow tired, memories of the cliff and the orc constantly coming back to her mind, making wheels turn inside her head, fragments of dreams long forgotten placing themselves together. It was painful process, and on top of that, she had Oin to worry about.

Without a doubt the fact that the healer knew about her little secret, was not ignored by the wizard.

"As okay as I'm capable of after all of that," she answered, thinking that it was not a good moment to discuss something that was not going to change. She was going to sit down and talk to the healer sooner or later, and if it he had his way, it was going to be sooner, not that she was looking forward to it. "I'm lucky my ribs were not bruised. I thought I was going to be in a great deal of pain after all that adrenaline ran out." The hobbit tilted her head to one side, her eyes playing along the surface of the water. She had been pretty sure it was going to hurt worse, or that it was going to make worse whatever injury she had had since Rivendell, but that had not been the case. After all, she had always been a fast healer.

Gandalf chuckled.

"Lucky indeed."

That comment was not made with sarcasm, per se, but to her ears it sounded something awfully close to it. It reminded her of every single moment Gandalf had looked at her like he knew something she should have known as well, like he was waiting for her to realize it on her own. Well, she did, she did realize he knew many things she did not, she realized she was supposed to know a great deal of things she had no idea of. Of course she realized it, by the Valar, of course she was aware of it.

"He knew me," her voice cracked at the first word while she hugged her knees to her chest, her body not feeling the cold anymore even when her mind was kind of aware of it. She felt numb, but not due to the coldness of the water, but because of something that came deep within her soul. It was something she had felt for quite some time. "That Orc knew me, that pale Orc. Azog." It was not like he did not know she was going to say that, and it was not like he had not noticed what he had at the battlefield. It made the silence worse, because she knew behind that rock there was sitting the only person that most probably had an answer for the questions she had come to ask herself, the questions she had no answer for.

"He did not know_ you_." Those words came as a painful surprise. The hobbit tried to breathe deeply, but it was too much inside her mind and inside her heart.

"What's that even supposed to mean?" She mumbled, closing her eyes, placing her hands against them, feeling absolutely and completely frustrated. "You obviously know more than I do. You have always done, ever since you appeared on my porch, even before that. You knew something when you gave me that sword, you knew something when we were back a Rivendell- Valar, Lord Elrond and his daughter knew something! I'm tired of being the only one who does not know anything." It was kind of nice to actually say it aloud, but she was talking so fast there was not an actual filter in her head right now. Bilbo felt light headed, a little bit of pain coming from the side of her head, making her grit her teeth and press her lips in a thin line.

"What are you asking me, Bilbo Baggins?"

_What was she asking?_

Back in Rivendell, there were a few things she wanted to ask the wizard. When time passed by, the number grew by the day, with each new and strange thought that came to her mind. Now that she had the time and had the opportunity, she was struggling, because there were many things and none of the possible answers seemed to be safe for her state of mind. She had frozen in panic back at the tree when her attention was needed the most, not her best moment, and now they were being chased once more. It was dangerous, so dangerous for the company.

Bilbo felt her throat going dry at the thought, her eyes snapping open.

"Will…" Taking a deep breathe, she closed her head, going through the different thoughts she had had. The rain, the horses, the Wargs, the music, her mother, the elves, _the blood._ "Will I regret not asking you about it?" Her voice was small, almost like a child's, and she felt just like that. She felt like that little kid that sat in the living room of her house with her father behind her, a book on his lap, and an empty chair on her right where her mother should have been. _Where was that woman? Where had she gone to?_ "I'm terrified of whatever answer I may get."

"My dear friend," Gandalf sounded calm, but comforting. No doubt he could sense when she sniffed into her hand, and no doubt he was the reason why suddenly she reminded herself of the fireworks, the butterfly on his hat. "I think that's something you might want to ask yourself."

_Maybe someday I will be able to._

"I'm telling you, Uncle! Bilbo likes his privacy very much!"

"Fili?" Bilbo didn't need to narrow her eyes to have a clear view of them, the sun had a few more minutes before hiding under the horizon and so she could see when both uncle and nephew came into view, Thorin almost glaring at Fili who was, apparently, trying to stop him, none of them stopping.

"Thorin? What's wrong?" Her voice made them realize they were not alone and it stopped them on their tracks, both turning her eyes to look at her. Fili had a relieved expression on his face, sighing, while Thorin changed his glare for a….softer look? The hobbit blinked quite a couple of times when the leader stepped forward, meeting her halfway.

Up close, he looked close to relieved, and that was so puzzling that the hobbit hopped she could hide it well.

"The wizard came back, but you did not." He said as an explanation, making Bilbo almost gasp in surprise. He had come looking for her? First she thought it had absolutely no sense, and second she thought Fili was an extremely kind soul. He had been trying to stop his uncle, knowing that she was taking a bath. Oh dear, Thorin motioned for his nephew to go back to the camp as Bilbo shoot him a grateful look, one that the blond dwarf returned with a smirk. She blinked, frowning at that. What was with him? "Are you okay?"

"I am. I was just…." Opening her mouth randomly was not good, for her brain failed her this time and did not come up with anything intelligent to say. Clearing her throat, she tried again. "I was just thinking. Sorry for troubling you." Why does he seem relaxed now? He actually did, his shoulders not tense like they used to be. He nodded at her words.

"It was not a trouble. We were… worried."

The fact that he seemed to struggle with that last bit of information somehow made her heart warmer. He was actually trying to be nicer, he tried to choose the words to say. Before she knew it, she was smiling brightly at him.

"Thank you."

"No." He shook his head so quickly that she was startled at it. When he noticed she did not understand what he meant, not in the slightest, he sighed and pressed a finger to his forehead, his eyes closed for a moment. "No, that's not right. I…" Taking a deep breathe, he opened his eyes again and took a step towards her. It was so sudden she almost took one back, and it was an almost because she couldn't have reacted fast enough anyway. "I never got to actually say thank you, I only said sorry. That's not really fair." The dwarf bowed his head at her, and it was so surprising she almost asked aloud if he had hit his head again or something. "I thank you for saving my life, Master Baggins."

"Bilbo" She found herself saying not a moment later, nor a moment after she thought it did not sound right, that kind of formality. She tried to convince herself it was because both Kili and Fili called her by her first name with no problem at all, something she had become used to. Because of the look on his face she felt the need to explain further. "I'm sorry it's the only thing I can offer you. I'm aware of how many times you saved my life on our way here, all our lives. You are not the only one to feel thankful, Master Oakenshield"

After a moment of almost silence, with the sound of chattering coming from the camp as background, Bilbo felt her heart rate race when she heard a small noise coming from the dwarf in front of her. When it became louder, the hobbit realized in absolute amazement that Thorin was in fact laughing, and it was not at her. It was low and surely couldn't be compared to Bofur's laugh, but it was a laugh nonetheless. That's new.

"You are not fair, Halfling, now I'm the one feeling quite guilty." He chuckled slightly, and Bilbo could only almost stare in amazement. It was refreshing, really, to have their leader act like this. "You may call me Thorin. I'm sorry it's the only thing I can offer." There was a hint of mockery in his voice as he quoted her, but it did not feel offensive at all.

"I'm not half of anything." Laughing lightly, she felt quite content joking like that. If she had been Lobelia then Thorin would have already been hit in the head with an umbrella, but thank Yavanna, Bilbo did not want to do so nor did she own such a horrible thing as Lobelia's umbrella. With a smile on her face, she looked at Thorin. "But you know more about hobbits than what you give yourself credit for." He looked puzzled at her, and the hobbit chuckled at it. He looked like Kili sometimes, but different at the same time. _Kind of cute_ "We care more for names of friends than for gold. We are pretty simple creatures, as you might have noticed before."

"There are many things I have not payed attention before, I'll make sure to so from now on."

It occurred to her that it wouldn't be pretty if he paid too much attention to her.

It occurred to her that she was still hiding something from him, something from most of the company.

It occurred to her that Thorin would most probably hate her for real if he found out.

"Thorin, do you remember? Back at that rock, you said I have been secretive all this time? No, I'm not mad or anything, nor am I complaining." She hurried to say when he opened his mouth, and she would have shaken her hands had she not been holding the damp clothes that she was going to place near the fire to dry. Looking at the ground, she pressed that same clothing against her chest even though it was making her clean clothes wet, trying to find reassurance of some kind. "I just… I'm keeping something from you."

_What the hell are you saying to this person?_

"You might hate me if I tell you. But it will not bring harm to the Company, nor to your quest, so I'm not telling, Thorin" She was quick to explain, not looking up from the ground. She felt like she was making a mistake, but she believed it was better sooner than later, at least in this situation. "I kind of… just wanted to tell you that"

She thought that maybe he was going to be upset- No, he most probably was going to be and he was going to have all the right to. She had traveled with them long enough to know that beyond everything and anything, dwarves valued loyalty and honesty, something she had not completely given them. Every time she thought of it her heart hurt, mostly because it was not fair and she knew it, but she was a coward and could not bring herself to tell them. She did not mean to fool anyway, she just meant to help. Bilbo felt sad, thinking that at least she had known his gentle side before everything went downhill again.

And because she was convincing herself of it, what happened next took her by surprise.

"You earned my trust." He placed a hand on her shoulder, showing her a smile that she had seen before when she lifted her head, a smile that had been directed to Kili or to Fili, when he was the most calm. Never had she thought he would give her that smile. "Is just fair that I earn yours."

She could only hope he believed the blush on her cheeks was because of fever

* * *

Running away from Oin was _hell. _

_Literally._

_Most literally. _

The worst part was how he didn't even seem to be trying.

_But he was_. Oh, Because every time she would look up from her conversation with someone of the company during dinner, he would be there, so casually it was almost painful to see. She had busied herself as well as she could, offering her help to Bombur when it was time to cook dinner, and even though half of the company refused her offer, she had her way and ended up buying time in between mixing and tasting. Maybe Bombur did not know why she gave him a grateful smile when they finished serving everyone and got a plate for themselves, but he did not need to know yet- If she was not banished from the company after they find out about her secret, she was going to tell him why.

Hopefully enough, they would laugh over it in the near future.

_Hopefully enough. _

But she should have enough that there was just so much you could run from someone that was in the same camp as you, someone that was perfectly capable of saying he needed to check on her health even though she said she was fine. That was the point Oin had advantage of, the fact that Dwalin had carried her on his shoulder when she tried to run away to the river again, forcing the hobbit to sit on the ground in front of Oin and warning that she didn't even try to move an inch without the healer's permission. _Such a good moment to start fussing over her, really._

"Almost a day. I have to say, lass, no one has snuck away from me so much in so little time." He chuckled as he checked over her bruises, which were already fading away. He even poked at her ribs, making her groan, but he nodded in approval when the noticed she did not feel as much pain as the day before. She groaned again, but for an entirely different reason.

"Please don't treat me like that." Oin chuckled again.

"Fili told you it wasn't his fault. I already knew, so you shouldn't be mad at the lad." She tried not to bit her lip as she glanced at said dwarf. Deep inside she was not angry at him, not really, but what had her so upset was the fact that he knew someone else knew about her secret, and he did not tell her anything. "I was a healer when we lived in Erebor, I was a healer when Smaug came, I was a healer when we had to find work to fed our families and I'm a healer now. Different from my companions,_ I_ know the difference between a male and a female of other races without much difficulty. Knew it from the moment you kicked Kili back to the camp when he tried to take a bath with you the first days."

"You don't need to tell me how obvious I was," mumbled Bilbo, grimacing.

"Oh no, you were not obvious at all, besides that, of course." Nodded the healer, mixing some herbs inside a water skin. Bilbo made a face, those things worked but tasted awful. "Hobbits are tender by nature, right? I don't think your tenderness is there because you are a female, and so have come to think the rest of the company." As he continued mixing she stared at him. Oin was always calm, and maybe that came from his training as healer, knowing that out of everyone he was the one that needed to remain calm. He was not like Gloin, who had talked with her about his wife and son since she saved the leader's life, finally winning the redhead's favor, even though they were related. But still, she wondered…

"Why did you not tell anyone then?"

He did not miss a beat.

"Why would I?" The healer shrugged, finishing with the mixing and looking at her straight into the day. "The wizard most probably had something to do with it, but without him Thorin would not have the map or key. We own him that. He wanted you here, you shall be here; besides, the lads like you, a tight leash you have on them, I tell you." Shaking her head, he handed her the mix. "But you are no normal hobbit. This should help with the headache."

Her eyes widened. "How did you…"

"I told ya', I've always been a healer"

She blinked, sighed, and drank from the water skin, making a face at the taste.

"Do your worst."

"I've seen many head wounds in my life, lass, and that one is not strong enough for whatever theory the rest of the company has come up with." He pointed at her head. "It's not deep enough for you to forget the fact that you learned a completely different tongue- If it had been like Bifur's then you would have forgotten how to speak common tongue, but you did not. Just to take one example"

"So you're saying that this wound was not what made me forget?"

"I'm not saying that. I'm saying it was not just that wound." The dwarf shook his head, looking deep in thought while he stroke his beard, a and holding the small instrument against his ear so he could listen to their conversation. "I think it was emotional."

Bilbo tilted her head to one side. "Like shock?"

"Or like a trauma." Oin nodded "It would make sense. You have been having strange dreams, aye? And quite a handful of flash backs."

"Yes, since Ga- Wait, wait, wait, how did you know about that?" The hobbit looked at Oin like he had grown another head, and he looked at her like the only one she had was totally empty.

"You are like an open book, lass, it does not take a genius to notice there seem to be certain things that trigger old memories inside your head and put two and two together. It only takes to be a healer and know that you have a scar the size of my hand on your head. Well, it takes to be a warrior as well." He motioned to different scars on his arms and around him. The name Bifur ringed inside her head, and it took all her will power to not turn to look at said dwarf. "Point being: When you received that injury, you received as well emotional trauma. You put those two together, and you get a major problem with your memory. It was enough to make you forget you knew a language, but not how to speak that language"

Bilbo kept silent for a moment, fighting with her own mind. Obliviously enough she thought about blood and about an orc riding a warg as black as the night sky without stars, and that made her heart hurt a little bit too much. She did not know wether to be happy or to cry now that she had had this conversation, but what was she supposed to do? Smile and pretend that nothing happened? Embrace everything and accept that there was something wrong with her? Oh wait, she was already doing that second option. But what now?

"What would happen if I hit my head again?"

"A lot of blood and nothing good."

* * *

Bilbo woke up to the feeling of something warm hitting her face.

Something that smelled like honey.

_Something awfully similar to breathing._

Because she had tilted her face to one side while sleeping, Bilbo opened her eyes to see Thorin and the rest of the company with weapons in hand and angry expressions on their faces. When her ears started to work properly she realized they were shouting, most probably cursing in a language she had no idea of, at something or at someone, something or someone that was in her direction. Gandalf was standing behind all of them, staff in hand, but an amused expression on his face- That alone should have worried Bilbo, but maybe she had just woken up, her brain wasn't working yet.

Anyway, she must have expected to find something when she tilted her face forward, trying to look at the sky. The hobbit found black instead, and a pair of eyes the exact same color as honey, but the worrying part came to her attention when she realized those belonged to a huge bear´s head, hovering a few inches above her own face. Her eyes went wide and her hand flew to her chest, trying to search for her quiver but realizing all too late that she did not sleep with it, so she was left embracing air and her own shirt. Her heart beat hard, fast and maybe thanks to that it was painful to breathe.

It became harder, and the thought that maybe it was panic. No, it was not, it was just fear.

Because somewhere inside her mind, somewhere where logic did not seem to work, she thought that those eyes did not look dangerous.

"Stay away from Bilbo!" That was Kili, most probably aiming at the bear's head, but they were not fools, they knew the bear could do anything to her in that position at any moment.

"Gandalf, you were supposed to be on watch!" And that was Thorin, sounding awfully worried, awfully angry, and for the first time it was not at her. The thing was, Gandalf had the guts to chuckle at his angry exclamation.

"When on watch one must report when danger is nearby." He sounded as amused as he had looked before, and if she had not been trapped in her place, the bear's paws at both sides of her head, Bilbo would have thrown something at him. Something hard, most probably pointy "This is no danger, Master Dwarf. If we are true to our goals, this is to be our host." There was an awfully deep silence after that. "This creature is Beorn, and he is a skin-changer."

After many, many, many hours, Bilbo would realize her brain had had many thoughts at the same time, and it had been so quickly that her mouth hadn't been able to catch up with all the questions, ideas and remarks she could have possibly thought of at that moment. It was when she stared into those honey like eyes and realized they looked quite human, or dwarvish, even like her on kin; Beorn was looking at her like she had looked at her first books on geography, like it was something she absolutely needed to figure out.

And so, after many, many, many hours Bilbo would recognize her words at the moment were not strictly necessary.

"Er… Bilbo Baggins, at your service?"

Believe it or not, Beorn actually licked her face after that.


	12. Chapter 12: Innocent

So, I'm alive…

I doubted it myself. In my defense, lots of things happened. For example, I should have started college by now, but my High School didn't give me my diploma until three weeks ago even when I graduated on July, and I almost didn't make it for the sign up. And lots of other things. This chapters it's absolutely and completely raw, meaning the beta reader had not taken a look at it, mainly because I have not talked to her.

But I was really happy to write this again and I hope you don't hate me, so I wanted to update today no matter what. Even when I'm falling asleep over the computer. Just ignore the writer and do enjoy.

* * *

"Thorin, I assure you, the food it's not going to attempt against your life"

At first it was like he didn't hear what she said, but after a moment went by he frowned at the food in front of him, his eyes going to the two figures sitting in front of the fire, far from the company. Gandalf kept talking to Beorn, and even when Bilbo's ears were sensitive she couldn't distinguish what was being said over the noise of plates and chatter, Kili's voice constantly coming up from besides her when he discovered yet another 'fascinating' thing of the house they were currently staying in. Bilbo munched on the piece of bread she was holding, enjoying to no end the delicious taste of honey that was like heaven after so much time without having a taste of it, but even when she felt so happy about not being on the wilds and being relatively safe of the ones that wanted to kill them and being able of eating as much delicious bread as she wanted, the hobbit still felt restless with Thorin's facial expression.

"I don't trust him" He finally spoke, arms crossed over his chest, eyes still narrowed at the skin changer's general direction. Bilbo _could _see where the attitude came from, because it was not every day you meet someone who could turn into an animal that could easily crush you- _She _had been the one going face to face with Beorn, Bilbo _knew _how overwhelming he could be.

"I do" She found herself saying, and when she thought about it, Bilbo decided it was true. The hobbit had had her doubts at the beginning, when they walked towards his house, but then the saw how the skin changer, after going back to his almost human like form, interacted with the many, many, _many _animals that lived not only outside, but inside his home as well. He patted his ponies with a gentleness that was proper of a _mother, _and his fingers did not apply too much pressure on the tiny mouse's heads. He couldn't be bad "He seems gentle" Thorin made a sound close to snorting.

"Doesn't look like it to me" Now he looked at her with intense blue eyes, and Bilbo had a hard time not hiding away. Never in all the time she had been traveling with him had she ever thought this was it meant to be looked by him with trust; _why _was his gaze so intense? How did his eyes never waver away? How could he look so sure about himself? It came to the point she had to fight really hard not to blush, opting for pointing at his plate with her hand so not to look like a fool, or at least like she still were on her tweens. She had to get a grip of herself.

"You need to eat, I dare to say we have been through a lot lately. It will not hurt to eat as much as we can while we can" Was her oh so intelligent way to try to get him think of some other thing, feeling like she failed miserably when he didn't move a muscle. Instead, the leader of the company blinked at her, almost like he was waiting for further argumentation, not at all convinced. Sighing, and almost groaning when she left her own food on top of the plate again, the hobbit tried again "Do it before I go as far too safe taste it myself to show you there is no poison" At this he at least rose an eyebrow. Then, he frowned again, and it was her turn to blink at him. Why did he look a little bit annoyed out of the blue?

"You are far to trusty, Bilbo" Was his statement, and she couldn't help but chuckle. It came out as a completely natural reaction, even surprising herself. Bilbo smiled at him in what she hoped looked like a reassuring gesture, not really sure why that had sounded so ironic- _They _had been the group that ate whatever could be found on her pantry, slept on her house and drank her ale, but _she _was the trusty one. _Yes, now I can see the irony._

"We hobbits have a good eye. We know when someone means good" She replied, shrugging a little, taking another bite as she felt her stomach protest a little. Her seven-meals-a-day habit seemed to be kicking in now that her brain knew there was no risk of running out of food if she ate all she wanted. Humming, she nodded at him "So I assure you, your majesty, that this is completely edible. And delicious" There was a moment of silence between them, seconds going by without a response, until her ears caught the sound of deep, almost silent chuckle coming from his direction, his lips curving upwards. If she had not seen it she would have not believed it; the small smile lingered on his face as he took the piece of bread on his hands, looking much more smaller than it had looked on the plate, nodding as well. She had the feeling he was nodding to himself, not at her, but she was too busy kicking herself out of the almost self-inducted shock.

"Reassuring enough, Master Hobbit"

_That sound it's not my heart beating. It absolutely isn't. _

"Bilbo, look! They are still there!" Kili, bless him, gave her the perfect chance to look away like she had not been staring at the leader's face, nudging her shoulder and pointing towards the window with a bright smile on his face, almost jumping on his seat. Despite her inner battle, Bilbo found herself smiling along with him, following his finger until she found the bees flying by the window. There had been no way she had not noticed _that _when they first walked inside the house, almost cringing at the memory of one of them actually landing on her nose "They are the size of my hand!" The younger ones, being that Kili and Ori, had been and still were absolutely enchanted with them. The hobbit could see the youngest of them already drawing on his book, eyes focused on his work.

"That they are"

"And I'm sure they sting trice as bad, so don't go near them" Spoke Fili from the other side of the table, making his brother pout at him, trying to be secretive about the guilty look on his face. The blonde dwarf raised an eyebrow at Kili, a smirk on his lips" I can practically see your scheming from here"

"I was not planning on doing anything" His brother snorted.

"You are a hundred years too early from being able to deceive me, little brother" Booming laughter was heard after that, Kili himself being caught in the mood. Bilbo snickered before grabbing the piece of bread again, catching from the corner of her eye movement from the other side of the house. Gandalf walked besides Beorn, what she could only call a relieved expression on the wizard's face, and the skin changer looked at them with something close to a frown on his face. At least, it was not half as big as the one he had had when he first talked to Thorin, which was kind of reassuring.

"Yours is a fine tale indeed" There was silence when the rest of the company took notice of their presence, and there was silence when he spoke with a deep and almost loud voice. Bilbo thought it was because he stood far from the ground, probably not used to talking to someone so short in comparison. The hobbit saw Thorin frowning again, both at Gandalf and their host, and she couldn't help but to wonder herself just what the wizard had told Beorn; surely, it was the truth, but she knew he intended to exaggerate a little bit too much "I am going to aid you. Eat, rest, and do not go out of the house until I come back"

"Why is that?"

The skin changer only did as much as to spare Thorin a glance as he opened the door of his house, not interesting on looking at him again as he spoke "Trust me, Dwarf. It's more for your benefit than mine" And with that the door was closed behind him. Gandalf cleared his throat, catching their attention.

"We should rest, it has been a long day"

She couldn't agree more.

* * *

"We don't have to do this"

"_Yes_, we do have to" She felt as if were the tenth time she said it, and it probably was, but it did not stop her from scrubbing clean the shirt on her hands, Ori's, if she was not mistaken. What spare they had of clothing was hanging on the railing besides her on what went by the backyard of Beorn's house, just besides where he had been cutting wood not long ago. She looked up at Bofur, who had been the unlucky one left to help her- More like the first one she took a hold off and dragged with her, but that was a tiny detail "I'm not going to walk the other half of Middle Earth with you all if I don't get rid of the smell"

"They are not so _bad_" The dwarf laughed, hanging the last cloth that had been handed to him. She had to give him credit, he had not complained half as much as the others would have, with the exception of Ori, because Ori was well…. Ori. More than half of the time Bofur only said things to make her laugh of make himself laugh, so it was a good company and a good assistant that did what he was asked to do "You hobbits are over sensitive towards this kind of things" He wasn't so quick when she threw the shirt into his arms and most of his face as a plus. Bilbo laughed, half apologizing.

"Someday, Master Dwarf, you are going to thank me about it" She stated, pushing her curls out of her face with the back of her hand, having done so multiple times already. Bilbo had to do it once more when they disposed of the dirty water, just as she smiled brightly at the job they had done; at least now they had one change of clothes that was _finally _clean. Now there was _another _to go after the others were dried enough to wear. Well, at least it was something to do.

"Your hair has grown quite a bit" Noted her companion, taking his pipe one and preparing it with one hand, walking with her up the steps of the stairs. Bilbo unconsciously brushed the side of her face, her curls effectively covering all of her ears, and she grimaced. Back in The Shire she had chosen to keep it relatively short because it was more practical, _and _because it did not need so many ribbons to tie it; it had been a win-win situation when not even Lobelia could say it was improper for her to cut it so much. But in between running for her life and training and running for her life and hiding her secret and _running for her life_, cutting her hair had not been top on her list of priorities. Maybe she should ask Dori for a pair of scissors?

"Our hair tends to grow quickly, like grass. It's because we are connected to the earth" The dwarf, even though stone was what they felt familiarity towards and it most definitely was different from earth, nodded in understatement. Sometimes Bofur found many things odd because they were different from what he was used to, but most of the time he seemed to be good while dealing with it, not like Dwalin when they faced Rivendell's food, something that still made her laugh, and it was something she really appreciated of him.

"I wonder why you don't have beards though" He wondered out loud.

"One of my relatives had one" Bilbo frowned, tilting her head to one side. Certainly she could recall someone like that, long hair coming out of a chin, so maybe an uncle? For all she knew it could even be an _aunt_. Everyone in The Shire was related one way or another, so it was difficult to point out _one _person she didn't really remember, it was quite a difficult task to even recall the relative's face. At the end, the hobbit shrugged "I think"

"Why don't you braid it?" He offered the idea, puffing out some smoke.

She hummed a little, drying her hands with the cloth he had borrowed from the kitchen, almost a small blanket in her small hands. It would be a lie to say she had not worn braids before, but that had been a _long _time ago, done by the hand of her grandmother; it would make sense for a really young lass to wear them along with pretty ribbons, not someone who should soon be married if she didn't wish to be an old maid. Braids did look on the rest of the company, maybe because they had really interesting styles she had not seen before, but something so meaningful surely didn't suit her at all.

"If keeping it off my face is the case, I would prefer to tie it"

"Braids would help, too"

"I just don't think they'll suit me" She shrugged and grinned at him, her own little joke about an old maid hidden somewhere inside her mind, amusing her to no end. At some point of the journey, she decided, she would have to tell them about her being a female, when there was no company for Thorin to kick her out of, and maybe if their reaction was a good one, like Fili's or Oin's, she would tell Bofur about it. Hopefully enough, he would laugh his head off alongside with her "I am a little bit hungry, should be go grave something?"

"I've heard of Hobbit's appetite, it is a relieved I was not lied to about it" They both jumped when a third voice was heard, much deeper, much louder than theirs. Both Bofur and Bilbo turned around to come face-leg with Beorn, who was staring own at them with a slight tinkle on his eyes, something the hobbit recognized as amusement- She almost pouted, had it not been for the fact that she felt overwhelmed with his height once more, easily recalling the incident with the trolls some time ago. It was the first time she had had an exchange of words with Beorn as well, not really counting the time he had been a bear and she had thought he was going to eat her. The honey colored eyes landed on Bofur, who tensed a little bit "I believe, Master Dwarf, the one with the axe on his head was looking for you"

"Thank you" Bofur nodded at him, grinning when he looked over at her. No matter how you saw it, it was like he was running away and leaving her behind. _Coward _"See you later, Bilbo" And just like that, he was off, leaving a really unconfortable feeling Hobbit and a nonchalant looking skin changer. There was a tense silence between them, mainly because she could not think of a single thing to talk about with their host; maybe thanking him? They had done so already, and Gandalf did warn he could easily get angry with unnecessary statements. Maybe comment something about his ponies? Just how random would that conversation be?

Bilbo jumped again when she felt fingers on her head, tapping ever so slightly so she looked at him again.

"Little bunny" Strangely, his words sounded like a greeting to her ears. But when she realized just _what _he had said she frowned at him, feeling her cheeks heating up.

"My name is Bilbo, and I can assure you that I am _not _a rabbit"

He chuckled, and it sounded outstandingly _normal. _His eyes light up a little, the small smile still on his face, surprising her by bending down while placing his hands on his knees; there was no way he could lower himself to her eye level, but it was nice not needing to crane her neck so much, besides the fact that he looked quite gentle and normal now that she saw him up close in that form "Do you fancy some tea? It's been far too long since I last had the chance to offer it to someone" Had it been any other thing, she would have politely refused it, not wanting to risk being called 'rabbit' again, but her eyes practically sparkled with the mention of tea, a large smile appearing on her face.

Soon enough, she found herself nodding at him, quite eagerly.

"I would love to"

As expected, the cup was much larger than the ones she ha at her house, but surprisingly enough, they weren't as big. Bilbo assumed it was because of Radagast, since Gandalf did mention the friendship between the brown wizard and the skin changer, something she could perfectly picture. The hobbit watched in amazement how Beorn managed not to spill a single drop when he poured some tea on her cup, serving himself in a much larger mug with some milk. _Who would have thought. _It was comical really, how her legs hanged from the seat on the kitchen while he could easily spread his legs under the table and still need more space.

"I've finally got one of my own. You have no idea how much time I've had wanted to have a hobbit as a guest, but I couldn't very well go and ask your people to come; I think I would terrified them" Bilbo almost laughed at loud when she imagined Lobelia facing Beorn, the color of her face probably draining completely before she either ran away or fainted. No matter how many times she tried to think about it, the outcome would be the same, it was more amusing than from what she was willing to admit. Maybe her grandfather, The Thain, would invite Beorn over for tea, but trying to fit the giant sized skin changer inside one of their houses was an amusing thought "But I was jealous when my closest neighbor got one"

Bilbo blinked up at him, both eyebrows raised in surprise.

"A hobbit has been to these lands?"

"Oh yes, many times. One Hobbit lass. Has been quite some time since I last saw her" He made a humming sound under his breath, his head tilted to one side as he thought about it. In Bilbo's eyes, his way body language sometimes was closer to an animal's than to her own, but she supposed that was normal to him. The skin changer hummed again, nodding to himself "As time goes by I'm guessing she must be one of your elder, but I do not know a name, so I wouldn't know who to ask for"

"I wouldn't know who either, I don't know of any hobbits that had ventured so far from The Shire" Answered Bilbo quite honestly, tilting her head to one side while deep in thought. Maybe someone from her Took side of the family? Or maybe from the Brandybucks? Even if it was them whom she was talking about, it was not actually, really probable- Even them had their minds sets on staying within the boundaries of their lands. She had not heard of any other female wandering off so far away, besides…. Well, she couldn't know for sure, and last thing she knew her mother had gotten to Rivendell and that was it.

"What a pity" The skin changer rested his chin on his hands, looking over at her as Bilbo sipped happily on her tea, more relaxed than what she had been in a long time. It felt like an eternity since the last time she could drink something so delicious, so she took her time to enjoy her cup of tea properly. It would have been nice to have prior knowledge of what he was going to say to her next; maybe then, she wouldn't have taken a sip at that precise moment "Do tell me, little rabbit, how come a female like you is traveling with only males? Is your husband among them? I doubt it, or at least I hope not, dwarves are greedy and I do not like them"

The liquid almost came out of her mouth in a quick and rather abrupt movement, burning her tongue in the process. The numbing feeling wasn't enough to stop her from repeating his words on her mind over and over and over again, eyes scanning their surroundings in case someone had been there to react as badly as she did. When she found no one else, a sigh tried to escape her lips, but the coughing was still going by that moment. After a few seconds, she was able to breathe properly, looking up at her host while covering her mouth in case more coughs tried to come out; he looked so amused it was almost insulting to see- She didn't know what was the thing that perturbed her the most: What he had said about her gender, or the fact that he thought she was married to one of the company. _Right. _

"Is it that obvious?" She groaned into the back of her hand, pressing her eyes closed like it would prevent time from advancing, wishing it would just stop "Do I look that much like a female?"

"So you _are _hiding your gender" He chuckled, and somehow it looked out of character, but she didn't say anything, hear heart still beating strongly against her rib cage "Such a fearless little creature" Was that a compliment? Because she didn't really know how to take it. There was a thin line between being fearless and being an idiot; as of late, she had found herself getting closer to the later. Bilbo was startled when he patted her head the same way he had patted his ponies, and if it not were for the fact that she was not in such a situation the hobbit would have been annoyed to be treated as a pet "Your folk are child of the earth, its only normal you lot smell like it. Females, child of fertile earth, you smell like my backyard on spring"

_…__.Say what?_

"….Thank you?" Beorn did laugh at her tentative expression, because she _really _didn't know how to answer.

"However, I can see it as well" The only proper reaction to that was to grimace, because she had _known _it. She couldn't go by a male among hobbits without being questioned about her own sanity, and now that her hair was longer than necessary, it became more and more apparent to her "Truly, you could only fool _dwarves _with your 'disguise', little bunny"

"I can only help but agree with you on that, Master Beorn" She laughed, feeling oddly relieved with herself and the conversation they were having. Maybe that was the thing about secrets; it felt good when you could discuss them with someone who didn't judge. Bilbo thought she was right from the beginning- Beorn _was_ good. Even when he insisted on seeing her like one of his pets "And I am not a rabbit"

"Could have fooled me"

"Bilbo!" It was not the sound of the door being suddenly opened what startled her, but the way both Kili and Ori came running in and looking like they had been running away from orcs- Actually, the look on their faces was really similar to that time inside the mountain when they had to climb the trees. Something among the lines of fear and anxiety, both things crystal clear in their faces. It made her worry, the feeling that something was terribly wrong growing inside her stomach. But she was left more confused than worried when the look on their faces disappeared as soon as they spotted her sitting by the kitchen.

Her confusing grew when they rushed to her side, Kili quickly taking the cup out of her hands and placing it on to of the table, one of his hands taking a hold of her wrist. Ori stood beside Beorn almost bravely, looking up at the skin changer with a lot of reservation, trying his best to say quickly whatever he had to say. _What was happening right now?_

"Sorry, Mister Beorn, we need to take Bilbo with us"

"Come, come!" Kili was already pulling her along with him, down the steps and towards the door. By the time she thought about asking just what they were thinking, Ori had already opened the door and they were walking/jogging among the giant bees contently flying around; they had been granted permission to walk around as long as they stayed prudently close to the house, and by the way no one from the company had been inside, she supposed they had taken it upon themselves to use their freedom as much as possible. By the moment they walked outside the fence and into the field of green and small flowers, an extremely refreshing view in her opinion, Kili started to talk again "He has some nerve! Bifur wasn't looking for Bofur- He was talking about the bees!"

"Maybe we should speak with Gandalf?" Kili nodded, not letting go of her. Bilbo could see the others lying around not far away, some of them watching the ponies, some talking among themselves- She couldn't see Gandalf, nor Thorin or Balin, so they probably were off discussing important matters somewhere more private.

"Good thinking, Ori"

_Just what were they talking about?_

"Mistress Baggins, please refrain from going near Mister Beorn again"

"At least not alone- No, _definitely _not alone!"

"_Mistre- __**What?**_"

"I knew it, I can't help but feel we should tell Beorn off ourselves"

"Wait- Wait!" The hobbit most literally dug her heels into the ground, making Kili halt as well. The dark haired dwarf looked at her with an almost annoyed expression, but she knew better, so all she could see was a childish pout on his face. But Bilbo was not up to chuckle at it, she was not in the position of patting his head, she could only take her hand away and sigh deeply, head almost spinning around. _They know, they know, __**Kili and Ori know**__. _There was a painful pang to her heart at that thought, because it was _them _she was talking about, _they _had been the ones finding out "You've got to be kidding me"

"Bilbo?" Kili placed a hand on her shoulder, and his almost worried expression made her even more confused "What happened? Did he try something?" It was almost laughable, really. But even if she tried the hobbit doubted she could laugh at that moment.

"What do you _think _I'm worried about?"

He looked confused, but Bilbo knew it wouldn't last long. He was intelligent, maybe not fast about it, but had some brains. By the way he was looking at everything but at her face Bilbo knew Ori already figured out what she was talking about. As predicted it took Kili a moment before his eyebrows went up, then down, retracting his hand and starching the back of his neck in a nervous way "Oh"

_Yes, 'Oh'. _

There was an almost awkward silence after that, and she would be lying if she said it did not hurt. Deep inside she felt as if _that _was what she had been running away from, even more than Thorin's scolding and punishment, the awkwardness that would come after. But seeing _Kili _stand quietly in front of her was a little bit too much. Sighing, she asked quickly before the silence could last longer, even when she _really _didn't want to talk about it.

"How did you know?" They looked at each other, a silent conversation going on right there. Bilbo didn't care they started to mutter on a language she had no clue about, she didn't care it looked more like a mother asking her children who painted on the walls, she just became painfully aware of how her heart would not stand much more. _Why _did she have to go through that? Something about a dragon and a quest and sadness and a lot of things she needed to review and have an argument for, because if things kept going like that, she would be facing angry blue eyes soon enough. Finally, Kili nodded towards Ori.

"Ori was the first one to notice" Said dwarf blushed under her gaze, though it was mainly because she probably did not have a kind expression on her face. Surely, she had not done so wrongly in her life for her punishment to be so; she had been thinking about the _greater good _when she kept it up, a greater good that involved giving a home to those who had it taken from the, something honorable that _surely _would weight more than the obvious fact that she had been, and still was, lying to them. Not that she had been asked about it, _but still_.

"I just… Back in the cave, I think it was because your hands were small, far too small for any male of any race" He looked down at the ground, and Bilbo couldn't help but think how _small _he looked at that moment, even when he was taller than her "And the way to acted made me suspicious, so I paid more attention to your voice, and then Kili said almost the same thing, so we asked Gandalf and-"

Bilbo held up a hand, interrupting what sounded more like rambling than a proper explanation by every passing second "You asked Gandalf" Slowly, as if realizing how angry she was starting to get, they slowly nodded at her. Bilbo could feel a tick slowly making its way to her left eye, twitching already present on her hands "And he confirmed your suspicion"

"He did"

She didn't knew whoever to laugh or cry.

_Third option, use him as a target for practice. As of lately it proved to be refreshing. _

"Never trust a wizard" She mumbled under her breathe, hands going up to the side of her head to massage her temples. There was no headache coming from nowhere, but there were _lots _of thoughts and possible scenarios coming from _everywhere _at the same time "Why didn't I listen to what people said? For once in my life?" For the first time in history she could agree with her relatives; big folks did nothing but bring in trouble. Sighing, she looked over at the two dwarves "And? Did you tell anyone else?"

"Absolutely not!" Kili was quick to shake his head, an almost terrified expression on his face "Uncle would send you away!" A humorless chuckle left Bilbo's lips, and she found herself smoothing her forehead with a hand. She was trying to move as much as possible so not to think just _what to do now_; the numbers of people that knew her secret increased yet again, and it was not comforting to know Gandalf was so open about it. She would not rely on them to lie on her behalf, she had not expected it from the beginning, but if it was obvious once you knew where to look… wasn't it a little bit to scaring? They were accepting, that made her happy, but there was no guarantee the others would react the same way.

"At least we agree on that"

"Females should stay home, were its safe. That's what he would probably say, because that's what we are taught" To her surprise, there was a frown on Ori's face, though she could barely see it from where she was standing "But sending you back alone… It would be even more dangerous. So we thought to prevent the others from finding out your secret was the best option" Preventing…. Had they been preventing?

She could remember both of them making really loud noises when she went to clean up herself or change clothes, and both shadows right behind Oin as he helped her with her injury. _Had that been preventing? _When she looked over at Kili, the younger archer was looking down at his feet, a frown visible on his face as well. They had known what they were doing, they had deliberately brought attention to themselves, gaining more than one complain and scold from their older relatives, hiding things from them, but they still went on…

_-Smiling innocently, she offered the small bouquet of wild flowers. Simple, spontaneous, and meant to make that person happy. Maybe, those were the reasons why her little gift was accepted with praising-_

_Oh well…_ _Even if Fili thinks they don't know, at some point he will…_

She sighed.

"Come on, lads. I feel like having another cup of tea. Maybe two"


	13. Chapter 13: Ahead we go

First of all, happy new year, I hope you treat me kindly this year too. I'm really sorry for not updating like I used to, things has been tough and well, the hobbit is denser than any other fandom so it's kind of difficult for me to write about this compared than to other of my works. I hope you like this anyway.

* * *

It was different from that time inside the cave, the shock of the stone giants still fresh inside her mind and her cold body.

This time there was no sharp breathe or abrupt awaking, there was no gasp and there was no sweating, and she would later be grateful for such a normal reaction. Bilbo slowly woke up from her slumber, as slowly regaining consciousness of her body and what surrounded her, blinking until her vision wasn't blurry anymore and her eyes could focus on the closest thing to her face- There was straw, just like when she went to sleep, and just as she once more was able to think clearly, the thoughts started to invade her mind almost mercilessly. She was the only one awake, there was no fire and there was no noise around her besides the constant, already familiar, snoring of those who were her companions, so it was when the line of flashes and feelings entered her mind that Bilbo realized just why she was awake.

There almost was a groan as the Hobbit breathed deeply, pressing her forehead against her made up pillow until she reached the ground and straw underneath, almost successfully covering her mouth and nose. Surprisingly enough it was a good way to calm her beating heart, but it was of no help to the many, many thoughts running through her head in what resembled a storm, inner walls bending and shaking under the pressure of unanswered questions and most certainly unwanted feelings; if she had to compare it to something she had lived before, the feeling in her chest was way too similar to the one she had the time she first opened her father's room after his death, an invisible hand squeezing her heart without mercy on sight, nothing but an awfully deep nostalgia as proof of her almost distressed state. If she recalled well, she had been good at pretending it didn't exist.

It was not the type of feeling to drive oneself to crying, but it was the kind of feeling that made you realize there was_ something _you were expected to do, even when you had absolutely no idea of what it was. It was the feeling of looking behind and realizing nothing was ever going to be the same, not even if you tried, not even if you worked to build something similar in the future. Bilbo suppressed whatever was happening inside her chest for a second or two, enough time to lift her head from her pillow and focus on what was real and what was with her _now_, finding with help of them moonlight Kili's hair and not far from him, Fili's beard; Orin was curled in a corner, peacefully sleeping with his brothers close to his frame. There was no hyperventilation or panic as she sat, there was no racing heart anymore, there was nothing she could relate to a nightmare or something particularly _bad, _just feelings and pictures she could not and would not try to understand at this hour at night.

_-There was something almost smoothing to the movement of the pony underneath them, something reassuring about the vast sea of trees awaiting for them ahead, and something familiar about the color of the fields around them. There was a laugh, certainly, when the wind tickled her nose and disarranged her hair, and there was a smile when gentle hand came down to try and tame the curls, matching laugh coming along-_

Bilbo decided it was not good to think about it. She decided it was not going to make her feel better or to chase the thoughts away, so she could only find a temporary solution in standing and slipping inside her coat, quietly tip toing towards the back door, careful while going around Nori because even hobbits could wake someone as sharp as him if they weren't careful enough. Had it been another night or had they not been so tired from all those accumulated, restless nights out in the wild, she would have loved to startle him, because the star haired dwarf sure took it to his pride the way she seemed to be able to sneak on him. _No matter how good of a distraction it would be, _the hobbit thought as she slowly opened the door and stepped into the backyard.

It was there where she took another deep breathe, closing her eyes and trying to stretch off the tension that was built in her shoulders, grateful at least it was not the painful soreness left after sleeping on the hard ground of a forest. It had been a couple of days already since they had arrived to Beorn's house, resting, planning, 'waiting for the time to be right' Gandalf had said, and who was she to question it? Surely, the tea was tempting enough to leave aside whatever doubt could have rose at his words; at least she had more time to settle things with Kili and Ori, fighting off the urge to slam their heads together at the obviously suspicious behavior they had when someone else was around, when _Beorn _was around- Why they thought the skin changer was trying to initiate some inappropriate activity with her, she had absolutely no idea, and you can be sure she didn't want to know. All in all they were just young lads who wanted to do the right thing, and she was grateful for that as well.

But the reality was so different from the bees and the honey and the bread and the flowers that she missed maybe a little bit too much. Maybe it was something about the place they were heading or how close they sounded to be to their destination, but there was an almost nasty feeling to the announcement Thorin had made earlier that day. And precisely the name _Mirkwood_, no matter how much that seemed to shake her inside. As soon as the sun rose from the sky, they were to leave the safety of that house and into the wild once more, and there were no expected pauses until they were right in front of the mountain inside which a dragon slept. _Maybe it was the dragon part, _and it would make sense, because as far as Bilbo knew she was the only one heading down those stairs and into a kingdom solely inhabited by the living thing that had taken down thousands of armies by himself. So much for reassurance.

"Another nightmare?" It would be a lie to say the voice didn't startle her enough to jump slightly in her place, and surely the way she turned around to face whoever was speaking almost alarmingly fast, gave her away- If Bilbo were to think later about how her hand almost instantly reached for her sword, the female hobbit would find it almost funny, and she would have laughed or chuckled at it had not Thorin been there, standing, looking at her face. Had he been there since the beginning? She was more out of it than what originally thought, the hobbit realized while blinking at him with hands loosely balling around some fabric of her coat, almost dumbfounded at his face and the way the dwarf king frowned ever so slightly at her own expression, probably. Bilbo thought he spent far too much frowning, and that surely those lines would show as Thorin grew older, so the female tried not to look so lost; probably, she failed that too. Thorin walked a little bit closer to her, keeping enough distance for Bilbo not to crane her neck so much "You seem to have quite a lot of those"

Her mind and body needed a moment to properly react to his question and what he had said, because some of her thoughts were still clouded by so many things it was kind of difficult to focus on something else. Her whole body relaxed, her face included, but even so her first facial reaction was to grimace at the memory of what had brought her outside, trying and almost failing while looking for the words to explain it to him. At last, Bilbo shook her head.

"No, it… it wasn't a nightmare" _I think. _But she wasn't going to say it aloud because there was no way she was going to discuss it with someone else, not even Gandalf, because she had been the one denying direct answers. And she didn't need to bother someone else over some silly thing like a strange feeling or not knowing how to feel about it. Instead, the hobbit chuckled a little, shrugging as she looked at him in the eye "Maybe it will sound strange coming from someone who appreciates rest as much as the next hobbit, but everything seems too… calm, quiet. Silent. It looks like I can't forget the wargs and the orcs trailing behind us, just like I can't help wondering just where they are as we speak" At least it was not completely a lie, and Thorin accepted her answer with a nod, looking quite deep in thought himself.

"You do good not forgetting, Bilbo. Just because we come to ignore some things it doesn't mean they cease to exist" He nodded again, but she had the feeling it was more at himself than at her. Thorin looked worryingly solemn as he stood there, in front of her, surprisingly enough without any of his weapons. It didn't quite feel right, nor the way his eyes shadowed slightly with the thought of something bad "Even if I wish for it to stop, it is not likely we will not encounter them in the near future" Those words almost made her smile again, if it not were of the sad meaning behind them.

"I was sure I was not the only one wishing for the impossible, but it's even more reassuring to hear it myself"

The dark haired dwarf looked at her again, and it was not until that moment that she realized just how close he was. When had he stepped closer? Or had he been there all the time? Had _she _been the one inching towards him? There was no way of knowing, and putting space in between them would seem rather obvious and downright awkward, not something she could very well handle while being completely alone with him. There were times the hobbit was absolutely and completely grateful for her disguise as male, and this moment was one of them. At least she was not going to look like some interested maiden.

"You should try and find some more rest. It has not been that long since you were injured, and it won't be late the hour we continue our journey"

"Won't you listen to your own advice?" Her questions almost seemed to take him by surprise, and it was quite interesting to get such a reaction, besides worrying. Just what did these dwarfs think rest was? Something only kids did? She understood the gravity of the situation, she shared it, she fought because of it, but she understood the importance of rest and good mental health, mainly because she was worried she was losing her own. Thorin didn't seem to share the knowledge "I see you sleeping as lightly as possible. There is no way you get much rest that way. I would bet my house on you having the same habit long before we meet" There was a moment of silent until the corner of his lips curled up ever so slightly.

That was an interesting sight as well.

"I do wonder how I failed to see how hobbits seem to be awfully perceptive" His tone, if the hobbit's mind wasn't playing any tricks to her ears, sounded almost appreciative, and so she was left to blink at him. To be honest Bilbo wasn't sure whenever to feel happy or not when he wasn't looking at her, but instead looking at the field behind the house and probably what was beyond the horizon; if she had to pick something, anything from what she knew of the leader of their company, Bilbo would say he was picturing that exact moment they could see the mountain, packing while still on top of the rock that most literally saved their lives "Someone has to keep an eye on what surrounds us. I have not survived this far to leave our complete protection to someone else" The hobbit found herself staring at the almost empty space as well.

There was so much beyond, so little she knew and so much she was left to know- There was no in between, and if she had not been on those places under other circumstances, without having signed a contract, could have she seen in any way? Not likely. There was so much left ahead and many places they were left without seeing, all the more to use as an excuse to delay her journey back home- If she made it that far. It was a bitter thought, something she had to bite down, but as she glanced at him again Bilbo realized it was not the worst that could happen to someone. The wind blew, their hair moved, but neither of them seemed to catch on the passing of time; the moon was still high on the sky, there was plenty of time until they were due to continue with their journey, but once they shouldered their bags, the almost relaxed stance or body language of the blue eyed dwarf was going to change oh so drastically. That's why Bilbo shook her head and spoke, breaking the peaceful silence "I can practically see the weight on your shoulders Thorin, and it isn't a pretty sight"

There was a general pause in which the hobbit wondered if somehow, by some kind of slip or misused expression, she had said too much. At first Thorin didn't look at her, his eyes fixed on the horizon and no sign of movement in his body, but then he slowly, oh but so slowly, dragged his eyes down until they met hers. There were many things about Thorin that placed him apart from the other dwarves, almost including Kili: His eyes and his face. It was not only the color, the blue that was pretty uncommon on hobbits, but their shape and the way they expressed about a quarter of what he felt. Training, no doubt. And his features just weren't as thick as Bombur's or Dwalin's. It was different from a hobbit, different from a human, different from a wizard, so different to an elf, and yet slightly different from his own companions. And now that he was looking at her and only at her, probably thinking over what she had just said, Bilbo had the chance to confirm that yes, his entire self was completely different from what she had seen before.

"Cannot be worse than your nightmares"

Her brain almost froze.

Those words were said in a soft voice, one she had not once in the entire journey heard of him. Just what… what was….. How was she supposed to react to that? What did he want to accomplish by speaking with that tone of voice, with those almost happy eyes? It was not fair, mainly because she was left to almost gap at him like a fish.

It took her a moment, maybe longer than that, but at the end of the minute she took to get herself together, his expression did not change. There was some kind of unspoken agreement against breaking eye contact, because neither of them made a move to look away, no matter how weir it might looked to a third party had it been present. Bilbo draw in an almost shaky breathe, but even in her state there was almost absolutely nothing she could do about the words that slipped through her lips, meaning everything to the very last part of it "I do wonder about that"

He faced her, slightly turning in her direction, hands placed one on top of the other as she had seen so many males do before. It was a natural stance for Thorin, if Bilbo had ever seen someone as comfortable in their one skin, and his eyes went from kind of cold and distant to unexpectedly focused on something. On her face, to be more precise about it. The hobbit tried to ignore that little detail at the same time she tried to ignore the growing heat slowly crawling its way to her cheeks, determined on not letting stupid, senseless, youngling like reactions to show in front of someone who just recently showed so much respect for her. _And to keep some of my sense of property and sanity, please _"The skin changer has taken a liking to you" The change of topics had the hobbit taken aback, blinking up at him in surprise. There was an unreadable something on the way the corner of his lips were pressed together, almost like he was holding in either a smile or a frown- Either way it was most unexpected. Bilbo tried to brush it off, smiling.

"I find his company refreshing. Only in stories have I heard about skin changers" Among other things, like the constants questioning about her possible marriage with someone of the company. It was almost saddening to answer every single time that no, she was not married, because it was like recalling Lobelia and her fit the first time she refused to marry her son. It would have been a disaster either way, and in the impossible scenario Bilbo wouldn't have needed a sword or training with Dwalin to deal with the annoying lad herself. The hobbit chuckled, shaking her head a bit "And he has wonderful tea" There was a grin on her face as she tilted her head to one side, laughing slightly at his almost amused expression.

"I did notice you seem extremely found of it"

"Maybe as much as you lot are found of meat"

There was a low chuckle from his part, and somehow it was enough for her to laugh lightly, feeling much better now. She was startled once more when one of his hands found its way to her shoulder, almost gently taking hold of it.

"It's getting colder, you should head inside"

"Why does it seem like you don't feel it?" It was an almost exasperated comment, because it was not fair in the slightest, not when he was standing there without as much as sensing that it _probably _was getting colder. It wasn't until he said it that she felt the cold trying to penetrate her bones, hands going up and down her arms to try and keep what little warm was left from being inside, frowning at her own words as he chuckled. It was inevitable, she chuckled as well "Don't answer that, I've seen you lot under the rain. Barely makes you wink" There was the trace of the small smile still on his lips, and she had to admit it was a good sight. Maybe he was not as relaxed as he could be if he tried, and maybe they weren't in that pretty house by choice or under the best circumstances, but it made her think that if things were alright at the moment, it could be alright in the future. Near future, hopefully enough.

"Good night, Bilbo"

There was a tingle.

"Good night"

* * *

"How much food did you put inside these things?"

"As much as possible. Gandalf checked them with me, and as we did he went on recalling the details of the place we are going have to walk through- And I can say I'm not looking forward to starvation when we are more than halfway through Middle Earth already" Kili grimaced as he picked up yet another bag from the ground, and Bilbo laughed because no matter how much he complained she knew it weighted like a feather to them. The hobbit patted the nose of one of the ponies as she walked towards the house once more, not exactly looking forward to ride one of them; the grimace lasted until she reached their host, standing tall at the entrance of his house, a huge smile on his face as he spotted her "Thank you, Beorn. We have taken so much from your own food, and you gave it without hesitation. Our gratitude will be most likely everlasting"

The skin changer knelt in front of her, but even then, it was impossible to be at the same eye level. His rough, big hand fond her head, patting lightly just like he did with his animals- The hobbit didn't know how to feel, really, about the fact that he was going to treat her as a pet until the very end of their visit "I wouldn't want you to suffer through your journey, little bunny, sounds very much like torture" A torture indeed, she thought as he laughed, the sound booming through the trees and their company "I would have liked to keep your company around a little bit more, though. I haven't had such good conversations since a long time ago, and I can't say when I'll have them again"

"Hopefully enough, we will see each other soon" And she didn't know exactly how long that was, but there was nothing wrong in turning a blind eye to the raw, bloody details of their journey. She _was _going to see Beorn's house again "I hope I've got tales of my own. Maybe if I am lucky, you will come to like them"

"May you know you will always be welcome in my house. Honey and bread we will be waiting on my table" He nodded at her, glancing briefly at something over her shoulder before snorting, patting her head again "Now walk along, here comes your gloomy leader to say his thanks. Had I known better, I would have said he is not one of courtesy with his hosts" Bilbo was tempted to snort too, because she had been in the place of host as well and maybe that was the exact reason why Thorin didn't completely like her at the beginning of their journey. The hobbit bowed, turning around to effectively face the leader of their company, who nodded at her presence at the same time she smiled. Her bow was ready and her arrows were already arranged inside the acquired quiver on Rivendell, sword placed against her hip; everyone around her was the same, but she didn't feel any of them half as worried as she was.

But what was she worried about?

To be honest, she didn't know it herself.

_-something reassuring about the vast sea of trees awaiting for them ahead-_

"Bilbo, ride with me" Gandalf was already holding the reins of his horse as the words left his mouth, and the hobbit couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that. Between having to ride a pony and riding a horse, with no choice and absolutely no time for walking, there was no way she was going to choose the one farther away from the ground, no matter who was riding it and certainly no matter if that person was a wizard or not.

"Why?"

"Can't I enjoy the company of a friend?" Had it been someone else saying that, maybe the hobbit would have regretted her words and offered an apology, but because it was Gandalf who tried to look at her innocently, there was no way the hobbit was even going to feel remorse. She thought that maybe his face showed some kind of amusement, maybe some chuckle or unreleased laugh, but there was nothing of the sort- As a matter of fact, it was almost scary the slightly concerned expression on the wizard's face as he stared down at her. Like he was dreading what was about to come, or thinking the worst of it "Besides, I think it'd be most refreshing for you" There was no way of guessing what was going on inside that head of his when he reached down to help her into the saddle, and Bilbo didn't feel like questioning or complaining.

"What exactly? Feeling tall?"

Her attempt of making him laugh was almost futile. His worries only seemed to deepen as she raised into the saddle as well, sitting right in front of her while effectively creating a wall between her eyes and the rest of the world.

"Not seeing what's ahead"


	14. Chapter 14: Secret of Mine

**A/N: Darlings, I changed a few things here and there, sorry I can't write a longer note. But know that I could write at least half of two other chapters while on medical restriction. Happy New Year!**

* * *

_"__This is not alright"_

_"__What do you mean?"_

_"__The…The forest is sick, I can feel it so clearly" Problem was, she could feel it __**too **__clearly. With her ears and her nose, with her arms and her feet, and generally her whole being- All that made her a Hobbit screamed for Bilbo to get as far as possible from that forest, all the hairs on her body standing as if he were a cat. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, just like it wasn't a pleasant sight. Kili stared the sight at her side before turning his eyes away as quickly as possible, his bright personality almost hissing at the dense atmosphere. Bilbo took a deep breathe "It's meant to not feel okay, but somehow…" Her eyes searched for Gandalf, almost desperately looking for something else, anything else, to focus her attention "What type of sickness lies upon it?" _

_At first, the Wizard did not move. Actually, we didn't blink. It didn't take a scholar to notice there was something of greater importance in his mind, so when the tall being reached down to pull up the hood of her coat, she was left more than a little bit surprised "Keep the hood up, Bilbo. When you walk, when you eat, when you sleep, make sure to keep it this way all the time" Her small hands reached up to tug at the fabric after he let go, taking in the wizard's sigh and frown "A creature of The Shire should never be exposed to such an environment. This darkness… Well, there is no much I can say about it that you couldn't feel already"_

_The Hobbit nodded, eyes searching for the ground. There was a point, close to where Ori and Dori were standing, where the bright coloring started to take a much darker shade. The closer to the forest, the more the sight made her shudder. _

_"__Any other advice?"_

_How the wizard actually paused at her question, not meeting her eye for more than a moment, pressing his lips into an extremely thin line, told her more than whatever he could express with words. But when the tall grey man turned to her once more, hand gripping his staff tightly, Bilbo was left feeling as if he were letting out more than he normally would under normal circumstances "Were something to happen, Bilbo, something life threating that cannot be faced by any of you" Gandalf's eyes, despite serious, showed how concerned he was. Maybe it was Bilbo's imagination, maybe it was the foul air already getting to her, but the Hobbit got the feeling that what she was being told, wasn't a mere 'advice' "__**Scream**__"_

* * *

"Wa-Wait, wait! The path is this way!"

When you travel with dwarves, and being part of an extremely big family yourself, it wasn't every single day silence presented itself in such strong fashion, feeling how much it was needed and feeling delighted by it. Valar knew silence was the only thing the Company had shared the last few hours, since the moment they opened their eyes to twisted branches and dark leaves. So when Bilbo raised her voice, more than one head turned in her direction- The hobbit wasn't walking in the middle of the line, that place was reserved for a very overprotected Ori by a very overprotecting Dori, but she wasn't the last one either, so even Gloin who stood a few feet behind herself and Oin, blinked in her direction. Thorin took in her words with a slightly surprised face, rapidly turning around to see past Dwalin, and the red bricks they had been testing with the end of an axe just a few seconds ago. Thing was, the red bricks were now gone, and what the Dwarf was actually pocking was a normal rock.

Nevertheless to say, more than one cursed.

And it was not because they were tired, or because they were hungry, although that was the case for many, partly because the forest at night was too unsettling to get a proper night's rest or fully touch their food. Rather, the profanities left their mouths as their narrowed eyes scanned their surroundings, hands curling around their weapons almost automatically, now feeling it wouldn't have been such a bad idea to take the longer way around even if that meant they would have been walking none stop for days to an end. At least they were thinking straight enough to be able to curse, which considering the foul air surrounding them and the darkness lurking at every corner, was a very good thing.

The Valar knew Bilbo had next to no idea how _she _managed to keep it together.

"This forest is cursed" Thorin all but growled under his breathe, and because everyone else was already silent Bilbo could clearly hear it from where she stood. Dwalin growled as well after that, turning around towards where she was pointing and pocking the bricks with his axe with, perhaps, more strength than necessarily needed, and as he too turned to follow the sound Thorin threw a look in her direction, nodding his head "You have keen eyes, Bilbo"

It would have been nice of her to smile at that, but in all honesty, the Hobbit almost only had it in herself to nod shortly in response, before they all resumed their walk in the pointed direction without as much as another round of curses. That, actually, was remarkable.

When they first entered the forest, it hadn't been easy to smile and joke, but they managed to laugh at something here and there. Bofur had sang his infamous song many times, Fili and Kili had asked more than one dwarf to share an story, but gradually they all got to the unspoken agreement that it was in their best interest to not make much noise unless they just couldn't take the silence for the day. Maybe it started with the multiple pairs of bright, narrowed, oddly shaped eyes that would stare at them none stop when they halted to light a small fire, and by small fire, she means it keeping getting smaller and smaller by each day the eyes got closer, or maybe, it just was how the forest wanted it to be, because believe Bilbo when she said everything around her looked as something made to torture people with suffocating silence.

Or maybe, it all began when they realized they kept on walking for days after days without spotting a single difference on their surroundings.

That was something they didn't talk about either.

"Master Baggins?" Said Hobbit blinked once, twice, three times when her name was called, glancing up before wincing ever so slightly when her eyes threatened with seeing double, finding Nori starring at her with a frown from where he was sitting diagonal to her. It took Bilbo a while to notice she hadn't touched her food, although there was no denying she was hungry after hours of walking- How many, exactly, she couldn't know, because there was nothing inside that dammed forest that could possibly tell her if time went by at all "Master Baggins, are you alright? You look gray"

_Somehow, that's not so hard to believe. _

"I'm okay"

Oin huffed, and Bilbo almost blinked again when the old dwarf appeared at her side. Just when and how had he gotten there?

"I'll be the one to decide that"

"Hobbits are children of earth, Oin" Bilbo gritted her teeth and curled her hands around the dried fruit she had been given as he examined her eyes, chest heavy with whatever the air that entered her lungs brought with it. It was like fog, but much more unpleasant and much denser. _Much, much denser. _She didn't need to look around to know she wasn't the only one with that same opinion "This is not healthy earth" She pressed her hands against her face after leaving the dried fruit…._somewhere_, fingers brushing against the edges of the hood, and just for a moment, she was glad her skin was kind of cold, because it refreshed her mind just a little bit. It was enough for Bilbo to raise her head and manage a smile, completely aware her lips curled into an awkward angle instead of what she was aiming for "I'll be fine, just give me a moment"

_Not very convincing. _

"No better than a dwarf on top of the ground instead of under it, uh" Oin sighed just ever so slightly, probably tired about the cursed air as well "It has happened to some of our kin when Smaug came, the ones who couldn't bear being apart from stone. You must tell me if it gets worse" Then, the dwarf stood and placed a hand on her shoulder in light reassurance, leaning forward and towards her. And she said light, because at the time there was absolutely nothing to be sure of, but the muttered words in her ear at least had her smiling a little bit lighter "Hang in there, lassie. Just a little bit more"

Oh, but just like the Company as a whole had things they just didn't talk about, and besides the fact that everything that made her a Hobbit utterly despised how sick everything around her felt, Bilbo had a problem of her own.

It all started innocently enough the first few days, when they still had the energy to chat and Bilbo was able to focus on whoever was talking instead of what was around them, when the forest wasn't as dense and Kili was able to say something to annoy someone and make almost everyone laugh. The first and last time wind brushed past them and caressed the leaves of the trees on top of their heads, setting loose the few ones that soon fell over the path, moving branches and making odd birds fly away from where she had certainly not noticed they were, and inevitably calling her eyes upwards just in time to catch the branches brushing against each other. It had been sudden, maybe a little bit light, short, but it was the start of something bigger.

Much, much bigger.

-_Laughter bubbled from her belly as they suddenly went down and up again, down and up again, leaves brushing her face countless times-_

And it steadily got worse as the trees grew wider and the sunlight became hard to find.

-_She knew, even if no one told her. She knew, that all that was around her, were trees and not walls-_

If the excitement and sheer happiness those thoughts seemed to drag along with them resembled in anything the situation the Company was in at the moment, it wouldn't have bothered Bilbo so much. Since that wasn't the case, she was just at her wits end. Mainly because, with each new thing that flashed in front of her eyes, her headache grew.

When it became clear she was not going to be left alone and in peace anytime soon and that it would, in fact, get worse the more they walked, Bilbo thought she should have asked Gandalf, when she had the chance, if she was by any chance cursed by some kind of really annoying magic, asked if she was living under some kind of spell –_And he better not be the one that had casted it on the first place. 'Very amusing to him' indeed_-. That would at least explain why now, when she was inside an actual cursed forest, she was having more problems with her mind than usual- Maybe all of what she had seen before were illusions sporadically brought to her head by some kind of magic, and now that she slept, ate, and walked surrounded by air that carried something definitely not good, it just made it worse. Maybe it didn't have to do with the scar at all.

Yes, that made more sense when she didn't try to explain it.

But it was the forest's fault. As of lately, everything was because of that damn forest.

And so, Bilbo didn't look at anything else besides the path.

In all honesty, she should have told Oin.

But yes, that was something Bilbo didn't talk about either.

"That doesn't even look like water" Kili wasn't the only one to look over the edge of the stone bridge they were currently walking over, but he was the only one who even attempted to describe what they saw, because Valar knew most of them didn't have the energy nor the clearness of mind to want to acknowledge that little fact. The hobbit had go agree with him though, because that white liquid running under the stones, emitting grey clouds of something that surely was not healthy to inhale, didn't look like water in the slightest "And this bridge feels as if it were about to collapse"

Bofur almost snickered.

"I would prefer not to be around when that happens"

"If we follow the path" Gloin and Dori were the only ones to look at Fili over their shoulders when he started speaking, but everyone was listening. The only reason Bilbo didn't move her head was because she felt as if, were she to take her eyes off the trail, the bricks would disappear in an instant. Wouldn't be the first time to happen. But she did notice from the corner of her eye how the blonde Prince nodded to himself before continuing "Yes, we are certain we are on our way to the other side of this cursed forest. But isn't this path bond to be watched at some point by those who actually reside here? It's the only safe route, and there is only one gate, as far as I know"

"Wouldn't that be…" Kili's voice trailed off for a moment, and the second the air around all of them became even denser than before and not exactly because of the forest or the water that wasn't water, the hobbit should have known something was not entirely right. And by all means, Bilbo should have known something was wrong when Ori, as she did look up, frowned as well- Ori _did _not frown without any clear reason, that just didn't happen "The Elves?"

-_Pointy ears, almost unblinking eyes, fond smile_-

Bilbo winced.

They all halted.

Well, actually, the dwarves halted. And because they were majority she was bound to run into Kili's back quite quickly, but it wasn't like the dwarf seemed to notice. They were all quiet for a moment, looking at the ground or at Thorin with almost somber expressions, and it took Bilbo more than a second to understand what it was all about. Mind you, it wasn't easy at all, because for the life of her she couldn't completely understand dwarves yet, so she resorted to listen to Dwalin almost muttered cursing and observe how Balin's eyes darted from the path to the forest surrounding them so she could understand.

But when she did, the Hobbit was horrified.

The words left her mouth so quickly it actually took even Thorin by surprise, if how he quickly blinked at her was anything to go by, but this time around Bilbo was perfectly aware of what she was saying, the dull ache inside her head tingling at the back of her mind "We cannot leave the path!" Half of the Company looked at her, the other half cursing under their breathe once more, probably because they were sharp enough to catch on what she was just voicing out with panic in her eyes, already shaking her head in negation and urgency "You've heard Gandalf, we would never find it again. We cannot trust that if we go deeper inside the forest, we would actually be walking pararel to it. And no one can possibly think it's a good idea to wander about, with limited supplies"

As usual, more than once voice rose at that, different dwarves giving different opinions, but for almost the first time that day Bilbo's eyes weren't focused on the path so they wouldn't lose it. No, this time the hobbit was looking at Balin and Dwalin as they both spoke with Thorin, muttering things and gesturing around, glancing at the trees with renewed suspicion but at the same time almost absent mindedly patting their bags, as if to feel how much food there was in them. She wanted to scream in frustration the more they glanced around the trees, feeling that now it was the moment it shown hobbits did their reputation justice: They were simple people. She didn't want to starve, she didn't want to die, she wanted to get the hell out of that forest, she wanted to follow the path that would lead them to do exactly so. There, simple.

But apparently it wasn't so

"This is not Rivendell" As he spoke, although the rest kept quiet and paid attention, Thorin looked at her. It was one of those moments when Bilbo felt like she was being explained another part of their culture, something they thought no one else could understand without a proper explanation, and the thing was, Bilbo did understand a part of it- She had heard the tales, she had heard the rumors, she had heard Balin speaking in low tones about elves and betrayal back at Beorn's, right before she promptly went to hang their clothes. And although she was grateful she was not longer being treated as if she were ignorant of the world, the hobbit didn't feel that much better and being talked into suicide because of not trying "_These _elves wouldn't receive us with open arms"

"Nor would whatever has watched us sleep at night" But this time around it was not only her who wasn't at all convinced with the idea. Bilbo was completely sure that it would take something unbelievable dark and evil to actually upset Bofur, because even though he was pointing out the raw truth of what surrounded them with glowing eyes every single time they set up camp, the toy maker didn't look all that different from usual even when he snorted a little bit and grimaced "On a second thought, they would. They would most gladly receive us with a happy stomach"

Had she not being preoccupied by something else, Bilbo would have laughed at it. Very loudly.

"We don't even know how far we are from the other side. That should be something to take into account"

For once after an exchange of ideas, the Company was quiet, waiting for whatever they would be doing the next few days, watching as Thorin pondered the possibilities. The dwarf looked at the path and at the forest with it's thick, twisted trees and branches and even darker little animals. At the end, Thorin shook his head heavily, and kept on walking.

"We follow the path for whats left of today. We decide with rested bodies"

* * *

-_She was hoisted into the air, before finding her place sitting on the hip of whoever had lifted her. But her eyes remained on the dark shadow that had not been there last time, curling her hands around the fabric under her finger tips, skin crawling with uneasiness-_

"You should be resting"

Despite being startled by the voice, Bilbo sooner rather than later realized who was talking to her and just what had been said, and she was more than a little bit happy that someone had pulled her to reality once more. When she looked up from the ground, her neck hurting because she had clearly being in that position for most part of the day and changing it wasn't that comfortable, it wasn't much of a surprise to find Thorin standing beside the root she was sitting on top of. Now, it wasn't surprise because he used to do it or anything of the sorts, but because their camp was rather small and everyone was on sight, being sitting on top of the path and everything. To her relieve that night hadn't been as quiet as the others, even if it was because of Gloin speaking of his wife and son once more, but now that most were asleep, trying to escape from that forest even if were only for a few hours and in a complete platonic way, there were only a few sounds here and there, and so, the hobbit was quiet when grimacing at the leader of the Company "_You _should be" And she managed to sound almost as if nothing were entirely wrong. Which wasn't true, because the hobbit could hardly breathe without feeling suffocated, something ironic, but at this point Bilbo just embraced how miserable they all felt "_I'm_ the one on first watch"

_And what a find job she had being doing, really._

"Sleep is hard to come by these days" The King –_Because he was a King, Bilbo mused, a notion sounded somehow foreign_\- shook his head at her words, and had she not known better, the hobbit would have sworn he was fighting for the corners of his mouth to stay there instead of curling into an equally awkward grin. Or maybe she was not that wrong. She didn't have much time to ponder the possibilities though, for the dwarf sat by her side in less than a second, and now that she had him closer Bilbo could see his face more clearly, which meant she could see the lines in between his eyebrows, the almost disarranged strands of hair that refused to stay in place, and basically everything that summed up to show just how stressed he was- Thorin, Bilbo had come to realize, didn't ever look like he was actually tired, he just looked tensed and stressed. Maybe it was the weight of responsibility pressing down his shoulders, maybe it was his own stubbornness bringing out the best of him in the not at all lovely situation, making the dwarf tougher than his race already was, but the fact was that Bilbo thought it to be unfair. Surely, someone who went to these lengths for a single goal, no matter how big or how little, deserved a moment of rest.

"I am no expert, Your Highness" She found herself saying, catching his attention and this time making him look at her. She tried to smile, or smirk, or whatever came out, from under her hood and through all the tiredness and the headache, and she hoped that although her voice was quite low in hopes of not disturbing anyone else, she was able to convey what she wanted "But I think it's the trees"

It was a small victory when he snorted lowly, and smirked.

"Maybe you are right. It's always the trees"

That was the moment Bilbo decided she would never again doubt Kili was Thorin's nephew. It was almost as seeing and hearing the young dwarf saying it himself.

There was a moment of silence between the two of them that she had not experienced since Beorn's, and even though she grew in a very big family with lots of little cousins running around, Bilbo was kind of glad. Mainly because having a warrior that as of late was friendly to you, sitting at your right was always comforting- Actually, Bilbo found that it was a little bit easier to breathe. For a moment, everything was as calm as it could be given the circumstances, and truth to be told it was a nice change from everything that had happened the last weeks, and for that moment, Bilbo was able to actually aknowledge the fact that they were all _alive_; yes, she had noticed that little detail quite a while ago, but you can't really blame a hobbit for looking back at all those times they ran from orcs, turned trolls into stone, killed wargs, encounter Stone Giants, met giant eagles, meet a skin changer, and feel like it had all been a creative dream.

Yes, the bruises were quite real, thank you very much, she felt those in her _soul_ if you were wondering. But it felt as if someone else had done all of that, not her- Maybe, if she had been born a few years later, she would read about it in some book. She would read about the prince who became King Under the Mountain during the most unlikely situation, and his quest to kill a dragon and reclaim a lost kingdom, she would read about his brave companions, the odds they faced, the wizard that pushed all of them forward with a key and a map. And she would know it was real but then, she would close the lid and go for another story.

Sitting in the middle of a cursed forest made everything a little bit more real, funny as it sounded.

"Thorin?" As nice as it all was, and as much as Bilbo would have liked to stay like that for a little more, there was no way of actually resting or appreciate she was alive when there was constant worry tugging in the back of her mind. Bilbo brushed the palms of her hands together, trying for the life of her to not fall into exhasperation or frustration again, because it was late and it would do no good to anyone "You know we must stay on the path, don't you?"

She had expected silence after her question. Actually, she was quite prepared for numerous reactions, from silence to swearing, to being ignored to be told off by a pissed dwarf. Some, she had to admit, now weren't as probable, mainly because Thorin wasn't as closed minded with her as before, but she was hobbit and he was a dwarf, therefore, she had the feeling the would be a fool by thinking she could accurately predict his behavior. And so when he did answer her question, she was surprised at how void of actual hostile feelings his void came out, and how he didn't move much from his place, shaking his head lightly as if not to disturb what little peace they had at the moment. Probably, tiredness kicking in, in a very subtle way.

"It's risky"

"Our supplies are not eternal" Was her muttered reply. The suspicion of what she was saying had been the reason behind why she had gone through their food supply with Bombur, just to have arguments when the time came and someone else tried to suggest going off the path. They had filled those bags to their maximum back at Beorn's, of that even Gandalf made sure, but they became lighter and lighter as time went by, just like their water skins started to become stressfully small, and it was not because she was a hobbit that Bilbo grew increasingly worried about their food "You saw what happened when the boys caught the squirrel and tried to eat it two days ago. We are not going to find food or water here"

No, it wasn't her 'Hobbit Sensibilities', as other races would put it.

It was common sense.

Being the leader that he was, it wasn't likely Thorin had not already had an idea of what she was talking about, and that probably was why he sighed quite deeply, closing his eyes for a moment, and staying both quiet and still. Bilbo wasn't all that happy on pressing onto the matter, but there was something inside of her that urged the hobbit so stay on the path no matter what- At this point of the journey, it probably was because of not knowing just what they could find, or because it was clear the air would be worst deep into the forest, or how they had been clearly told not to do it, or how if Gandalf just let them go with the supplies they had it was because they were enough to last until they reached the other side of the forest. And she was not about to let herself die just because there was a grudge between two races that maybe would not even encounter each other inside the forest. But when she opened her mouth to speak again the hobbit closed it almost instantly, finding that Thorin no longer had his eyes closes, and that now he was looking at her directly to the face.

It occurred to the hobbit that it wasn't the first time she had seen his eyes up close, but some part of her brain, the part that refused to feel completely ruined by how tired her entire body did feel, whispered in her ear that although that was true, it was also true that he had never looked at her for so long and from up close. It wasn't useful information, nor when she took in just how blue his eyes actually were, so the hobbit tried her best to just push those thoughts aside. She was already going insane as it was.

It didn't help he just kept on looking at her.

"You do look grey"

That gave _her _a chance of looking away. And release a breathe she certainly didn't notice she had been holding. And sitting there, playing with her fingers and firmly looking down to the ground took her all the way back to when she was in her tweens, which was unsettling, and stupid. Bilbo felt stupid, and strange. But that was the tree's fault, _always the tree's fault._

Thing was, when she managed to say something that wouldn't sound as stupid as she felt, it wasn't the brightest choice of words ever "This place is giving me a little bit of a headache" So much for keeping it a secret, but well, all that air and the tiredness of walking all day long with few breaks had her mind clouded and more than slightly blurred, therefore Bilbo wouldn't regret revealing that small fact as of yet. Maybe in the morning, but for the time being she just turned to look at Thorin in hopes to keep her mind occupied for a little bit "Is this how you normally feel, not being under rock?"

"After long periods of time, yes" Long periods of time. What exactly counted as 'long periods of time' to dwarves? For people who lived more than hobbits, maybe things didn't need or just didn't move as fast at all. But what made Bilbo wince a little was thinking of how it had felt when Smaug attacked their kingdom and they were force to wander around, no underground city to take them in and provide with the relief Bilbo would at least get once they stepped out of that forest "Though I have never encountered an equivalent of this"

That made things a little bit better.

"Neither have I" By all means, call her an idiot, but she also tried to take a look around. Even though they didn't quite catch the light of the sun, it was obvious it was night time, for not only was it dark but also because there was rustling about everywhere around them, something she had not gotten used to but at least recognized. It was a good thing they didn't have kin ears, or just weren't used to listen to what a forest had to say, because if the dwarves heard what she heard instead of just noticing the bright eyes blinking in the darkness, they would surely go charging almost immediately. Clearly, the hobbit was not prepared to face the forest again, because after she blinked twice, maybe three times, she started seeing double.

-_The horse they mounted went forward with great speed, and only because she was looking back, she was able to see the bright yellow but hollow eyes blinking at them-_

That was when Bilbo bent herself forward, left hand holding the side of her head in a vain attempt of keeping in whatever threatened to burst out of her skull, but it that were to actually help then the hobbit would have been free of pain a lot time ago. No one noticed, not when Gloin snored and Kili pressed the heel of his feet against his brother's ribcage, which caused the blonde Prince to make some noise in his sleep- No one noticed, no one but Thorin. And Bilbo didn't forget about him because seconds later a hand placed itself on her right forearm, clothing rustling when the dwarf inched just a little bit closer. Bilbo was certain that Thorin was frowning.

Quite surprisingly enough, when he spoke, it was an almost worried whisper. _Almost, because Kings in the middle of cursed forests had more important things to worry about._

"You should wake Oin"

"Just a moment" Comically enough Bilbo managed to lift a single finger in an attempt of making it look like it would really take her _just _a moment, which obviously didn't work in the slightest, and by that time her head was already so bent forward and close to her arms the side of her skull and some of her curls not only brushed against the hand that Thorin still had on her arm, but actually leaned slightly towards it. The only reason Bilbo noticed this was because said hand tensed against her head, but until her vision went back to normal and she was able to sit up straight, the hobbit was not moving and risking throwing up or fainting, a possibility that, he felt, was very real "Just… give me a moment, it's just a headache"

For how long she stayed in that position, Bilbo had next to no idea, but you can be sure she was not about to lift her head to check with her own eyes, because if she did, the hobbit wasn't entirely sure of what would be her immediate physical response –_She was feeling disgustingly sure of throwing up, so more reasons to just stay where she was with closed eyes_\- . Nothing seemed to change, nor the heaviness of the air or the scratching and rustling of whatever animal was watching them that night, or the not soft snores of the Company and the low sleep talking that, oddly enough, helped Bilbo to calm down –_Not that she had an idea of what green pony Kili was referring to_-, but she did know, that surprisingly enough, Thorin didn't move away. His hand remained against her skull, his whole body sitting beside her spot on the root, and it came to her that he was acting kind of strange as of lately. A good kind of strange, but strange nevertheless.

"Thorin?"

"Yes?"

And it most probably was her imagination as well, but Bilbo almost could swear she felt a finger brushing against her skull, almost as if it were a caress, accompanying the almost gentle sounding answer.

"Please stay on the path"


End file.
